GOOD THING YOU ARE ON THE INTERNET RIGHT NOW, AND NOT IN A SEX POSITION: A polite congratulations offered from a distance to the city of Washington, D.C. today, which the CDC just named the country’s #1 gross hotspot for highest rate of STDs. D.C. STD rates are three times that of Virginia and four times that of Maryland. Who knew those Late Night Shots people were even still alive? [My Fox DC]

Good news, Washington humans: the rich right-wing owner of the POLITICO, Robert Albritton, is preparing to launch a local news website, with the admirable goal of further destroying the Washington Post. (Although the Washington Post has great local news blogs and reporters!) And just in case you were wondering, yes: “The site will cover D.C and the suburbs, and echo Politico’s aggressive, scoop-oriented focus.” Your Wonkette editors have been brainstorming, furiously. [TNR]

Clip o’ the century, folks, clip o’ the century. Here is our favorite Fox & Friends star Steve Doocy wearing his mother’s finest Christmas sweater in a DC local news segment from 1988. The story is about one “A-peeling Guy” trying to give the Washington Redskins a potato. BUT! BUT! According to the subject of the story, who posted this clip on YouTube, STEVE DOOCY INSULTED RONALD REAGAN. MORE »

Wacky whore & fraud Rod Blagojevich, who was indicted on 16 counts of epic corruption in Chicago yesterday, is currently on vacation at the Florida amusement park Walt Disney World. Oh, and he is with his family. Some local teevee reporter lady got wind of this yesterday and went to his hotel pool area to harass him, ha. In the end we are introduced to a new and very comical figure, this very touchy fat slob who may or may not be Blagojevich’s bodyguard. [YouTube]

• ASSHOLES FROM POLITICAL BLOG RUIN JOURNALISM, AMERICA: People go so insane over words, on the Internet. [DCist]

Oh here this will cheer you up or bore you: John McCain does an interview with Maine reporter Rob Caldwell and basically does not answer any questions. Here is a direct quote from the 4:24 mark in the video (which we did not embed because the HTML was such utter garbage with an autoplay feature that could not be killed): “What experience does [Sarah Palin] have in the field of national security?” Answer: “Energy.” [WCSH6.com]

A mysterious ninja-type figure was recently seen running along Rock Creek between Woodley Park and Montrose Park, throwing “an azure-colored granular material” on the ground. Sometimes there seemed to be a pattern to this ninja’s artful splatters as they formed “X”s and “O”s. Was this some urban form of crop circles? A summons to ancient Mayan gods? Anthrax? MORE »

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It comes to us courtesy of NBC4. In a routine story about that evergreen local news topic, fires during weddings, reporter Michael Flynn gets a little poetic: MORE »

Hank Johnson may have won more “votes”, but Cynthia McKinney knows how to get more press, because if you get into an altercation with the media, you can pretty much guarantee that they’re going to report on it. Take notes, Mr. Johnson, take notes. MORE »

We kinda love everything about this story from channel 9 last night. The immediate invocation of Osama bin Laden (complete with the hilarious image of him rooting through the White House trash), the ex-con garbage man doing his “civic duty,” the outrage and shock from the anchors, it’s classic local news. And it even features a brief, wordless cameo appearance from Ms. Katherine Harris. Enjoy. MORE »