Hillary Clinton, that elitist former president and Ivy League feminazi, has "found her voice" with these old gals in West Virginia. Preach it, Hilz! Only black people are angry/poor, and you know what they're doing, with the hip-hop/Ivy League vote! [AP Photo]
McCAIN CAMPAIGN DUMPS DOUG GOODYEAR: "The PR executive John McCain just tapped to help run the GOP convention quit today after a report that his firm once represented the Burmese junta that is now doing little to relieve its people from the devastation incurred by this week's cyclone." [Politico]
She really will continue campaigning until she actually dies, in 2027. The latest (and seemingly final) nail in the coffin of Hillary Clinton's Presidential Campaign comes from ABC News, which has done the "hard math" and confirmed that Mrs. Clinton has now also lost the superdelegate contest. Let's make a fun-filled, easy-to-read list of writing on the wall, after the jump.
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Loser pill-head Rush Limbaugh has an AM radio show during the daytime. His audience of bitter old white retirees and home-appliance repairmen was instructed to go out en masse and vote for Hillary in open primaries, so that liberal Latino-American John McCain could at least have a small chance of winning in November. But it totally failed, so now Limbaugh is suddenly pretending he really wanted his listeners to vote for the black guy.
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From showbiz magazine Entertainment Weekly, here is an actor named "Josh Brolin" just after he got the sad news that he has to play the "Will Farrell" character in Oliver Stone's new movie about the George W. Bush Jr. assassination cover-up. [EW]
NO RETREAT, BABY, NO SURRENDER: "Upon more questioning, the campaign advisers acknowledged some hard truths. Even if the Florida and Michigan delegations were seated, it would not be enough for a win. The financial health of the campaign appeared grim — Mrs. Clinton loaned herself $6 million last month, and she is prepared to donate more. And if there was good news to share about overnight on-line fund-raising totals, Mr. Wolfson did not mention it." [New York Times]
Tragic liberal presidential candidate George McGovern lost horribly to Richard Nixon in 1972 and then became an Elder Statesman and endorsed Hillary Clinton like all the other Elder Statesmen in 2007. But now it is 2008, so it is time for Hillary to go under the bus along with Tom Eagleton. George McGovern officially hearts Barack Obama, the McGovern of the 21st Century!
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AMERICA IS THE NEW SPAIN! Now that even Newsweek is admitting the United States is finished as a world leader of anything beyond nacho-cheese-sauce consumption and MySpace profiles of fat gals, who will bravely lead America's decline and collapse? [Political Machine]
Despite the real issues facing Americans — have you heard about this old black man Jeremiah Wright? — the 2008 candidate with the biggest political liability is John McCain, who loves George W. Bush more than anything.
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DEMOCRATS LOVE TO LOSE: So Barack Obama has won "the battle for congressional superdelegates," but just enough of them in the House and Senate are keeping quiet for a few more weeks, to give McCain a real shot at this thing. [Politico]
Dorkus W. Dildo had a press conference today, in his garden. He is very rich and has an entire hospital to attend to him and bombs anything that makes him confused and no matter what crime he does, he never gets sent to prison, so he is exactly like ordinary poor Americans like you. Bush Junior has heard about how maybe the "economic" is a problem, so he told those losers who still have to act like he's important — you know, the White House correspondents — that he "figured out" what was wrong and guess what, it's Congress, which has Democrats.
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Ancient midget John McCain is the "presumptive GOP nominee," which is why he continues to struggle in Republican state primaries that nobody else is really paying attention to, because of the Obama-Hillary wrasslin' match. Last night, the angry old man won just 72.7% of the GOP vote. Mike Huckabee, who dropped out of the race several years ago, still managed an impressive 11.4% — "impressive" to losers like Guiliani and Thompson, at least! But you'll never guess who came in second place last night.
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New York Times columnist Thomas Friedman wrote a decent book many years ago and has since made a living by promoting the Iraq War, going on sabbatical, and coming up with useless concepts like these: "the world is flat," "a Lexus is like an olive tree, in that both are on my book cover," and "I used my NYT corporate Amex credit card to buy a trinket from this Pakistani, which I'll conflate into a hackneyed worldview cliche." This modern day soothsayer spoke to some kids at Brown University last night about the environment and got pelted with green pies, which is what happens in the Global Marketplace of Ideas.
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