Tag Archives: london

  Wonkette stays on top of Aaron Schock

Aaron Schock Hires Nice Lawyers To Fix All His Not-Gay Ethics Violations

Oh, Aaron Schock, we have so missed reporting on you for the last three days or so! But we are back, because things continue to go poorly for you, you dumb, cuddly animal, and we promise we will not leave your side again, as long as you keep doing dumb, cuddly things. Read more on Aaron Schock Hires Nice Lawyers To Fix All His Not-Gay Ethics Violations…
  Your Morning Maddow

Morning Maddow: Jeb Bush’s Website Violates Everybody’s Privacy, Oops (Video)

Oh, those fabulous Bushes
Rachel Maddow loves the Bush family almost as much as we do. Especially their talent for putting their foot in it, as President George H.W. Bush did when he seemed amazed by a supermarket scanner during his 1992 reelection campaign. Supposedly, he was amazed not by the scanner itself, but by its advanced features, like being able to read torn labels, but mostly, she says, it just looked like he was unfamiliar with the “fundamental basics of peasant life, like how you pay for stuff at the store.” Read more on Morning Maddow: Jeb Bush’s Website Violates Everybody’s Privacy, Oops (Video)…
  Origin Of Sheeshes

Scott Walker Way Too Smart To Answer Whether Evolution Is A Thing

Hey, what do I know?
While visiting London “The one in England” England Wednesday, Wisconsin Gov. Scott Walker was asked if he thinks the theory of evolution is true. Apparently unable to remember the Republican Magic Words “I’m not a scientist, man,” he instead replied “I’m going to punt on that one,” adding that an established scientific theory that’s taught in universities and high schools worldwide is “a question a politician shouldn’t be involved in one way or another.” Or maybe he just didn’t get that far at Marquette University before he dropped out of college. Read more on Scott Walker Way Too Smart To Answer Whether Evolution Is A Thing…
  Your Morning Maddow

Morning Maddow: The GOP Has Vax-In-Mouth Disease

Chris Christie had no comment on this screenshot
Rachel Maddow brings us Day Two of Republicans trying to figure out whether they believe in vaccinations against deadly diseases. In London, Chris Christie apparently took seriously her Monday piece about the curse of American politicians saying dumb things when they went to that city, because he refused to talk to reporters all day Tuesday, and not just about vaccinations. About anything. Read more on Morning Maddow: The GOP Has Vax-In-Mouth Disease…
  Your Morning Maddow

Morning Maddow: Chris Christie’s Half-Vaxed London Comments (Video)

Don't Talk about MI6, Mitt!
Rachel Maddow had far too much fun Monday recounting all the times American presidential candidates have made asses of themselves while visiting London. Actually, 80 percent of those times involved Mitt Romney’s single disastrous visit, but it sure set the template. Read more on Morning Maddow: Chris Christie’s Half-Vaxed London Comments (Video)…
  Just try yelling at measles

Chris Christie/Jenny McCarthy 2016

Thank goodness you can't get Ebola from spittle
New Jersey Gov. Chris Christie said Monday that public health policy needs to find a “balance” between the need to protect the public and parents who don’t know shit about science. This comes less than four months after Christie slapped a completely healthy nurse into a quarantine tent because she’d been treating Ebola patients. Read more on Chris Christie/Jenny McCarthy 2016…
  If It Was Easy Then It Wouldn't Feel This Good

Luxury London Apartment Ad Wants To Stab You, Play Around With Your Blood

Yr Wonkette  has been considering a move into high-end real estate as a way of diversifying our portfolio, which is currently a little heavy on dick joke manufacturing and political scandal futures. From the looks of this long-form commercial, “World At Your Feet,” from British luxury apartment purveyor Redrow Housing, our first step is to decide: where does today’s refined and ambitious covert psychotic killer want to live? Read more on Luxury London Apartment Ad Wants To Stab You, Play Around With Your Blood…
  congrats!

British People Really Getting Good At Treating Homeless People Terribly

We always assume that the Brits are just more civilized than we are, what with their tea and crumpets and socialized health care, so we’re kinda depressed to find out that they can be terrible insensitive fuckfaces about things like homelessness. Witness this block of flats (that’s British-talk for apartments, we think) in central London that put big metal spikes in the ground to stop homeless people from sleeping there. Seriously, what the fuck, posh British people. Read more on British People Really Getting Good At Treating Homeless People Terribly…
  Spot of Bother

Veep Recap: A Field Trip To Merry Olde England

Amy’s got Machiavellian skillz to pay the proverbial billz, Selina wears a silly hat, and Dan’s heart literally (figuratively) explodes in his chest on this week’s episode of Veep. The whole episode takes place in Jollye Olde Englande, and if you were hoping to hear Jonah’s version of a Cockney accent, you are in so much luck! Veep recap, ahoy! Read more on Veep Recap: A Field Trip To Merry Olde England…
  not the way they want to see him hanging

Twitchy And Stupidest Man On Internet Perturbed By Obama’s Graven Image In London Embassy

Here’s today’s entry in the Obama’s America Is Just Like North Korea sweepstakes: Stupidest Man on the Internet Jim Hoft is disgusted by the decorating decisions that Barack Obama has personally made for the U.S. Embassy in London. Following up on a Twitchy story about a fairly bland tweet from the embassy, Hoft’s headline leaves no doubt of Obama’s maniacal self-aggrandizement: “CREEPY! Selfie President Inserts Himself Between Washington and Lincoln” Yep, that’s one scary image, there: a tapestry of the POTUS, hanging on a side wall of a meeting room in the Embassy. God, it’s like an altar or something!!! Cult of personality! Do the embassy officials have to sing a song of praise to The One every morning? Read more on Twitchy And Stupidest Man On Internet Perturbed By Obama’s Graven Image In London Embassy…
  give us free parking or give us death

We Will Never Pay The British One Red Cent For Parking Because We Are Proud Americans

So if you live in London like a fancy ponce-y British person it will cost you approximately one squidzillion dollars to park and drive there thanks to congestion costs and a general principle that you shouldn’t fucking drive in London, thankyewverymuch. Unless you’re an American diplomat, in which case you are like naw mang, good luck making me pay for anything. If you are Hillz, you stone cold try to muscle the parking people out of the way so they can’t give you a ticket, because let’s face it — she killed Vince Foster over much much less. Read more on We Will Never Pay The British One Red Cent For Parking Because We Are Proud Americans…
  cool story hansel

London Mayor Kills The Malaysian Prime Minister (With ‘Jokes’)

Hey ladies! Are you looking to go to college, Lean In, and really get ahead in this world? Perhaps you are from a predominantly Muslim country and you are trying to break glass ceilings over there so we don’t have to break glass ceilings over here, something something mixed metaphors. Well, if you are one of those women in Malaysia who will make up 68% of the incoming college class, the Mayor of London is so glad that you are looking to the University system to find a suitable husband for yourself. Via Raw Story: The Mayor of London, Boris Johnson, has been accused of casual sexism after joking that the increase in the number of women attending university in Malaysia was down to their desire to find a husband. HAHAHA, its so funny and awesome to belittle women in foreign countries who may be seeking to make a better life for themselves. Because everyone knows that women only go to college to find husbands who can take care of them, amirite ladies! And who better for Mayor Johnson to say this to than the Malaysian Prime Minister, while also probably inviting him to derelicte … his balls. Let’s sexplore.  Read more on London Mayor Kills The Malaysian Prime Minister (With ‘Jokes’)…
  Mitt Tried To Warn Us About Them Soviets

Obama Thinks We Should Have Fewer Apocalyptic Nuclear Death Toys, Can You Guess Who Disagrees?

Germany is Europe’s Brooklyn’s Williamsburg before Williamsburg got too Williamsburg: good beer, they make cool stuff, not too expensive. So it’s not surprising that budget-conscious culture vulture Barack Obama wanted to pop in and thrill a few legs after another lame G8 summit in London where everybody was so “concerned” about everything and oh look at us, our economies are big. Get over yourselves, said our flashy president, maybe we can hook up in Berlin for the after-party. Which was cool, there was a speech, it was hot, the crowd was not huge, and Obama said he wants to reduce our nuclear arsenal by a third. WHAT?!?!?! MADNESS!!!!!!, was the typical GOP response, because, uh, Obama! is bad. What he said, BAD! Also. Read more on Obama Thinks We Should Have Fewer Apocalyptic Nuclear Death Toys, Can You Guess Who Disagrees?…
  battle of who could care less

Piers Morgan Responds To London Terror Killing By Uninviting Dana Loesch From His Birthday Party

In a concrete demonstration of what happens when insufferable jerkbag meets irredeemable boor, Dana Loesch and Piers Morgan had themselves a big ol’ Twitter fight Wednesday, the occasion being Loesch’s tweet in response to the decapitation of a British soldier by a pair of terrorists. Dana made a funny joke about why gun control is useless, because really, everything is gun control with these guys (when it’s not abortion or Benghazi, of course): “Was the guy with the machete a member of the NRA? Asking for a friend.” We totally get her point, because in U.S. Amercia, the radical Muslim terrorist would have been able to use an AR-15 and really do some damage, instead of just having to attack with a machete and a meat cleaver. That was your point, right Dana? In any case, it’s good to know that in the face of an ‘orrible murder, these asshats managed to make it All About Them. Read more on Piers Morgan Responds To London Terror Killing By Uninviting Dana Loesch From His Birthday Party…
  domekopfs

English Defence League Knows What Will Stop Terrorism: Burn Down Anything That Looks Muslimy

You probably heard that terrorists murdered a British soldier in London Wednesday, and of course it goes without saying that attacking people with machetes and meat cleavers to make a political statement is pretty much the definition of Very Wrong. Unless of course you’re the English Defence League, the gang of super-literate racist goons who responded to the murder by going out and trying to burn down some mosques, throwing bottles at police, and posting the image above on Facebook, saying that it was outrageous that such a monstrosity could be allowed to pollute English soil: Idiot 1: Would look lovely in Saudi… Idiot 2: Where is this to? [sic] Idiot 1: This is one of the main roads down to the front in Brighton Idiot 2: So that mosque is in Britain jesus christ the size on it! Idiot 1: And that’s not even half of it In a tweet, Conservative Party blogger Mark Wallace, calls the conversation “A quick reminder of the #EDL’s appreciation of our national heritage: they thought Brighton Pavilion was a mosque” The Royal Pavillion in Brighton was completed in 1811 as a seaside vacation home for notorious radical Muslim mullah King George IV. Ship it to Saudi Arabia where it belongs! Read more on English Defence League Knows What Will Stop Terrorism: Burn Down Anything That Looks Muslimy…
  kenyan anticolonial also too

Wingnuts Outraged Over Socialist Marxist Hippie-Dippy Multi-Culti Antiwar Olympics Love-In

Which part of the Olympic Opening Ceremonies did you like best? Was it the plutocrats murdering the workers in the Industrial Revolution, or the pagans calling forth their gods with sacrificial virgins and maypoles? Was it the reference to the Industrialization of War? Was it the stunning black British girl texting, or the dorky boy in the bowler trying to smush on her about as convincingly as Michael Jackson stalking the lady through the alley in The Way You Make Me Feel? It is too bad that those British youngsters couldn’t understand why Special Relationship is Special, due to their sad lack of Anglo-Saxon heritage. Oh well, better luck next time, non-white people! Well we can tell you which part you should not have liked best, and that is all of it, because it was a disgrace! Read more on Wingnuts Outraged Over Socialist Marxist Hippie-Dippy Multi-Culti Antiwar Olympics Love-In…
  america's greatest pundits

The Proper Conservative Patriot’s Take On The Olympic Opening Ceremonies

Poor Jennifer Rubin, the unofficial public voice of the Romney campaign who continues to have a job at the Washington Post. Why doesn’t your Wonkette make fun of her more often? Maybe it’s too easy, but it’s not like that consideration has ever stopped us. Jen Rubin is sad today. Just a few days ago she was crowing, “The Obama campaign can’t bear the thought that the well-traveled Mitt Romney will make a nice impression on his overseas tour” — that the foreigns would instantly fall in love with Romney, a born diplomat. Unfortunately, within his first day or two of his arrival in our Special Friend country of England, Romney managed to insult the nation badly enough to earn a public rebuke from the conservative Prime Minister, the Mayor of London, and every newspaper and television station in the United Kingdom. What’s a Rubin to say now? How about… the Olympics opening ceremony is dumb, anyway, sorta like David Cameron is dumb. Read more on The Proper Conservative Patriot’s Take On The Olympic Opening Ceremonies…
  great insults of our time

Mitt Romney So Angry About Bust Of Churchill Still Being In The White House Just Like Always, We Guess

So this is a thing that idiot bloggers love to write about, how Barack Obama insulted the Queen by hurling the bust of Winston Churchill right at her vagina, instead of keeping it forever, for ‘bating on. And Mitt Romney, who takes all his cues from Ghost Andrew Breitbart these days, tried to make it a thing too, yesterday, after Day One of his National Lampoon European Vacation. “Blah blah blah,” he said, flop-sweatily, “You live here, you see the sites day in and day out, but for me as I drive past the sculpture of Winston Churchill and see that great sculpture next to Westminster Abbey and Parliament and with him larger than life, enormous heft of that sculpture suggesting the scale of the the grandeur and the greatness of the man, it tugs at the heart strings to remember the kind of example that was led by Winston Churchill.” And he will return that bust to where it belongs! America! Except what? The bust of Winston Churchill is still in the White House, just like always? Because the entire thing is made up, again? How weird. Read more on Mitt Romney So Angry About Bust Of Churchill Still Being In The White House Just Like Always, We Guess…
  leave mitt alooooone!

American Person Travels To London For Olympic Games, Doesn’t Embarrass Entire Nation

Now that poor Mitt Romney has been called out for his “rude and graceless” remarks by none other than Carl Lewis — perhaps the greatest Olympian, who said of him in disgust, “some Americans just shouldn’t leave the country” — maybe his very bad news cycle is almost over. Has he said anything else awful? Well, this, which was a wee bit blorgh: Asked whether he felt “partly English” […], a chuckling Mr Romney replied: “Well, I’m married to a girl from Wales, and I’m a guy from Great Britain. So I feel like this is home too, I guess.” But he hasn’t hocked a loogie on the Queen or taken a poo in the bidet, to our knowledge, so he’s ahead of the game, for him. But is there someone else, another American, who maybe is in London now not being “graceless and rude,” and embarrassing all of US America? Oh, hai Michelle Obama! Thank you for going to Englande for us! Read more on American Person Travels To London For Olympic Games, Doesn’t Embarrass Entire Nation…
  how rude!

Mitt Romney Now Losing Friends And Alienating People In Olde Anglo-Saxon-Lande Too

Oh Mitt Romney, please stop making us feel sorry for you. You go to Yurp so you can be a Celebrity Rock Star like Obama was in 2008, and “project leadership,” and everywhere you go, you make people hate you. What jerk thing came out of your mouth this time? Oh, just that London was probably going to do a crap job with its Olympics, is all. “Do they come together and celebrate the Olympic moment? That’s something which we only find out once the Games actually begin,” [Romney] said. “It’s hard to know just how well it will turn out. There are a few things that were disconcerting. “The stories about the private security firm not having enough people, the supposed strike of the immigration and Customs officials – that obviously is not something which is encouraging.” The remarks were greeted with anger, with many British supporters of the Games taking to Twitter to accuse Mr Romney of being graceless and rude. Read more on Mitt Romney Now Losing Friends And Alienating People In Olde Anglo-Saxon-Lande Too…
  occupy 2012

2012: A Self-Fulfilling Prophecy As the Human World Breaks Apart

The modern idea that human civilization would collapse in 2012 supposedly goes back to another overextended American empire on its last legs, that of the Maya. But like so much wrong thinking now popular in today’s United States, this concept made its first impression on the nation’s nervous consciousness through the teevee screen. In Search Of, the syndicated paranormal program hosted by Leonard Nimoy, claimed that the Mesoamerican long count calendar came to an end on December 24, 2011. (That date has moved a year forward in today’s paranoid circles.) You are probably waiting for the “Ron Paul connection,” at this point, and it is this: According to Leonard Nimoy reading a script for a pseudoscience documentary series in 1977, the end of the Mayan calendar would bring a cataclysmic earthquake, the collapse of the dominant civilization, and the creation of an internationalist New World Order. Actual scholars of the ancient Mayan culture, however, believe the end of the calendar would bring not disaster, but a wonderful celebration. Who’s right? WHO WILL WIN? Read more on 2012: A Self-Fulfilling Prophecy As the Human World Breaks Apart…
  courting freedom

Julian Assange Out On Bail; Let’s Look At His Weird E-mails To a 19-Year-Old

Julian Assange has finally been released on bail, LADIEZ. Who wants to buy him some train tickets and condoms he may not use? All of you? Keith Olbermann? Yes. The man has a whole castle to himself, one full of rustic objects with which to hold you down, if that is your sort of thing. Meanwhile, Gawker has published some e-mails an Australian woman received from Julian Assange in 2004, when she was 19 and he was already a white-haired weirdo. (Gawker paid her in pure, uncut Vegemite, probably.) “There was something unusual about our interaction,” he wrote in one. “It is almost as if I had scripted it and left my fingerprints in the ink.” Transparently hott! Read more on Julian Assange Out On Bail; Let’s Look At His Weird E-mails To a 19-Year-Old…