Tag: lou dobbs

Basil Marceaux Is Your New, Even Better Ernest J. Pagels, Jr.

When our friend Ernest J. Pagels, Jr., dropped out of his race for Senate earlier this week, we didn't know if we could ever love again. But you know what? The universe works in mysterious ways. It started with...

IS THIS A PROTEST FOR OR AGAINST THE LAW? "The conflict over a sweeping crackdown on illegal immigration in Arizona intensified Monday as vandals smeared refried beans in the shape of swastikas on the state Capitol's windows." No no...

Candy Crowley Is Your New John King!

John King! He is that CNN guy who hosts that thing, and he's married to whatsername! And now he is departing that thing to host some other thing, leaving behind a bleeding wound in the heart of CNN's Sunday...

Will Lou Dobbs Cast Tie-Breaking Vote For Immigration Reform?

Chuck Schumer has reached out to America's 101st Senator, Lou Dobbs, to help him write a bill about Mexicans. Now that Health Care is dead, Democrats have to find some other piece of legislation for Republicans to sink with...

Great Places To Shop For War On Xmas 2009: Dollar Stores In Portland

West Coast Xmas warrior operative "Katrina" sends this photo from a fancy dollar store in Portland, Oregon, which just so happens to be the epicenter of the entire War on Christmas. Here we have all the greatest gifts for...

Anti-Mexican Group Attacks Former Mexican-Hating Hero Lou Dobbs For Suddenly Claiming To Not Hate Mexicans That Much

Bloated pigsicle Lou Dobbs left his stupid CNN show (and its 14 viewers) because a Ghost Mexican (New Jersey deer hunter) shot a gun in the vicinity of Dobbs' acreage, and also because Lou Dobbs had somehow deluded himself...

OH FUCK OFF & DROP DEAD: "Former CNN anchor Lou Dobbs, pondering a future in politics, is trying to wipe away his image as an enemy of Latino immigrants by positioning himself as a champion of that fast-growing ethnic...

Dipshit Who Failed At TeeVee Now Maybe Running For … President

Orange-headed bulb-nosed Mexican-hating fruitbat Lou Dobbs has really only failed at two things: Being a successful television news anchor, and being a dot-com executive. But the Space.com/CNN loser is now aiming to fail on a truly epic scale: He...

Lou Dobbs And Bill O’Reilly Have Very Serious Discussion About Satan

Mexican deerhunting gang target and fat dunderhead Lou Dobbs went on Bill O'Reilly's show last night to discuss, let's see here, who gives a fuck. But skip ahead to :35 for a comical moment in which O'Reilly asks, dead...

Meet Your New Lou Dobbs: This John King Guy!

Everyone very politely say "hello" to John King, who will be taking over journalism now that Lou Dobbs is no longer with us. King's current gig is hosting State of the Union, which exists. According to Michael Calderone, one...

Lou Dobbs Quits CNN!

Check it out! Tonight was his last broadcast, as he announced on his last broadcast. God only knows what he is doing, he just keeps mumbling about how he will be charting a New Course, but it's got to...

No One On Television Has Ever Smoked Marijuana, It Is True

You may have seen this already, but goodness gracious, marijuana is the devil's weed and no one on CNN (or Barney Frank) has ever spent a nickel on it! This is very similar to how Washington pundits condemn anyone...

Questions Surround Lou Dobbs’ ‘The Taco-Eaters Shot My Wife’ Story

Racist television goblin Lou Dobbs revealed a very scary story earlier this week on his radio show (he's on the radio, too?). Three weeks earlier, he claimed, his New Jersey mansion was shot at while his wife was standing...

OH YES, HERE IS THAT THING YOU ALL SENT TO YOUR WONKETTE: Did you know you can make your own magical Kenyan Birth Certificate, for anybody, by going to a website? Yes You Can! Email your version to CNN...

CNN Stands By Lou Goebbels, 150%

High-frequency trading? Goldman Sachs? Ball's in your court, Taibbi. "You Want Context? Drudge Will Give You Context." And brain herpes! Joe Biden is such a golly liberal fascist, according to liberal fascist experts. The best part of RedState's furry...

Lou Dobbs So Crazy, It Makes ‘Media Matters’ Seem Kind of Funny!

Media Matters is, according to Lou Dobbs, "some kind of Mexican space alien, from Mexicans." But the liberal organization best known for sending out emails about how Fox News isn't liberal has finally done something kind of funny, by...