Tag: lying

God Really Did Open A Scaramucci Window When He Closed That Sean Spicer Door

Anthony Scaramucci: Hilarious threat to America, or dangerous goofball?

Chris Christie Wouldn’t Eat Michael Flynn If He Was On Fire

Oh look who is trying to be relevant again!

Democrats Target Donald Trump’s Greatest Weakness: Donald Trump

The Democratic Convention probed for weaknesses in the Republican nominee, and found a target-rich environment.
History's Greatest Monster, 2016 Edition

Fox News SHOCKER: Hillary Clinton Beat Bill Like An Egg-Stealing Hound

Fox News, America's most reliable and trusted cable news outlet, has been muddling around for years now, trying to find some dirt on Hillary Clinton that will really stick. Benghazi, excuse us, BENGHAZHI!!1!, has turned out to be a bust. The...
Sit on it and spin, you orange baboon.

Donald Trump Loves The Gays So Much He Wants Them To Go Outside On This Nice Day

We sent Major Major Major Major to the Donald Trump Howler Monkey Circus stop in Atlanta! Word poop was flung!
Also refuses to take ex-lax

Ted Cruz Wishes Obama And Hillary Would Stop Forcing Him To Be A Dick All The Time

Back in July, it was kind of a big deal when Ted Cruz called Senate Majority Leader Mitch McConnell a big ol' liar from the tip of his tail to the top of his carapace. This was not only...

Uh Oh, Is Hobby Lobby Going To Hell For Stealing All God’s Cool Stuff?

Hobby Lobby, the arts-n-farts store where stay-at-home mommy vloggers buy all their NO HOMO glitter and scrapbooking supplies, is the pinnacle of Christian values and American virtue, which are basically the same thing, if you squint at the First Amendment...
Caedite eos. Novit enim Dominus qui sunt eius. Carly 2016!

Carly Fiorina’s Medieval History Degree Will Help Her Beat ISIS, Crush Albigensian Heresy

Carly Fiorina took a break from her heavy schedule of lying, lying, lying, and more lying to engage in some plain old stupid bullshit for a change. She recently explained to a New Hampshire audience that her bachelor's degree in medieval history and philosophy...
Jim Hoft

Obama Will Force Priests To ‘Bortion Anchor Babies, Says Noted Idiot Jim Hoft

Last year, mop-topped pus bubble Jim Hoft lost his coveted Stupidest Man on the Internet title to alpha male newcomer Chuck Johnson. Yr Wonket is pleased to see that Hoft is mounting a determined campaign to regain his tin crown,...
Understands Jesus

The Fartknocker Report: Sarah Palin Moves Lips About Abortion, Lies Ensue. Surprise!

Usually, Yr Wonket has some discretion regarding which Palin-flavored entrees we will shove down your throats each weekend on the Fartknocker Report. Unfortunately, this was one of those weeks when the Tundra Grifter couldn't be bothered to do more than...
Happy trails

Ousted Dem Sen. Mark Udall Goes Nuts On Lying Liars At CIA

Sen. Mark Udall was turfed out of office this November by the good people of Colorado, so for the last few weeks, Udall's been wandering the halls of Congress wondering what to do with his final moments on the...

Candy Crowley Did, But Didn’t, But Actually Did Back Down From Correcting Mittens On Libya

Last night, human dishonesty machine Mitt Romney lied about Barack Obama not calling the attack on the Benghazi consulate an "act of terror" for fourteen days. Candy Crowley (or CanCrow, as the kids call her) corrected Mitt, because he...

Wall Street Journal: To Use The Word ‘Liar Is To Kill Six Million Jews

Mitt Romney stated things during the debate last week that were often in direct contravention of both reality and things he had previously stated. If you're wondering why I don't use the L-word ("liar," not "lesbian"), it's because, as...

Joe Miller Admits He Lies About Everything, Even ‘Computers’

Joe Miller lied about computers. What does this even mean? It means Joe says he's never heard of computers, when in fact he has used computers several times, for all sorts of unethical things. (He wrongly used a computer...

Obama Either Did Not Remember His Twitter Or He Is Ashamed Of It

Obama, talking to students in Shanghai: “Well, first of all, let me say that I have never used Twitter. My thumbs are too clumsy to type in things on the phone.” There is no end to his lying. Barack...

A Children’s Treasury Of Endlessly Quotable Quotes From Blagojevich’s New Book

Book publishing and sociopathy collide in a BIG WAY this morning, as America is treated to its first glimpses of The Governor, the upcoming kunstlerroman from foul-mouthed ex-Monkee Rod Blagojevich. There is so much to love about this book...