Wonkette

Have you heard of lobbyists? They do very bad things that have destroyed our great nation, according to John McCain, which is why everybody with any involvement in his doomed campaign is required to be a practicing lobbyist. The current “revolving door” batch of lobbyists who run his entire life include lobbyists for Verizon, SBC, AT&T, Alcoa, J.P. Morgan, U.S. Airways, Land O’ Lakes, General Motors, United Technologies, UST Public Affairs, eBay, Goldman Sachs Group, Cablevision, Tenneco, Novartis Pharmaceuticals, Dell, Fannie Mae, Southwest Airlines, Toyota and the Pharmaceutical Research and Manufacturers of America. [Washington Post]

Now that John McCain’s the Republican’s most divisive, oldest, worst debating, worst speaking and generally gayest Likely Nominee, the K Street crowd is applying extra inches of makeup to impress the Republican Party’s latest corrupt president-in-waiting. Young Professionals for McCain, a group of young corporate biddies (check out the list!), will be hosting a “Super Tuesday Results Reception” next week. Expect hot dogs, hamburgers, potato chips and vodka on the refreshment tables and $10k wads of clean, unmarked bills duct-taped underneath. [Jonathan Martin]

The government likes to give farmers money. Lots and lots of money. And, even though the average household income for farmers is higher than for non-farmers, Congress would like to give them some of everyone’s tax dollars to help them out despite their record profits. In fact, because farmers are making so much money outside of government assistance, Congress had to come up with a whole new system to do continue paying them!

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Every week, I answer your questions about how laws get made and why they probably shouldn’t. If you have a question about the dirty business of doing business in Washington, ask me.

This week: How lobbyists stay employed, why hookers are more expensive than getting everyone drunk and screwing, and target-rich environments. MORE »

Every week, our Anonymous Lobbyist answers your questions about how laws get made and why they probably shouldn’t. If you have a question about the dirty business of doing business in Washington, ask her.

This week: Who do I fuck to get money?

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Every week, our Anonymous Lobbyist answers your questions about how laws get made and why they probably shouldn’t. If you have a question about the dirty business of doing business in Washington, ask her.

This week: dirty money for clean water.

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Every week, our Anonymous Lobbyist answers your questions about how laws get made and why they probably shouldn’t. If you have a question about the dirty business of doing business in Washington, ask her.

This week: lines — where do you draw them?

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Every week, our Anonymous Lobbyist answers your questions about how laws get made and why they probably shouldn’t. If you have a question about the dirty business of doing business in Washington, ask her.

This week: walk a mile in a lobbyist’s shoes.

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