Tag Archives: logos

  Won't Someone Please Think of the Keychains?

U.S. Marshals Had Very Good Reasons To Buy $2 Million Worth Of Teddy Bears, Probably

Probably not licensed...yet
You know how Big Government is always wasting money on unnecessary crap like feeding children, keeping bridges from falling down, and inspecting meat? We know those things are wasteful, because Fox News tells us so. And now we learn that, before Tyrant Obama’s 2011 directive to cut down on funding for logo-embossed crap (which was loudly protested by the logo-embossed-crap industry), it turns out that the U.S. Marshals Service (USMS) managed to spend nearly $2 million on “promotional items” — really important things that advanced the mission of the USMS by making people aware of its existence, like poker chips, golf towels, pens, calendars and for all we know, logo-bedecked Personal Sanitary Supplies for the ladies and hula hoops for the kids. There was a bit of a News Flap last November when an initial report from the Justice Department’s Inspector General suggested that the USMS had blown over $800,000 on such useless promotional swag, but that report didn’t contain any details — so the nice folks at Muckrock did a Freedom of Information Act request for the invoices — and got 173 pages of documents detailing purchases of necessary promotional crap like stickers, lanyards, “challenge coins,” travel mugs, tee shirts, “Junior Deputy Badges,” mouse pads, and god knows what else. The total came to almost $2 million, including purchases for local and regional offices. Read more on U.S. Marshals Had Very Good Reasons To Buy $2 Million Worth Of Teddy Bears, Probably…
  that tie would look even better on a naked chick amirite?

Forget How Sexist This New Florida Logo Is, Let’s Talk About What They Paid For It

Some yammering feminazis are opening their shrill faceholes — which would look so much prettier with some dicks in them, are we right fellas? — about waaaah Florida’s new business logo is sexist waaah. It’s a man in a tie! says one hairy-legged hippie. Women don’t wear ties! says another one, who’s probably a lesbo. Why does Florida assume that it’s only men who do business, says a third bra-burning harpie. The state of Florida is learning the hard way that $380,000 can buy a lot of controversy. That’s how much the state paid to come up with its first branding logo designed to attract new business — only to be met with accusations that the logo is sexist. NEEDLE-SCRATCH. The state of Florida paid how much for their stupid logo? Read more on Forget How Sexist This New Florida Logo Is, Let’s Talk About What They Paid For It…
  should've just used ashcroft

Ron Paul’s Campaign Logo: Bald Eagle Desperately Trying To Escape Him

What the hell? Why is that bald eagle, our national symbol, fleeing Ron Paul on his campaign website’s logo? Is it because Ron Paul wants to take away the federal environmental regulations that protect the eagle from extinction? Or maybe we’re looking at this wrong. Is the bird defecating out this logo as he flies on by? Wait a second, did Ron Paul just steal that swoosh thing from Mitt Romney, who, in fact, originally stole it from Aquafresh? Read more on Ron Paul’s Campaign Logo: Bald Eagle Desperately Trying To Escape Him…
 

Which Presidential Candidate Will Your God Favor?

It appears Presidential candidate Barack Obama has locked down the nod from another heavy hitter … … but Jesus still leans Republican. Top photo via Extreme Mortman, bottom via Wonkette operative Matt in Nashville. Read more on Which Presidential Candidate Will Your God Favor?…
 

All Obamaworld Citizens To Be Branded

When Barry Hussein Obama becomes the world’s Enlightened Prince of Hope next year, people will be literally lining up to get their new permanent Obamaworld tattoos, on their foreheads. Obama’s campaign has already produced a staggering array of Obama-logo variations for every race and birthplace and interest. The “mark of the Beast” has never looked so good! Read more on All Obamaworld Citizens To Be Branded…
 

GOP Convention Logo Revealed

And it’s a sort of zonked-out rampaging blue elephant — about to crush 2008 itself beneath its gigantic front legs and staring in starry-eyed horror at its bland sans-serif cage. Also as this guy points out, it looks like old Philly A’s logo (on acid.) Read more on GOP Convention Logo Revealed…
 

McCain Logo Stolen, Photoshopped With “Rule With Iron Fist” Filter

At top, the terrifying, totalitarian logo of the John McCain campaign. Below it, the charming, identically-starred logo of British CANADIAN, WHATEVER, THEY WORSHIP THE SAME QUEEN packaged foods-manufacturer McCain. Further proof that WALNUTS! takes everything good and wholesome and turns it into another pawn in his world domination fantasy. Read more on McCain Logo Stolen, Photoshopped With “Rule With Iron Fist” Filter…
 

Kremlin Critic Killed by Comic Fans

We’d like to put forth the hypothesis that dissident Kremlin critic Alexander Litvinenko was poisoned not by the FSB/KGB, but by Russia’s other secret intelligence organization, the Main Intelligence Directorate (or GRU). Read more on Kremlin Critic Killed by Comic Fans…
 

Tom Vilsack Starting to Scare the Shit Out of Us

Yesterday, we celebrated the presidential candidacy of elaborate po-mo hoax Tom Vilsack with a montage of weird, evil shit his logo looks like. We missed one! The “English Socialist” ideology from 1984! Finally, a candidate who promises upfront to enslave us all! Read more on Tom Vilsack Starting to Scare the Shit Out of Us…
 

Tom (?) Vilsack Fever Sweeps Nation

Tom Vilsack (Pete Vilsack? Ted? We’re pretty sure it’s one syllable) announced his candidacy for President today. Wow! This is big news, even though he already did it a couple weeks ago. And Joe Biden did too, about three times, but no one gives a shit about Joe Biden. Anyway, Vilsack has signs now, so he’s legit. Also, a theme song: Just after 10 o’clcok [sic] Thursday morning, Vilsack and his family entered a Mount Pleasant gymnasium as the local high school band played a song titled “The Final Countdown,” by Europe. They left out the part where he entered the gym on a Segway, but other than that, good color. Also, Vilsack’s got a bitchin’ logo — and it looks like other things (copyright SPY MAGAZINE). Check it out, after the jump! Vilsack vows to bring “bold change” if elected president [RadioIowa] Read more on Tom (?) Vilsack Fever Sweeps Nation…
 

The Light of Day Was on Them, They Could See the Thrashers Coming

John Thrasher is running for Congress. We hereby endorse him, because it’s about time we had a “Representative Thrasher.” Oh, and don’t think he doesn’t know how fucking sweet his name is. ‘Cause that logo, buddy, proves beyond a doubt his streed cred. Thrasher for Congress Thrasher Magazine Man Running for Congress Steals Magazine Logo [Amorica.org] Read more on The Light of Day Was on Them, They Could See the Thrashers Coming…
 

Federal Government Websites Continue to Entertain Us

The Animal and Plant Health Inspection Service wants you to do your part to help stop the Bird Flu! They want your help so bad, in fact, that they’ve unveiled a web-based campaign designed to convince you that keeping your birds alive is in your best interest! Read more on Federal Government Websites Continue to Entertain Us…