Hated Florida governor Charlie Crist fired his longtime communications director this week. This is the only “political move” you can do, in politics. Ben Smith says that Crist, who amuses himself by doing public impressions of a married straight person, is now just giving out his cell number to reporters, although this bit of information is conspicuously absent in the Sun Sentinel article Smith links to. Ergo! Charlie Crist gave Ben Smith his number for either phone sex or human body sex. Someone tell Ben Smith to wait at least 96 hours before calling if he’s at all serious about love. [Ben Smith]

Anthony Weiner, the Democrat who infuriated many libtards by refusing to run for New York mayor and saying mean things about Jon Stewart once, can infuriate them all over again by officially taking one of the cutest, most shiny-haired Clinton staffers off the market. He proposed to Hillary Clinton’s best girlfriend Huma Abedin in late May and we just found out about it, because of … secrecy? Anthony Weiner is Dick Cheney in a pantsuit. [AP]

Once upon a time, this nobody governor in, uhh, one of the southern states, but not a famous one like Florida, got a book deal. He was supposed to write about how to be conservative or something, A Southern Gentleman’s Guide To Being Conservative, but then this nobody governor turned into Mark Sanford, the Sparkin’ Thing, with his soulmate The Argentine Firecracker, and his nice wife The Kindly Wife Who Kept It Together, and basically we were in teevee miniseries territory, so of course Sanford’s publisher has killed his book. What? MORE »

Republican star Mark Sanford pretty much came clean during his press conference! That is a rare thing with these people, and as a result, liberals everywhere are oohing and aahing, “Oh it’s true love he wasn’t even fucking street urchin boys as far as we know, he should just ditch his awful wife and children,” etc. MORE »

Oh noes the wingnuts are very, very upset! Why? This street negro, Barack Obama, allegedly kowtowed to the Saudi King while meeting said Saudi King at the G-20. (The White House says, “Uhh, Obama is a lot taller than that old dwarf, so he bent down to look at him.”) It is shameful for an American president to politely bow one’s head while being presented to a Saudi Prince/King. You are supposed to smooch him up and hold his hand and walk him around your ranch and then give him a loving blowjob, like George W. Bush Junior always did! Let’s remember the good times, together. MORE »

Well, hopefully YOU have a date for Valentine’s Day, you little minx you. Your Intern the Third will be sequestered, in mourning, at one of the these fine drinking establishments. MORE »

By the Comics Curmudgeon
Ahh, what’s that smell? Now that the election is over and there’s a brief respite from the never-ending stream of bullshit, we can catch a whiff of sweet romance! They don’t call the period after a new president’s election a “honeymoon” for nothing. Let’s enjoy this brief window of love-addled happiness before the hellscape re-engulfs us with these fine romantic cartoons. MORE »

It’s no Hillary Clinton Supporters for John McCain, but this site is still what one Project Runway contestant might call a HOT TRANNY MESS. From the misspelled headline to the two alluring singles named “test” and “test2,” it has more than a whiff of the amateur…what is this, an FBI honeypot? Is Dick Cheney collecting email addresses off this thing? [Supports Obama and Single]

Sweet criminy, did Juan McCain send out a hot e-mail this morning or what: “It’s pretty obvious that the media has a bizarre fascination with Barack Obama. Some may even say it’s a love affair. We want you to be the judge. We’ve compiled two videos of the more outrageous moments of this not so secret love affair.” Indeed, it’s very similar to the “secret love affairs” that John McCain had during his first marriage, and more recently too, and also with the media. MORE »

Setting aside his inconvenient wife, it’s clear that Barack Obama is America’s coolest bachelor president since James Buchanan. So what’s the best way for his billions of global admirers to charm their way into his fantastically pleated pants? MORE »

Hillary and Barack, according to CNN’s John King, almost made sparkly interracial love before the debate:

I was backstage just before the debate, and it became very clear to me that she was not going to come out with a flame-thrower, as many thought she might have to do given her position in the race right now. At first they stood several feet, probably 15 feet away from each other, not acknowledging each other. And then she walked up to him and said, “Hey, Barack.” And he turned to her very warmly, put his arm around her and said, “Hey, Hillary, how are you?”

Aww. Then Hillary gently whispered sweet nothings in his ear, except these sweet nothings were actually a constant stream of the n-word. He giggled. [via TPM]