Tag: los angeles

Denny’s Admits Making Black Customers Prepay Was No Grand Slam

Normally, the most offensive thing associated with Denny's is literally any menu item served at Denny's, but this is an auspicious occasion. See, on Feb. 5, Denny's settled a lawsuit over one location's attempt to make two African-American customers prepay for their...

More Stories Of Incredibly Stupid Restaurant Customers

Welcome back to Off The Menu, where we bring you the best and strangest food stories from my email inbox. Today, we've got one of the classics: stories of fantastically dumb restaurant customers. As always, these are real emails...
ooh, red eyes!!

One Million Moms Furious Olive Garden BFFs With Satan Now

Oh hey, look, One Million Moms, aka Seventeen Angry Dipsticks, is back! They're still mad about Fox's TV show "Lucifer," like they were before, but now they have a new target: Olive Garden, which sponsors the show. If you're not familiar...
Fame and fortune except the fortune part.

Wonkette’s Evan Hurst Is World-Famous In Memphis: A Story By Evan Hurst

Oh hi, do you know me? I am one of your Wonkettes, and I am the most famous person in the universe. I am taking a break from having brunch with Taylor Swift, saying "Oh no she di'int" about...
Lesbian outlaws

Lesbians Terrorize Hawaii Supermarket With Kisses, Lesbianism

Same old story. Go on Hawaiian vacation, go to grocery store with lesbian lover lady, research various melons (the produce kind, not each other's), kiss lesbian lover on cheek, end up in jail for a couple days for allegedly...
RNC Chair Reince Priebus

Dear RNC: Stop Bitching About Last Night’s Debate Questions. You Sound Like A Idiot.

Wednesday night's (very dumb) CNBC Republican debate had barely ended before the RNC and individual campaigns were whining and kvetching -- to reporters, their moms, to Pinterest, and everywhere else -- that the questions were SO MUCH UNFAIRNESS to the brilliant...

Hello, Los Angeles. Won’t You Buy A Girl And Her Husband And Her Official Wonkette Baby A Drink?

Los Angeles, we are to home to you! Currently? Overnighting in an alley behind Wonker Paula's Burbank craft-soap factory, and life couldn't be sweeter! (Or more clean.) Tonight you will come and sing sweet songs of home with us...

1000 To One Odds Our Vegas Party Sunday Will Be A Rocking Good Time

San Francisco, did you know you've been added to the Wonkette Wonkebago Fall 2015 Itinerant Panhandling Tour and Grifterthon? Las Vegas, join us Sunday (tomorrow? today?), Oct. 25, at the Summerlin, Nevada, home of Wonkers Frances and Don, and...

Wonkette Smearing Its Big Love On Salt Lake City Tomorrow! (Or Tonight!)

Salt Lake City, comin' atcha! We shall invade your Drinking Liberally, as is our wont, and in exchange for letting us annex you, we shall buy you pitchers of your silly low-test beer tomorrow (or tonight?), anyway, Friday. BUT...

A Ridiculous Amount Of Notice For You, So Cal, To Put On Your Drinkin’ And Wonkin’ Shoes

San Diego! Orange County! Los Angeles! Las Vegas! Maybe Utah! We are hereby giving you a dumb amount of notice that we will be buying you beers and/or grilling you tofurkey (you bring the tofurkey), NEXT WEEK AND THEREAFTER....
This screengrab is so mean, but why not?

John Kasich: Don’t Worry, I Leave Mexican Doctors A Little Tip Too!

Republican presidential candidate John "The Moderate One" Kasich raised the ire of yr Wonkette, and also probably all Latino voters who ever lived, by asserting last week that, unlike that Donald Trump character, he cherishes the Mexican Spanishes: “A lot of...
Basically Tim Pawlenty with slightly more experience. Whatever happened to T-Paw anyway?

John Kasich Big Fan Of Hispanic Ladies Who Clean His Hotel Room

Remind us again: Are we supposed to pretend Ohio Gov. John Kasich is one of the cuddly not-so-bad Republican presidential candidates? It's so hard to keep track these days of who the Serious Candidates are. Kasich did reluctantly allow the...
A power bottom for your gay love, and also your dollars.

Help Us Name The World’s First Ted Cruz Hardcore Gay Porn Flick, Starring Ted Cruz!

This thing. You have seen it? It's a real thing, and Ted Cruz is not embarrassed by it! In fact, he's such a fucking know-nothing that he thinks it's COOL. In fact, he thinks it's so cool that he's selling...
Unfair! Ted Cruz is much easier to hit with sticks! So Biased!

Donald Trump Wishes We’d Invaded Mexico For Doing 9/11, Maybe

The Great American Hairball, Donald Trump, reportedly offered an amusing variation this weekend on his longstanding view that the Iraq War was a huge, not-classy mistake. At a meeting of the conservative Hollywood group "Friends of Abe" (Lincoln, not Vigoda),...

The Snake Oil Bulletin: Anti-Vaxxer Death Squads Will Set Us Free

Welcome back, folks! It's time again for the Snake Oil Bulletin, your weekly guide for all the hottest tips and tricks to feng shui your crystals into an alignment more conducive for your chakral energy surges. Y'know, bullshit. We've...
Joe Friday has had enough of this shit.

LAPD Probably Fully Justified In Shooting Homeless Guy As He Lay Prone On Ground, Says LAPD

Sunday was a lovely day in Los Angeles, unless you were the homeless guy on downtown’s Skid Row scuffling with LAPD officers who shot and killed you while holding you down on the sidewalk. Then maybe your day was...