Tag Archives: lucifer

  Tossing the Lord's apples

Christian College Kids Now Beaning Gay-Lovers With Fruit For Jesus, Are Too Lame, Always Miss

The evangelical Christians are fighting over the gays, everyone! Specifically, they are fighting at ultra-conservative Wheaton College in Illinois, where a simple nice chapel time turned into a fruit-tossing contest. NO THEY DID NOT THROW GAY PEOPLE AT EACH OTHER, you should not be calling gays “fruits,” anyway, you dicks, did you learn nothing at liberal indoctrination camp? Read more on Christian College Kids Now Beaning Gay-Lovers With Fruit For Jesus, Are Too Lame, Always Miss…
  hail satan

Why Does Time Magazine Think New Pope Is The Devil?

Buzzfeed posits that Time Magazine gave New Pope devil horns. This is somewhat undercut by Buzzfeed including its own gallery of former Time covers of Jew- Devil-horned people. But it is somewhat un-undercut by the fact that those people are Putin, Thatcher and Bill Gates! So … Read more on Why Does Time Magazine Think New Pope Is The Devil?…
  all hail satan

Totally Great ‘The Bible’ Mini-Series Explains That Barack Obama Is The Debbil

Hey Hitler Channel watchers, did you tune into “The Bible” last night? No? We did not either, because Joel Osteen and Rick Warren and the Assemblies of God and the National Association of Evangelicals are not really our go-to guys on Jesus and stuff. (And also because we didn’t know it was on.) (And also also, because on Sunday nights we like to just get high.) (Did we say “Sunday nights”?) Jesus. Jesus was a cool guy! We have a friend in him, and et cetera! Did they even get to Jesus last night? Don’t know that either! But according to The Wik, last night’s episode focused on “Zedekiah, Nebuchadnezzar, Daniel, Jews return to Jerusalem.” Sounds riveting, dudes! But if we didn’t watch it, and you didn’t either, why are we talking about this exactly? Well, like it says in the headline: because “The Bible” explains that Barack Obama is actually Beelzebub! Read more on Totally Great ‘The Bible’ Mini-Series Explains That Barack Obama Is The Debbil…
  get thee behind him lucifer

The Devil Accuses Bobby Jindal Of Sinning In His Heart (And In His Hand) To Amy Grant

Behold this dramatization of Louisiana Governor Bobby Jindal’s account of the exorcism of a friend that he performed in college. This is just an excellent film, detailed and insightful about the spiritual warfare that aims to drive Lucifer from the bodies of our fellow humans. Read more on The Devil Accuses Bobby Jindal Of Sinning In His Heart (And In His Hand) To Amy Grant…