Tag Archives: lobsterbacks

  MovmentOn.org

Tea Party ‘Movment’ Ready To Mov America Forward

The teabaggers are putting the “red” back in “lobster” here at the Maine Lobsterback Festival! Sadly, they are taking the “e” out of “Movement,” because the letter E is brought to you by Socialism. Thanks to Wonkette operative “Ablington,” who says, “I am half hoping that the guy at Kinko’s who made their banner did this on purpose, but the Maine Tea Party is just probably that stupid.” Read more on Tea Party ‘Movment’ Ready To Mov America Forward…
  in your face cornwallis

Chrysler Woos Tea Partiers With Awesome George Washington Fan Fiction

Remember when Chrysler was America’s #3 car company, run by the can-do fraudery of Lee Iacocca, and not some terrible money pit owned in equal parts by Barack Obama and the Italians? Now it is exactly the sort of communist foreign enterprise that the “Tea Party,” the most important movement in American politics, is most primed to hate! And yet Chrysler would certainly implode (even more so, we mean) if its core customers — cranky old white people who refuse to buy “Jap” cars — abandoned them entirely. Thus they were left with only one option: sending three Dodge Challengers back in time so that George Washington could use them to fight the British. SHOCKING VIDEO EVIDENCE, after the jump! Read more on Chrysler Woos Tea Partiers With Awesome George Washington Fan Fiction…
  larouchite day at wonkette!

LaRouchite Dem Candidate ‘Ke$ha’ Has Some Awesome Ideas Re: Space Colonies, Impeachment

Texas’ 22nd district gave America its greatest statesman, Tom DeLay, and then seven glorious weeks of Shelly Dracula Cunt, but since then its representatives have been a little on the dull side. How are we going to fix this? Local Democrats are doing their part; they nominated a lady who is a Lyndon LaRouche devotee, and who wants to colonize Mars and impeach Barack Obama! Read more on LaRouchite Dem Candidate ‘Ke$ha’ Has Some Awesome Ideas Re: Space Colonies, Impeachment…
  gangland rumor mill

Rahm Emanuel To Quit White House, Says Tory Newspaper

Lobsterback broadsheet The Telegraph published a very suspicious story on Sunday suggesting White House Chicago Thug Rahm Emanuel will quit his Chief of Staff job later this year, probably after the midterms, because mean Barack Obama will not let Rahm crush his stupid little enemies like the dumb twigs they are. Why does Barack Obama hate our nation’s Second City political inclinations? Read more on Rahm Emanuel To Quit White House, Says Tory Newspaper…
  we never should have saved them from the kaiser

Anti-Limey Hysteria Reaching Fever Pitch

If beloved departing Wonkette editor Jim Newell can be said to have made one enduring contribution to the American collective political consciousness, it’s the way he made hatred of the British “fun” again. Before he came onto the scene, nobody was using the slur “lobsterback,” and now kids all over the country taunt their more effete/orthodontically challenged classmates with it constantly. He has done this, of course, because he is a LaRouchite plant, but you’ll have to admit this new wave of Britanno-hate is peaking at a strangely appropriate moment, what with a vast multinational corporation that used to have the word “British” in its name despoiling our ocean and all. After the jump, photographic evidence that The War of 1812 II: The War of 2010 is right around the corner. Read more on Anti-Limey Hysteria Reaching Fever Pitch…
  our flourishing imperial revivals

British Royal Empire Simply Does Not Care For Uighurs In Its Colony, Bermuda

The whole notion of a “British Commonwealth” was supposedly just a cutesy, historic relic to rake in tourism dollars for everyone, and to allow England to pretend it’s still important, right? Well that may have been the situation at, say, 7:30 a.m. on September 11, 2001, but only a couple hours later the world changed, and terrorism was invented. And now the Britons have learned that one of its commonwealth islands, Bermuda, got drunk last night and accepted four of the seventeen Uighurs from Guantanamo Bay, without asking the Queen’s permission, in an obvious Security Risk. Time to bring in the Lobsterbacks, to slaughter Bermuda into submission. Read more on British Royal Empire Simply Does Not Care For Uighurs In Its Colony, Bermuda…
 

Who Are America’s Top Political Pundits, According To Lobsterbacks?

The UK’s Telegraph publication completed its list of “the 50 most influential US political pundits” today with the top ten, and it’s only half-retarded. The big problem is that Matt Drudge comes in at #6, when there is no question that he should be #1. No one else on this list would have anything to say, and say all too often, if it weren’t for Matt Drudge. You really cannot underestimate this. Stupid England. [Telegraph] Read more on Who Are America’s Top Political Pundits, According To Lobsterbacks?…
 

Britain Loses Tax Data of 25 Million Redcoats

While we’re having Thanksgiving this week, our ex-overlords in Britain are losing tax records: [British Finance Minister Alistair] Darling was yesterday forced to explain to lawmakers how two unencrypted disks containing records of 7.3 million families claiming child-benefit payments had gone missing from the tax authority, which is overseen by the Treasury. The loss, the largest of its kind in U.K. history, lays open the 25 million people named in the data to the risk of fraud and theft. (emphasis ours) LOLengland. This is what you get for taxing our fucking tea and stamps. [Bloomberg] Read more on Britain Loses Tax Data of 25 Million Redcoats…