Did you know that you can help reduce carbon emissions simply by standing with your hand on a ketchup dispenser for two minutes? It’s true! New video footage proves it! Witness the stunning impact a squadron of brave mimes had yesterday on the denizens of the Longworth Cafeteria, who spent upwards of several seconds wondering why some dude was just STANDING by their table before returning to their very important conversation about baseball or whatever. Somewhere in heaven, Al Gore is smiling. [YouTube]

Flash mob, you guys! Cryptic playing card mementos, just like the Joker used! What’s it all add up to? A very urgent Citizen Effort to halt climate change, taking place at your local Longworth cafeteria in, hmm, 45 minutes or so. MORE »

• CAFETERIA BOYCOTT CALLED OFF, DORIS IS BACK: A Restaurant Associates representative sent out an email heralding the news, Roll Call reports that Doris showed up for work this morning, so…hurrah, justice prevails or something. [Roll Call]

Congressional staffers all love Doris, a cashier who has worked in the Longworth Cafeteria since the beginning of time. Rumor has it that she was suspended on Wednesday because her register was $9 short. Some concerned citizens “hope to join in a show of support for Doris by boycotting the cafeterias. Since all the cafeterias are owned by the Restaurant Associates we ask that you avoid all of them that day, but we realize that’s difficult during a day we’re in session. Please, if nothing else avoid Longworth.” Do your part, people! Support Doris and pack a lunch. [Capitolist]

Yesterday we shared with you several sightings of the Bush twins, in the provocatively titled “Wonk’d: Barbara Bush’s Full-Frontal Body Rub.”

Today we bring you sightings of, well, everyone else. You can check them out — including a sweaty Chuck Schumer (don’t say we didn’t warn you!) — after the jump.

Please continue to send us your sightings, by email, with either “Wonk’d” or “Sighting” in the subject line. Thanks!

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Hey, at least one House employee listened to our demand that you send us vulgarisms while yer supposed to be working: MORE »