Tag: louie gohmert

Louie Gohmert Says It’s Not Christ-like To Make Fun Of ‘Special Needs’ Folks Like Hillary Clinton

Louie Gohmert knows Jesus would NOT make fun of Hillary Clinton. Don't you want to be like Jesus?

GOP Convention Guests Get To Potty Next To ALL The Trans Folk In Cleveland, Yippee!

She's sassy!

Fox News’s Laura Ingraham Has Diaper Fantasies, And They Are Disgusting

Laura Ingraham can't wait to poop her pants. Don't you want to sit next to her?

Apparently Not Dead Dr. Dobson Wishes Some Real Men Would Shoot The Transgenders

Apparently he does not realize that ladies' restrooms have stalls. And that they don't have urinals.

Louie Gohmert Pretty Sure Space-Queers Wouldn’t Be Very Good At Saving Humanity

Texas Republican Congresshick Louie Gohmert has some thoughts to share about gays, outer space, Matt Damon, and traditional het’rosexual romance!

Louie Gohmert Would Have Gotten A Stiffie And Here’s Why

Texas Republican Congressman Louie Gohmert doesn't have an erection right now. (Unless he does.) But Louie Gohmert gets boners sometimes, and he knows sometimes there need to be laws, to protect people from his boners. He explained this to...
Idea hat.

Louie Gohmert Knows Dr. King Did Not Die So Scientists Could Have A Bunch Of Vaginas

Know what's super? How the Republican-controlled House of Representatives passed TWO bills on Tuesday, both of which were very Nice-Nice and all 'bout gettin' some girls all up in science's grill. That's a good thing, yeah? Because everybody knows far...

America Might Not Have Embarrassing Clown Louie Gohmert To Kick Around Any More

Presidential candidates aren't the only thing Texas is going to play Hold 'Em with on Super Tuesday, as there is also GOHMERS! Texas Congresscritter Louis Bumblescrunch Gohmert IV (R-Some Shithole) is under attack in his own backyard! No, not from...

Texas Rep. Not Saying Obama Made Up Climate Change Hoax, He’s Just Askin’

In Texas, every schoolboy learns, apparently, that he can say anything, no matter how crazy it sounds, so long as he's just askin' what everyone's a-thinkin', is all. Don't you dare accuse Republican Rep. Louie Gohmert of saying President Obama is a...
Values Voters arriving.

It’s The Values Voter Summit! Has Grindr Crashed Yet?

Hooray, the Values Voter Summit started Friday morning in Washington ... and you're late! Haha, just kidding, it's never too late to go to a sausage party full of sad, closeted dicks. We woulda been ALL OVER THIS SHIT...

Let’s Meet Our New House Speaker In Charge Of Getting Nothing Done In Congress!

So. We have now had a chance to BRB, DYING OF LAUGHTER about the breaking news that Weeper of the House John Boehner is taking his gavel and going home at the end of October. So, who's going...
Idea hat.

Louie Gohmert Says He’ll Quit Congress Over Iran Deal, Bye Dumbass!

All these Republican wingnut jokesters, making promises they never keep! So Rep. Louie Gohmert (R-Asparagus Aspersions) is very, very upset about the Iran deal, because it's not a treaty, which means Iran won't pay any attention to it, and...
Is Louie Gohmert a Ferengi? We're only asking!

Don’t Accuse Louie Gohmert Of Callin’ Obama A Terrorist, ‘Twas An Innocent Question

This one seems a little out there, even for the mighty mental power that is Texas congresstoad Louie Gohmert: In a floor speech in the House of Representatives, Gohmert wanted to ask -- just ask, mind you -- whether...
Oh, *that*...

Shifty Barack Obama Won’t Even Admit He Invented ISIS

Barack Obama is fairly sure he's learned the lesson of the Iraq War, even if Republican presidential candidates are still working on figuring out what it was (Lesson: Stop asking about 2003 and blame Obama). In an interview with...
Idea hat.

Congressdolt Louie Gohmert: Iraq War Was A Mistake Because Obama Has Boner For Our Enemies

Texas congressoaf Louie Gohmert offered a new variation on this week's popular "Was The Iraq War A Good Idea" theme Tuesday, explaining that if George W. Bush had only known he'd be succeeded by the Very Bad President Barack...
Another axe-wielding Minnesota maniac

Muslim Congressman Keith Ellison Obviously Behind Shooting In Texas Because Muslim

Dead Breitbart's Foundation For Frothing Paranoia brought us a whole new frontier in guilt by association Tuesday, revealing the shocking connections between the idiot jihadist-wannabes who tried to shoot up a stupid anti-Islam hatefest in Texas and a Somali...