Tag Archives: lou dobbs

 

Lou Dobbs Almost Makes Hilarious Racist Old Man Slip-Up

Do you know who Lou Dobbs, the orange-headed anti-Mexican elitist, hates more than The Illegals? Cotton-pickin’ politicians such as Condoleezza Rice! You see, “cotton-pickin'” refers to people who pick cotton, and is a term of derision used by angry old men of a certain age who prefer arcane insults over nice all-purpose Anglo-Saxon adjectives. Fortunately for Dobbs, he stops himself midway through this terrible slur and avoids touching that tar baby. [YouTube via TPM] Read more on Lou Dobbs Almost Makes Hilarious Racist Old Man Slip-Up…
 

LOU DOBBS IS A REAL CHARACTER, REAL CLASSY GUY: Well glory be, one of the Media Matters press releases has a funny in it! Here’s CNN host Lou Dobbs opening his show on March 21: “Tonight, Senator Obama wins the endorsement of the nation’s only Hispanic governor, Bill Richardson. Is Obama pandering to ethnocentric special interests again? We’ll have complete coverage.” Barack Obama has yet to denounce the Hispanic race, because that would be like denouncing his uncle. [Media Matters] Read more on …
 

McCain Frontrunner Status Will Make Lou Dobbs Our President

Various “Draft Lou Dobbs” web sites have been popping up around the Internets for a while. But will the ascendancy of John “Deport All the Americans and Rejoin the Republic of New Spain” McCain drive patriotic citizens into the ochre embrace of the CNN news anchor? We will find out on November 4, when America elects its first Tang-colored president. Read more on McCain Frontrunner Status Will Make Lou Dobbs Our President…
 

Orange-Headed Anti-Mexican CNN Elitist Is Your New President!

Everyone loves orange-headed Space.com founder Lou Dobbs. After all, he has protected you from the Mexican. By hosting a teevee show about how he will stop the Terrible Mexicans, Lou Dobbs truly personifies America: He is a very rich person making millions of additional dollars every year saying things that make certain unemployed people feel angry. And then those angry unemployed people watch the commercials for denture slime or protections against home intruders or time-share offers or over-the-counter solutions to the heartbreak of incontinence. LOU DOBBS IS AMERICA. [Lou Dobbs For President] Read more on Orange-Headed Anti-Mexican CNN Elitist Is Your New President!…
 

Lou Dobbs, President of the United States

We forgot what Lou Dobbs was doing before he became a raving lunatic. We recall his orange hair, with Dobbs beneath it, hosting a show that was about economics or something. Now Dobbs, whose skin has gradually taken on the same light saber-esque glow as his coiffure, has become the of messiah of the anti-Mexican day-laborer movement. Since he’s on teevee and our country is filled with crazy people, Lou Dobbs may just run for president. Read more on Lou Dobbs, President of the United States…
 

Resolved: CNN’s Debate Coverage Must Die

The New York Observer‘s Steve Kornacki wrote maybe the best op-ed evarr yesterday slamming CNN’s entire promotion, pre-show, post-show and coverage of the last week’s Democratic debate. Wonkette liveblogged this debate and agrees wholeheartedly with Kornacki’s sentiment: “Once the gold standard for all-news television, the Cable News Network used the night to make a convincing argument that it should never again be entrusted with a presidential debate.” Read more on Resolved: CNN’s Debate Coverage Must Die…
 

Lou Dobbs, Caucus-Blocker

Lou Dobbs is right! The American people are ill-served by their representatives starting all these caucuses that represent them! Are we as a nation well-served by a Congress that created the Albanian Issues Caucus, the Congressional Asian Pacific American Caucus, the Congressional Black Caucus, the Organic Caucus, the Caucus on Indonesia, the Caucus on Swaziland, the Congressional Israel Allies Caucus or the Congressional Caucus on India and Indian Americans? Read more on Lou Dobbs, Caucus-Blocker…
 

The Funk of 40,000 Years

* Robert Novak will let you call him “angel tits” if you just buy his book. [Political Wire] * Real Christians know, “a Vote for Romney is a Vote for Satan.” [MoJo] * Tom Friedman thinks Americans are too smart to listen to anything Lou Dobbs says. [Passport] * John Murtha hates the war in Iraq, loves the war on drugs. [Hit & Run] * John Edwards promises $400 haircuts for every American. [Captain’s Quarters] * Jim Lehrer senility check: He refuses to “assume the president of the U..S is lying.” Yup, lost it. [Romenesko] * Dennis Kucinich will save the world if you’ll just say his fucking name right. [PrezVid] Read more on The Funk of 40,000 Years…
 

Lou Dobbs’ Job Being Outsourced To India

Meet the new Lou Dobbs: He’s still a smug, loud-mouthed Mexican-hating phony, but he’s also a Bangalore call-center worker. And instead of orange hair, he’s got normal brown hair. And he’s got an Indian accent — just listen to him roll those R’s when he says “America’s Broken Borders” 39 times per broadcast. Read more on Lou Dobbs’ Job Being Outsourced To India…
 

‘Guilt For History Hypothalamus’ Is The Largest Erogenous Zone

* Brain study of liberal Democrats in captivity discovers advanced development of the “bleeding heart lobe.” [Warst] * Alberto Gonzales “secret hiring order” printed in all caps, SO HE WOULDN’T FORGET. [TPM Muckracker] * Elizabeth Edwards sooo regrets not punching Jay Carney in the face last night. [Swampland] * Jon Voight says America has broken the honorary 28th amendment and “forgotten about 9/11.” [Newsbusters] * Rupert Murdoch plans to use awesome power for forces of good? [Grist] * Hamas’ “Death to America” Mouse has his show canceled. [JPost] * Is “Lou Dobbs the next Don Imus?” In our fucking dreams. [Stop the ACLU] Read more on ‘Guilt For History Hypothalamus’ Is The Largest Erogenous Zone…
 

Lou Dobbs: ‘I Won’t Let Jesus Protect Those Mexicans’

Orange-headed Space.com founder Lou Dobbs isn’t just hating on Mexicans today — he is taking the fight to God. Apparently God/Jesus is a helper of Mexicans — no coincidence, if you consider Jesus’ suspiciously Mexican-sounding name — and Dobbs has basically threatened to kill God/Jesus if there’s any “divine intervention” on behalf of the evil Mexicans. Dobbs writes: Read more on Lou Dobbs: ‘I Won’t Let Jesus Protect Those Mexicans’…
 

High On Life

* In Lou Dobbs’ “non-partisan independent reality” everyone has orange skin, sprayed on-hair, and the government is on the verge of invading Tijuana. [1115] * Street price of Ambien goes up as another Kennedy considers Congress. [NYP] * Paul W’s holy socks likely to be filled by a Bobert. [Passport] * Condi’s not looking to leave Iraq, ever. Charlie Rose isn’t looking to stop using that stupid curious face, ever. [Think Progress] * HuffPo commenters bring 14 pages of the funny on Ft. Dix “terror plot.” [HuffPo] * Monica Goodling gave Ashcroft the “titties are evil” idea. [TPM Muckraker] * Pelosi’s pork turns out to be the other white meat. [Media Matters] Read more on High On Life…
 

BREAKING: LOU DOBBS BECOMES A MEXICAN

Orange-headed Space.com founder Lou Dobbs has earned yet another honor: Now he’s a Mexican Journalist! Well, not really. He’s just a member of the “National Association of Hispanic Journalists.” And he didn’t “earn” the membership; he paid $5,000 for it. Read more on BREAKING: LOU DOBBS BECOMES A MEXICAN…
 

Rumors On The Internets: Overstand Your Place

* First day of the real Walnuts! campaign means first day of the “long awaited official McCain 2008 blog,” which of course, is over before it started with opening lines like, “As the Straight Talk Express pulled into Prescott Park, the crowd went wild.” [johnmccain dot com slash blog] * Hillary uses a “black-cent” when she talks to the blacks. [NY Post] * WHCA president doesn’t give a shit if you had fun at his dinner. [Romensko] * Michael Bloomberg says something glorious. [Political Wire] * Screw you Harry Reid — Dick Cheney’s approval rating is actually 29%. So there. [The Volokh Conspiracy] * Lou Dobbs has found the Illuminati behind the immigration crisis: local newspapers. [Passport] Read more on Rumors On The Internets: Overstand Your Place…
 

Gossip Roundup: Lou Dobbs, Protectionist

* Reliable Source: Jamie Foxx canceled his DC show and skipped his afterparty… Karl Rove’s “rapping” thing was funny if you were there, and drunk. [WP] * Yeas and Nays: Oh hey Donovan was here saying his crazy hippie nonsense at the Greek embassy… No one may touch the blinis until Lou Dobbs has had his… Happy birthday Gene McCarthy! Your principled-but-incompetent opposition to the Vietnam War cost the Democrats the rest of the 20th century. [Examiner] Read more on Gossip Roundup: Lou Dobbs, Protectionist…
 

Lou Dobbs Has So Many Anti-Mexican Superpowers

Orange-headed multi-millionaire Lou Dobbs of Space.com fame has already saved Americans from the Mexican Menace and returned manufacturing jobs, good education, middle-class salaries and patriotic dignity to a nation that was basically a 49-year-old obese Wal-Mart part-timer just months ago. What can Dobbs do next? Apparently he’s moving the border, the revived Middle Class and even some party-time “drug issues” to Mississippi and Washington, simultaneously! Read more on Lou Dobbs Has So Many Anti-Mexican Superpowers…
 

Rejoice, White America: KKK Makes a Comeback!

Just a few months ago, ex-Senator George Allen’s love for the Confederacy and outrageous racism seemed almost quaint. Macaca was like a bridge to the mid-19th Century … with Robert Byrd standing on the other shore, resplendent in his Exalted Cyclops dunce cap and flowing robes. But the KKK is back and better than ever! Learn how an old worn-out racist movement can “re-brand” itself for a New Era in which the main threat to white Americans is a Mexican guy picking strawberries for $5 an hour … after the jump. Read more on Rejoice, White America: KKK Makes a Comeback!…
 

!Bienvenidos a Mexico!

It’s official: The United States is now Mexican. Lou Dobbs was last seen throwing himself under a taco truck. Mmmm, tacos …. Página principal en GobiernoUSA.gov, el portal oficial del Gobierno de los EE. UU [GobiernoUSA] Read more on !Bienvenidos a Mexico!…
 

The Beloved Republican: Arnold Gives Health Care To California

This might be hard to fathom in DC these days, but in the nation’s most populous state — and the world’s 5th largest economy — Republican Governor Arnold Schwarzenegger has started his second term with massive approval ratings from just about everybody but fringe-right Republicans and the LA Times, which prefers that poor children die long painful deaths from easily treated illnesses. Read more on The Beloved Republican: Arnold Gives Health Care To California…
 

U.S. Border Fence Built By Illegal Aliens

Comedy routines once again became reality today when a California company agreed to pay a $5 million fine for employing illegal aliens to build the border fence between San Diego and Tijuana. Read more on U.S. Border Fence Built By Illegal Aliens…
 

Lou Dobbs Launches Jihad Against ‘Militant Fundamentalist Rabbi’

Hating on Mexicans and “Islamo-Fascists” every day might seem like a full-time job, but orange-headed Space.com-founder Lou Dobbs found time this holiday season to hate on an observant Jew, too. According to Populist Lou, a “militant fundamentalist rabbi” complained about all the Christmas trees at Seattle’s airport, and Christmas was ruined for Jesus-fearing white children throughout the Pacific Northwest. Read more on Lou Dobbs Launches Jihad Against ‘Militant Fundamentalist Rabbi’…