lobbyists
Mean Jerk Joe Biden Didn’t Send Aide A Thank-You Note Until He Asked, And Other Halloween Tales Of Horror
Sorry, old ladies, but Old Handsome Joe Biden may be old and he may be handsome, but he is NOT the world’s greatest lover of all humanity (especially old ladies) that you think he is! Once, he didn’t even send one of his aides, this swell fellow Jeff Connaughton, a thank-you note for fundraising for [...]
Healthcare Lobbyists To Throw Smashing ‘White Trash’ Party
STRATEGIC HEALTH CARE is a noble health care lobbying firm “working at the intersection of health care and government — widely respected for our expertise in congressional and regulatory matters, health policy analysis and solutions, CMS pilots and demos, federal grants development, managed care contracting and association management.” And that’s why it is holding a [...]
Mr. Hitler Goes To Washington
Republicans’ psycho cousin The American Nazi Party (ANP) registered its first lobbyist this week. They grow up so fast! It seems like just yesterday they were destroying the world! John Bowles, das lobbyist, registered Tuesday with House and Senate offices to represent the ANP.
Mitt Romney’s Modest ‘Manse’ Now Has a Car Elevator, Lobbyist
Mitt Romney’s small cottage in La Jolla is in the process of renovation, and the aggrandizing of this piece of real estate is such an important issue for the future of this nation that there is actually a guy assigned to lobby the house to the San Diego government. How do you lobby a house? [...]
Lobbyists Try to Weasel Around New DNC Rules Ahead of Convention
The Democratic National Committee last year enforced rules that are attempting make it harder for lobbyists to peddle their interests at this summer’s convention in Charlotte, NC, but the reality is, as long as there are laws, there are ways around, through, over and under them. The rules, part of President Obama’s quest to stop [...]
Nancy Pelosi Shamelessly Tries To Cash In On Occupy Wall Street
The Democratic Party is still not entirely sure what to do with this “Occupy Wall Street” stuff beyond allowing for a few cautious statements from one or another “liberal” member of Congress let out of the pen for a few minutes to say something to the effect of “it’s possible people might be somewhat fed [...]
Former Goldman VP Got Sexy Name Change Before Getting Job in Congress
The weird mutants staffing Darrell Issa’s House Oversight Committee are for once being documented mutants: Issa staffer Peter Haller, who mostly scribbles furious letters to government regulators demanding they quit harassing Goldman Sachs with horrible strict rules like, “at least use condoms when you’re screwing everyone,” was also Peter Simonyi who dealt with government regulators as [...]
Scott Walker Demotes Donor’s DUI Son To Other Position He’s Unqualified For
When it comes to government workers, Scott Walker knows how to hire them. If they agitate about “benefits” and “collective bargaining,” they’re lazy and want to inflict any pain they can on the taxpayers of Wisconsin, and Scott Walker will do anything in his power to try to fire them. But if they’re college-dropout 27-year-olds [...]
Scott Walker Pays $81.5K Gov’t Salary to Drunk-Driving Loser Son of Crony
When your corporation needs to take care of some troublesome “environmental and regulatory matters” in Wisconsin, heh heh, just go see the dumb kid who never graduated college but did manage two DUI convictions, because that dumb kid is earning $81,5000 a year as one of Governor Scott Walker’s top-paid people in the administration. But [...]
Louisiana: Wikipedia Pages Prank; Lobbyist: Wonkette Has No Ethics
Tuesday, while your Wonkette was working to bring the world “important” hilarious news about the pathetic Sarah Palin “Lou Sarah” account, we also threw up an account of somebody visiting the Louisiana Capitol building and finding a statue of the state’s first governor accompanied by a framed print-out of the governor’s Wikipedia entry. Apparently this [...]
White House Press Secretary: It’s ‘Routine’ For White House To Meet With Lobbyists
Yesterday, a great way to start the new job: The White House meets with all kinds of people all the time! It probably meets with David Koch impersonators! You can probably even walk in there with your dick hanging out and the president will still talk to you! Hey, here’s a tip: maybe don’t meet [...]
Yeah, Clarence Thomas’ Wife Is a Lobbyist
Ginni Thomas may have been forced to resign her duties as Washington Teabag Queen because she was drunk-dialing Anita Hill all the time, but that doesn’t mean she can’t make a living! (Clarence Thomas doesn’t report her living on his tax forms, by the way, even though the law says he has to. But let’s [...]
NATIONAL ENQUIRER SHOCKER: Enquirer Thinks Boehner Is ‘Handsome’
Someone is still trying to create a John Boehner affair rumor. This began in September, you will remember, when the New York Post cited some DailyKos person saying such a rumor existed as evidence that such a rumor existed. The Post said the Times was working on an “expose” of this affair, and was “looking [...]
Jack Abramoff No Longer Working At Zionist Pizza Joint
Jack Abramoff has finished his six-month stint working at Tov Pizza, “a modest kosher pizzeria in a heavily Jewish section of northwest Baltimore” — a job he held down while living in a halfway house following his stint in federal prison for being too good at his job and also ruining Tom DeLay’s beautiful life. [...]
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