Tag: los angeles

Stoners Do Good, Save All The Homelesses In Colorado With Their Pot Tax Dollars

Instead of paying money to send people to jail for possession, Aurora, Colorado is taxing it and then doing good stuff with the money.

Donald Trump Rises Firm And Hard To Sue Artist Who Painted Him With Itty-Bitty Peener

If you've haunted the Interwebs regularly, you've probably already seen Los Angeles artist Illma Gore's now-infamous painting of a nude Donald Trump as a would-be emperor (and a less than impressively endowed one, at that) with no clothes on...

Gwyneth Paltrow Wants To Put Bee Poison On Her Face: Your Snake Oil Bulletin!

Greetings, Pilgrims. We welcome you to the hallowed ground of this, the Snake Oil Bulletin. You've come just in time for the Cleansing of Impurities. Get on your knees, strap that basket to your head, and prepare yourself for...

California Dude Whips Out Snake In Restaurant. No, Like An Actual Non-Penis Snake

We talk a lot about Florida Man in this here news business, but our old friend California Man is also pretty impressive when it comes to crazy. So what's the latest in California Man's world? Oh, y'know. Just vengefully...

Denny’s Admits Making Black Customers Prepay Was No Grand Slam

Normally, the most offensive thing associated with Denny's is literally any menu item served at Denny's, but this is an auspicious occasion. See, on Feb. 5, Denny's settled a lawsuit over one location's attempt to make two African-American customers prepay for their...

More Stories Of Incredibly Stupid Restaurant Customers

Welcome back to Off The Menu, where we bring you the best and strangest food stories from my email inbox. Today, we've got one of the classics: stories of fantastically dumb restaurant customers. As always, these are real emails...
ooh, red eyes!!

One Million Moms Furious Olive Garden BFFs With Satan Now

Oh hey, look, One Million Moms, aka Seventeen Angry Dipsticks, is back! They're still mad about Fox's TV show "Lucifer," like they were before, but now they have a new target: Olive Garden, which sponsors the show. If you're not familiar...
Fame and fortune except the fortune part.

Wonkette’s Evan Hurst Is World-Famous In Memphis: A Story By Evan Hurst

Oh hi, do you know me? I am one of your Wonkettes, and I am the most famous person in the universe. I am taking a break from having brunch with Taylor Swift, saying "Oh no she di'int" about...
Lesbian outlaws

Lesbians Terrorize Hawaii Supermarket With Kisses, Lesbianism

Same old story. Go on Hawaiian vacation, go to grocery store with lesbian lover lady, research various melons (the produce kind, not each other's), kiss lesbian lover on cheek, end up in jail for a couple days for allegedly...
RNC Chair Reince Priebus

Dear RNC: Stop Bitching About Last Night’s Debate Questions. You Sound Like A Idiot.

Wednesday night's (very dumb) CNBC Republican debate had barely ended before the RNC and individual campaigns were whining and kvetching -- to reporters, their moms, to Pinterest, and everywhere else -- that the questions were SO MUCH UNFAIRNESS to the brilliant...

Hello, Los Angeles. Won’t You Buy A Girl And Her Husband And Her Official Wonkette Baby A Drink?

Los Angeles, we are to home to you! Currently? Overnighting in an alley behind Wonker Paula's Burbank craft-soap factory, and life couldn't be sweeter! (Or more clean.) Tonight you will come and sing sweet songs of home with us...

1000 To One Odds Our Vegas Party Sunday Will Be A Rocking Good Time

San Francisco, did you know you've been added to the Wonkette Wonkebago Fall 2015 Itinerant Panhandling Tour and Grifterthon? Las Vegas, join us Sunday (tomorrow? today?), Oct. 25, at the Summerlin, Nevada, home of Wonkers Frances and Don, and...

Wonkette Smearing Its Big Love On Salt Lake City Tomorrow! (Or Tonight!)

Salt Lake City, comin' atcha! We shall invade your Drinking Liberally, as is our wont, and in exchange for letting us annex you, we shall buy you pitchers of your silly low-test beer tomorrow (or tonight?), anyway, Friday. BUT...

A Ridiculous Amount Of Notice For You, So Cal, To Put On Your Drinkin’ And Wonkin’ Shoes

San Diego! Orange County! Los Angeles! Las Vegas! Maybe Utah! We are hereby giving you a dumb amount of notice that we will be buying you beers and/or grilling you tofurkey (you bring the tofurkey), NEXT WEEK AND THEREAFTER....
This screengrab is so mean, but why not?

John Kasich: Don’t Worry, I Leave Mexican Doctors A Little Tip Too!

Republican presidential candidate John "The Moderate One" Kasich raised the ire of yr Wonkette, and also probably all Latino voters who ever lived, by asserting last week that, unlike that Donald Trump character, he cherishes the Mexican Spanishes: “A lot of...
Basically Tim Pawlenty with slightly more experience. Whatever happened to T-Paw anyway?

John Kasich Big Fan Of Hispanic Ladies Who Clean His Hotel Room

Remind us again: Are we supposed to pretend Ohio Gov. John Kasich is one of the cuddly not-so-bad Republican presidential candidates? It's so hard to keep track these days of who the Serious Candidates are. Kasich did reluctantly allow the...