Tag Archives: lou dobbs

  sorry about your balls erick erickson

Megyn Kelly, U Mad? Oh Yeah, She Maaaaaaaad

We’ve been wondering what Megyn Kelly would have to say about Erick Erickson unaccountably getting the whole shaft for an entire panel’s worth of dickmouth about female breadwinners yesterday. Megyn Kelly is not stupid, nor is she a shrinking violet. While all the Fox “Democrat” ladies weighed in by last night, we were looking forward to Ol’ Megs. Does she disappoint? Nope. Feminazi nutbuster MEAN LADY. Read more on Megyn Kelly, U Mad? Oh Yeah, She Maaaaaaaad…
  but with that meatloaf in the oven there's no room for your head

All-Male Fox Panel On Female Breadwinners About What You Would Expect

Ladies, did you know that Fox News has finally admitted that there is a War on Women, and that War on Women is you having a job? Have you studied your science lately, which shows that Men must Dominate you? Most importantly, have you done your part in “dissolving society” today, by raising your children and also feeding them? Also, please stop having millions of bortions, because something something, we didn’t quite follow. We just have one of those easily dominated Girl Brains, after all. Read more on All-Male Fox Panel On Female Breadwinners About What You Would Expect…
  the meg whitman of new jersey

Mexican-Hating Lou Dobbs Employs Illegal Mexicans

Orange-headed Space.com founder and fired cable-news host Lou Dobbs was known for one thing during his long last years of anchoring a CNN show even dumber than Rick’s List: Lou Dobbs HATED the Mexicans. Oh man they drove him NUTS! And once CNN management decided Lou Dobbs was too awful even for CNN, Lou Dobbs decided that Evil Ghost Mexicans were attacking his house, with weaponry, and also he fantasized about being president or New Jersey’s anti-Mexican commissioner. What could possibly bring this swollen-faced grumblepuss back to the pages of Wonkette? He got caught hiring illegal aliens! Read more on Mexican-Hating Lou Dobbs Employs Illegal Mexicans…
  the oracle of tennessee

Basil Marceaux Is Your New, Even Better Ernest J. Pagels, Jr.

When our friend Ernest J. Pagels, Jr., dropped out of his race for Senate earlier this week, we didn’t know if we could ever love again. But you know what? The universe works in mysterious ways. It started with a simple e-mail subject line in our tips inbox: “It’s okay to laugh at the mentally impaired if they’re running for a public office, right?” Wonketters, you have a new 2010 election boyfriend. His name is Basil Marceaux, and he’s a Republican candidate for governor of Tennessee. Read more on Basil Marceaux Is Your New, Even Better Ernest J. Pagels, Jr….
  nation of self-parodies

IS THIS A PROTEST FOR OR AGAINST THE LAW? “The conflict over a sweeping crackdown on illegal immigration in Arizona intensified Monday as vandals smeared refried beans in the shape of swastikas on the state Capitol’s windows.” No no that was just Nazi Lou Dobbs playing with his poopy. UPDATE: We have replaced the funny actual image of Lou Dobbs with this one, of his poopy swastika. [AP/TPM] Read more on …
  this week in job news

Candy Crowley Is Your New John King!

John King! He is that CNN guy who hosts that thing, and he’s married to whatsername! And now he is departing that thing to host some other thing, leaving behind a bleeding wound in the heart of CNN’s Sunday morning programming. Naturally, this is all the fault of the orange-headed former Mexican-hating space entrepreneur, Lou Dobbs. Read more on Candy Crowley Is Your New John King!…
  ay yi yi yi

Will Lou Dobbs Cast Tie-Breaking Vote For Immigration Reform?

Chuck Schumer has reached out to America’s 101st Senator, Lou Dobbs, to help him write a bill about Mexicans. Now that Health Care is dead, Democrats have to find some other piece of legislation for Republicans to sink with their negative-18 vote supermajority. Immigration reform might do the trick, HENNGGHHH???? Especially with the implicit support of an orange-headed space mummy who was recently dumped by his boyfriend (ALIPAC) for hating Mexicans with newly insufficient zeal! Read more on Will Lou Dobbs Cast Tie-Breaking Vote For Immigration Reform?…
  the greatest time of all

Great Places To Shop For War On Xmas 2009: Dollar Stores In Portland

West Coast Xmas warrior operative “Katrina” sends this photo from a fancy dollar store in Portland, Oregon, which just so happens to be the epicenter of the entire War on Christmas. Here we have all the greatest gifts for children and adults and robots alike, and all for one dollar: stacks of Lou Dobbs’ book, 48 crayons, and the Bible on CD. (The Bible on CD is just code for “Porn on Blu Ray,” is the key!) Read more on Great Places To Shop For War On Xmas 2009: Dollar Stores In Portland…
  war of the racists

Anti-Mexican Group Attacks Former Mexican-Hating Hero Lou Dobbs For Suddenly Claiming To Not Hate Mexicans That Much

Bloated pigsicle Lou Dobbs left his stupid CNN show (and its 14 viewers) because a Ghost Mexican (New Jersey deer hunter) shot a gun in the vicinity of Dobbs’ acreage, and also because Lou Dobbs had somehow deluded himself into thinking there were people somewhere who gave a shit about him. But it turns out that repeating the jabbering lunacy of, say, a Glenn Beck or Sarah Palin does not make *you* a Glenn Beck or Sarah Palin if you aren’t a) on Fox News, or b) a person with tits. (Okay, that is not fair, Lou Dobbs probably has tits.) Anyway, the anti-Mexican Immigrant group that was Dobbs’ only constituency has dumped him, because now he claims not to hate Mexicans as much as he used to hate Mexicans. Read more on Anti-Mexican Group Attacks Former Mexican-Hating Hero Lou Dobbs For Suddenly Claiming To Not Hate Mexicans That Much…
  lou dobbs wants mexican do-over

OH FUCK OFF & DROP DEAD: “Former CNN anchor Lou Dobbs, pondering a future in politics, is trying to wipe away his image as an enemy of Latino immigrants by positioning himself as a champion of that fast-growing ethnic bloc.” [WSJ] Read more on …
  the kkk ticket will be strong in 2012

Dipshit Who Failed At TeeVee Now Maybe Running For … President

Orange-headed bulb-nosed Mexican-hating fruitbat Lou Dobbs has really only failed at two things: Being a successful television news anchor, and being a dot-com executive. But the Space.com/CNN loser is now aiming to fail on a truly epic scale: He wants to run for president!!! Oh please, Lou, run for president. You can Mexican-wrestle Sarah Palin for the nomination … whoops, never mind, at least Sarah Palin is *popular* with the wingnuts. [Politico] Read more on Dipshit Who Failed At TeeVee Now Maybe Running For … President…
  ban cable news

Lou Dobbs And Bill O’Reilly Have Very Serious Discussion About Satan

Mexican deerhunting gang target and fat dunderhead Lou Dobbs went on Bill O’Reilly’s show last night to discuss, let’s see here, who gives a fuck. But skip ahead to :35 for a comical moment in which O’Reilly asks, dead seriously and out of nowhere, “Is Barack Obama the Devil?” Lou Dobbs doesn’t miss a beat and immediately begins his meandering answer, with utter Seriousness. This is a conversation between two theoretically self-aware adult humans! Read more on Lou Dobbs And Bill O’Reilly Have Very Serious Discussion About Satan…
  ch-ch-ch-changes

Meet Your New Lou Dobbs: This John King Guy!

Everyone very politely say “hello” to John King, who will be taking over journalism now that Lou Dobbs is no longer with us. King’s current gig is hosting State of the Union, which exists. According to Michael Calderone, one of “the good ones” at POLITICO: “The move reflects the network’s stated ambitions to be viewed as non-partisan in the evenings, as opposed to MSNBC and Fox, which boasts more outspoken commentators on the left and right.” However, Lou Dobbs will secretly stay on as Legitimate John King. [Michael Calderone] Read more on Meet Your New Lou Dobbs: This John King Guy!…
  still not watching CNN

Lou Dobbs Quits CNN!

Check it out! Tonight was his last broadcast, as he announced on his last broadcast. God only knows what he is doing, he just keeps mumbling about how he will be charting a New Course, but it’s got to have something to do with Mexicans. (Or rather, “at Mexicans?”) This is the biggest news since Sarah Palin. All we know is that he delivered this news before an American flag, so maybe he’s going there. UPDATE: New York Times, with the predictable scoop! “Months ago the president of CNN/U.S., Jonathan Klein, spelled out two options for Lou Dobbs, the channel’s most outspoken anchor. Mr. Dobbs could vent his opinions on radio and anchor an objective newscast on television, or he could leave CNN altogether.” [YouTube, NYT] Read more on Lou Dobbs Quits CNN!…
  loco lou dobbs

No One On Television Has Ever Smoked Marijuana, It Is True

You may have seen this already, but goodness gracious, marijuana is the devil’s weed and no one on CNN (or Barney Frank) has ever spent a nickel on it! This is very similar to how Washington pundits condemn anyone for ever having sex — including David Letterman, and he’s in New York City! — unless it is fully clothed and for the purpose of procreation. [YouTube] Read more on No One On Television Has Ever Smoked Marijuana, It Is True…
  the battle for the soul of this country

Questions Surround Lou Dobbs’ ‘The Taco-Eaters Shot My Wife’ Story

Racist television goblin Lou Dobbs revealed a very scary story earlier this week on his radio show (he’s on the radio, too?). Three weeks earlier, he claimed, his New Jersey mansion was shot at while his wife was standing outside, and this came after “weeks and weeks of threatening phone calls.” Never one to rush to judgment about anything, Lou Dobbs… immediately started freaking out about Mexicans and Mexican-supporting liberals again, adding, tastelessly, for ratings, “if anybody thinks that we’re not engaged in the battle for the soul of this country right now, you’re sorely mistaken.” We don’t really know how some douche or another hitting Lou Dobbs’ mansion with a bullet is indicative of a “battle for the soul of this country,” but we do know that “battle for the soul of this country” is not very tension-defusing rhetoric. Especially when there are still many, many questions about the nature of the incident! Read more on Questions Surround Lou Dobbs’ ‘The Taco-Eaters Shot My Wife’ Story…
  cnn is birthers

OH YES, HERE IS THAT THING YOU ALL SENT TO YOUR WONKETTE: Did you know you can make your own magical Kenyan Birth Certificate, for anybody, by going to a website? Yes You Can! Email your version to CNN racist Lou Dobbs. [Kenyan Birth Certificate Generator] Read more on …
  rumors on the internets

CNN Stands By Lou Goebbels, 150%

High-frequency trading? Goldman Sachs? Ball’s in your court, Taibbi. [Matt Yglesias] “You Want Context? Drudge Will Give You Context.” And brain herpes! [Weekly Standard] Joe Biden is such a golly liberal fascist, according to liberal fascist experts. [USA Today] Read more on CNN Stands By Lou Goebbels, 150%…
  everybody is birthers!

Lou Dobbs So Crazy, It Makes ‘Media Matters’ Seem Kind of Funny!

Media Matters is, according to Lou Dobbs, “some kind of Mexican space alien, from Mexicans.” But the liberal organization best known for sending out emails about how Fox News isn’t liberal has finally done something kind of funny, by purchasing commercial time on orange-headed blubbermouth Lou Dobbs’ afternoon comedy hour, White Supremacy For Angry Dummies. Read more on Lou Dobbs So Crazy, It Makes ‘Media Matters’ Seem Kind of Funny!…
  email of the day

Wonkette Joins Lou Dobbs & Michele Bachmann as Proponents of the Birther Conspiracy

People are finally figuring out the Wonkette — it not only thinks everything is so funny, but it is also cleverly propagating the most vile conspiracy of our Time, that Barack Obama was actually not born at all. He was not born! There, we said it. We don’t care if Robert Gibbs personally milks a gallon of “DNA” from Nobama and shows it on the teevee, there is literally no proof, long form or short term, that Barack Obama was born. Our Constitution says PRESIDENT MUST BE BORN, PERIOD. We think this is the 15th or 2nd amendment. So thank you, “Brian M.,” for figuring out Wonkette is birthers. Read more on Wonkette Joins Lou Dobbs & Michele Bachmann as Proponents of the Birther Conspiracy…
  republicans in the news

Whoa Hey, the FreeRepublic Website Is Overthrowing the U.S. Government

This would be terrifying if it wasn’t about some lamer old wingnuts and their message board: The person who runs FreeRepublic.com is cold gonna overthrow the U.S. government — that means you, blackenstein — and ho ho, no more taxes on the millionaires! Hooray! Anyway, folks, things are getting Seriously Weird with the wingnuts, birthers, paultards and other middle-aged white suckers who bought into that whole Reagan thing 30 years ago and, whoops, are still poor and doomed. Read more on Whoa Hey, the FreeRepublic Website Is Overthrowing the U.S. Government…