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Posts Tagged ‘losers’

NASA Won’t Blow Up New Spaceship Until 2014

Tuesday, August 12th, 2008

That's no moon, that's a space station!NASA, which means FAIL in the Moon Man language, has announced the doomed zillion-dollar replacement for the rust-bucket death-trap space shuttles that haven’t yet blown up won’t be ready until at least September of 2014, which means “never” in the Moon Man language. MORE »


Was Bush Falling Down Drunk At Olympics?

Tuesday, August 12th, 2008

Here comes a regular.
George W. Bush wasn’t just dripping sweat while acting like a lunatic at the Olympics — he also couldn’t actually stand up on his own. Jesus! See the creepy close-up, after the jump. MORE »


Sales Of ‘People’ Magazine With Obama On The Cover Just Kind Of Average

Friday, August 1st, 2008

Losers, allZOMG has Barack Obama lost his MOMENTUM??? The megastar celebrity appeared on the cover of People last week, and sales actually DIPPED by 50,000 copies. If Barack Obama cannot stimulate enough reader interest to keep circulation at a healthy 1.45 million copies per week, is he really qualified for the highest office in the land? [New York Post]


David Axelrod Lies Hilariously About Patti Solis Doyle Hiring Blowback

Wednesday, July 30th, 2008

'I had no idea this notorious loser was so despised.'By March or April or whenever it was that she got fired, everybody knew that Patti Solis Doyle was personally responsible for every single thing that went wrong with the Clinton campaign, except for the things Mark Penn and Bill Clinton and the candidate herself and even Harold Ickes were responsible for. Ms. Doyle was banished to her native Chicago uranium mines with only her public humiliation to keep her company, until the Obama campaign hired her, with predictable results: the Clinton people went insane with rage. MORE »


GOP Candidates Skipping St. Paul, Don’t Want To Be Seen With Bush Or McCain

Tuesday, July 29th, 2008

Huggz!Say you’re a Republican incumbent, or maybe you’re the GOP candidate trying to take over a lucrative Senate or House seat for a retiring Republican. You would want to go to the big Republican Convention and bask in the successful glow of the GOP candidate for president, not to mention the outgoing Republican president who served two exciting terms, right? Wrong. You stay home, to avoid the stench of loserdom. MORE »


Friday, July 25th, 2008

Faggot?MAIN STREAM MEDIAS: Here, after we’re already bored of the story, are 53 news articles about the mill worker John Edwards and his weird Beverly Hills hotel bathroom adventure and “Rielle Hunter” and Adultery and bastard children. [Google News]


Somehow John McCain Is Basically Tied With Barack Obama

Thursday, July 24th, 2008

For Christ’s sake, Walnuts, you’re making it too easy: “He tells reporters in a Columbus, Ohio German restaurant he’d love to give a speech in Germany. ‘But I’d much prefer to do it as president of the United States rather than as a candidate for president.’” Maybe he could’ve DONE ANYTHING ELSE besides this, during Obama’s speech? WATCHING IT AT A GERMAN RESTAURANT IN OHIO? WHINING? Take a nap, my friend. [The Page]


Bobby Jindal Refuses To Lose With McCain

Wednesday, July 23rd, 2008

Little weirdo and amateur devil exorcist Bobby Jindal will NOT be John McCain’s losing vice-presidential candidate, the scrawny character announced today after the terrible HURRICANE destroyed the last hopes of McCain’s campaign. “I’m not going to be the vice presidential nominee or vice president,” Jindal said at a news conference to announce the cancellation of other news conferences. “I’m going to help Senator McCain get elected, as governor of Louisiana. Let me be clear: I have said in every private and public conversation, I’ve got the job that I want.” Back to you, Mitt. [CNN Political Ticker]