louie gohmert
Louie Gohmert: Boston Bombings Happened Because Eric Holder Gay-Married To Islam
Texas Congressman Louie Gohmert (R-Lookatmee), clearly worried that he was no longer on the leading edge of crazed paranoia, suggested today that Attorney General Eric Holder allowed Boston bombing suspect Dzhokhar Tsarnaev to be read his Miranda rights not because Tsarnaev is a U.S. Citizen entitled to certain rights under the Constitution, but because Holder [...]
Louie Gohmert Ponders: Can Anyone Tell These Arabs And Messicans Apart?
Actual Sekrit Chatcave Dialogue: Dok Z: Has Louie Gohmert actually not yet said anything stupid about Boston yet? Rebecca S: According to twitter he has said something about something, but I do not know what. Tapatio? Dok Z (after quick Google search): Oh, there we go! See, I thought I was joking. But he came [...]
Louie Gohmert: If You Limit The Number Of Bullets In A Clip, Polygamists Will Gay-Marry Your Dog
On a slow news day (seriously! so slow! can’t someone make some news for us to be mean about?) Louie Gohmert really is the gift that keeps on giving. He stone cold parks wherever he pleases, and believes that the sequester should mean that Bamz never gets to leave the house. Today, he’s rescuing yr [...]
Can You Guess Which Congresscritter Cast Lone ‘No’ Vote On Actually Sane Bill About ‘Lunatics’?
Here at Wonkette, we never ever forget to be unrelentingly smug and cynical about the U.S. House of Representatives. And really, why the hell not? They’re a veritable parade of horribles. See, for example, everything Ron Paul has ever done. (We are only linking to the most recent awful Ron Paul thing because you do not [...]
Texas Congressman Louie Gohmert Casts Aspersions On Potency Of John McCain’s Scrotum
Yes, you are the newest supernova in the Wonket Cavalcade of Stars, Texas Rep. Louie Gohmert, but are you burning too bright? Having just in the past week joined in Michelle Bachmann’s search for Arabs under the bed, and then gotten it just right with his explanation that Aurora was caused by Jealous Jeebus, Louie [...]
Senator Mocks Crazies With ‘Each Sperm Is Sacred’ Amendment
To make a point, which is a thing that congresspersons occasionally do, Democrat Constance Johnson, State Senator from Oklahoma, proposed an amendment to the state’s personhood bill this week that would render punishable by law ANY sperm that does not enter into a competition with its squiggly brethren to make a baby! The personhood bill, [...]
Rep. Louie Gohmert Is Talking About Caribou Sex In Congress
Have you ever wished that Texas Rep. Louie Gohmert would stop and take some time to explain what makes caribou want to hump? Sure you have. Here you go: “So when they want to go on a date, they invite each other to head over to the [oil] pipeline,” he says, and you can imagine [...]
Gohmert: Obama In Libya So He Can Call Up Secret Health-Care-Law Troops
Most conservatives hate everything President Obama does. But they love war. Love it! They would go to war with half the world if they had a Republican president in office who would let them. So the cognitive dissonance has been pretty tough on this Libya thing. On the one hand, evil Kenyan! On the other [...]
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