Ladies, it’s all your fault. Hopefully you realize this by now, because all the evidence is clear, and there is literally nothing that cannot be blamed on you. Like how you will divorce your husband just because he is having penile-vaginal relations with another woman, when it’s obviously your fault he was cheating in the […]

You know what says love? A gun says love. Just ask anyone who’s in love with guns, like maybe Kathy Kieffer at TownHall: Forget roses. This Valentine’s Day, give her a gift that shows you love her whole body and soul. Give her a gun. Your Valentine—whether she’s your wife, girlfriend, daughter or sister—deserves something […]

It just isn’t a good time to be a public figure in the Chicago area if you’re into the teen girl thing. First everyone threw up in their mouths a little when Mel Reynolds announced he would run for Illinois’ 2nd Congressional District. Now, teen-romance man/Cook County* Attorney Tim Scannell has himself a Harassment Restraining […]

You guys, extra-sad news! John Edwards and Rielle Hunter, who as far as we knew six days ago were America’s number one committed couple, are now totally broken up. Well, they’re still a family, because when you knock up your crazy new age-y campaign videographer and/or are knocked up by a married sleazeball presidential candidate, […]

It is going to take weeks to unpack all of this New Yorker-length Vanity Fair article “Portrait Of Obama As A Pretentious Young Man,” but we at Your Wonkette know your carnal and emotional needs, and that is to have regular updates on this, the greatest magazine journalism of its generation. Up now! She remembered […]

Now that Terry Jones is apparently Florida’s #1 Muslin-loving chickenshit, the question still remains: Is there a more respectful way to showcase one’s deep-seated hatred of the Muslim faith, or is burnin’ some Queerans at your trailer park swamp church on 9/11 really the proper way to go, as far as “etiquette” is concerned? Americans […]

TRUE LOVE WAITS  8:47 am July 14, 2010

by Josh Fruhlinger

BREAKING: LEVI AND BRISTOL TO PUT THE FINAL NAIL IN THE COFFIN OF HETEROSEXUAL MARRIAGE “Bristol Palin and Levi Johnston say they’re engaged and hope to get married within six weeks in Alaska … Palin and Johnston tell the magazine they reconnected while working out a custody plan and became engaged two weeks ago.” Ha […]

Neither snow nor sleet, nor more snow and sleet, can stop what is coming this Sunday: Valentine’s Day. BLAH BLAH BLAH, you either love Valentine’s Day because you’re happy and in love, or its mere presence makes you want to slit your wrists. (Or you don’t care.) Well, whether you’re single, in a relationship or […]

Hated Florida governor Charlie Crist fired his longtime communications director this week. This is the only “political move” you can do, in politics. Ben Smith says that Crist, who amuses himself by doing public impressions of a married straight person, is now just giving out his cell number to reporters, although this bit of information […]

Anthony Weiner, the Democrat who infuriated many libtards by refusing to run for New York mayor and saying mean things about Jon Stewart once, can infuriate them all over again by officially taking one of the cutest, most shiny-haired Clinton staffers off the market. He proposed to Hillary Clinton’s best girlfriend Huma Abedin in late […]

Once upon a time, this nobody governor in, uhh, one of the southern states, but not a famous one like Florida, got a book deal. He was supposed to write about how to be conservative or something, A Southern Gentleman’s Guide To Being Conservative, but then this nobody governor turned into Mark Sanford, the Sparkin’ […]

Republican star Mark Sanford pretty much came clean during his press conference! That is a rare thing with these people, and as a result, liberals everywhere are oohing and aahing, “Oh it’s true love he wasn’t even fucking street urchin boys as far as we know, he should just ditch his awful wife and children,” […]

Oh noes the wingnuts are very, very upset! Why? This street negro, Barack Obama, allegedly kowtowed to the Saudi King while meeting said Saudi King at the G-20. (The White House says, “Uhh, Obama is a lot taller than that old dwarf, so he bent down to look at him.”) It is shameful for an […]

Well, hopefully YOU have a date for Valentine’s Day, you little minx you. Your Intern the Third will be sequestered, in mourning, at one of the these fine drinking establishments.

CARTOON VIOLENCE  1:00 pm November 21, 2008

Love Is In The Air

by Josh Fruhlinger

By the Comics CurmudgeonAhh, what’s that smell? Now that the election is over and there’s a brief respite from the never-ending stream of bullshit, we can catch a whiff of sweet romance! They don’t call the period after a new president’s election a “honeymoon” for nothing. Let’s enjoy this brief window of love-addled happiness before […]