367 Days Ago, John McCain Pledged To Bring Bottled Hot Water To Dehydrated Babies
Friday, June 5th, 2009
One year ago yesterday minus a day, John McCain delivered the speech of the century to a small smattering of embittered retirees haunting an abandoned Bingo hall in Louisiana. Meanwhile, a young upstart Muslin named Hussein “Barack” Obama cast a sorcerer’s spell over a large crowd of innocents in St. Paul and told them that yes, he would be their nominee for Preznet if they insisted. Do you remember, America? Do you remember the terrible death-rictus stretched across John McCain’s crumbling skull as he uttered the immortal words, “That’s nnnnot ch-ch-cha-chaaange you can bb-huh-lieve in”? Let’s celebrate this milestone anniversary and laugh again. MORE »











Two recent incidents show that our nation’s proud elected officials all turn into COCKS OF RAGE at the sight of airport personnel. First David Vitter tries to
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You know what Louisiana Republicans love? Constructing elaborate state-funded schemes for tinkering with the loins of undesirables. First comes Governor Bobby Jindal’s amazing proposal to
A famous national Democratic leader, “State Sen. Derrick Shepherd, D-Marrero,” in Louisiana, has been arrested for … well, we can’t really figure out what for, exactly, but it involves lap dancers, in his house, plus maybe his mom and sister? Punching an ex-girlfriend in the stomach, after breaking into her house? Oh, and he is also already being prosecuted “mail fraud, conspiracy to commit mail and wire fraud, and conspiracy to commit money laundering,” which is apparently unrelated to this current arrest.
Little weirdo and
Ha, so get this. John McCain and pals very recently came up with the MEDIA PLOY OF THE CENTURY: they were going to Take The Media Back from Barack Obama during his big speech in Berlin tomorrow, which at least 400 million people will attend (hurrah), by speaking from an oil rig off the coast of Louisiana. Surely all reporters and cameramen would’ve rushed to cover this instead, because what’s a better venue for a media grab than some tiny offshore piece of metal that’s only reachable by helicopter? But now, after publicizing this brilliant coup, McCain has had to cancel it because of, whatitscalled, THE MONSTROUS HURRICANE THAT IS DESTROYING EVERYTHING IN THE GULF.