Tag Archives: loans

  all the education you can afford

Student Loan Debt Leads to Unexpected Immortality

S-M-R-T
Here is the good news about student loans: they can apparently lead to your eventual immortality. The bad news: they lead to your eventual immortality by haunting your loved ones even after your death. Read more on Student Loan Debt Leads to Unexpected Immortality…
  banksters

Amercia, Where You Are Free to Take On Crushing Lifelong Debt

Wonketteers are all latte-drinking Prius-driving libruls, so they are all probably avid New York Times readers who are very familiar with the Times’ ongoing series on income inequality, “The Great Divide.” But just in case! Today’s installment is a cheery essay by Joseph Stiglitz, titled “Student Debt and the Crushing of the American Dream.” Doesn’t that sound like a fun read? According to Stiglitz, Amercia is being ruined forever by student loan debt, because Poors have the audacity to think they can improve their socio-economic statuses by taking on crushing debt and getting an education. This, of course, is a myth: a law passed in 2005 made it basically impossible to discharge student loan debt, and so it stays with you always like herpes, or a bad tattoo, except worse because you still have a chance at happiness of you have herpes or a bad tattoo. Also, going to college and taking on a bunch of crushing debt may not necessarily get you a good job, since almost half of all college graduates have jobs that do not require a college degree, but they still have to make payments on these debts with their meager salaries, so they can’t afford to go out to eat or go on frivolous shopping excursions, so our economy suffers, so there are no jobs for college grads, and round and round we go! Here, let Joseph Stiglitz explain all this at you in fancier language and using more “facts.” Read more on Amercia, Where You Are Free to Take On Crushing Lifelong Debt…
  banksters

Banks Might Like White Men Just as Much as the GOP Does

Are you STILL capable of being surprised by structural inequality, including but not limited to women and minorities’ inability to take advantage of various financial opportunities? Eh, us neither, we are used to it by now, but just in case we accidentally become inoculated, let us learn about the current instantiation of redlining in Chicago. Read more on Banks Might Like White Men Just as Much as the GOP Does…
  this is david frum's brain on drugs

David Frum Was Super-High When He Wrote This Column On Smoking Drugs

Marijuana is a SUPER RISKY drug you guys, we don’t know if you knew that, but David Frum is giving out free advice today about the dangers of marijuana, and how it leads to you not understanding your home loan and something about structural racism/classism in higher education. No, seriously, THIS IS WHAT HE IS SAYING (we think): marijuana is bad for you, and if you smoke it, you will end up like a Poor who gets bamboozled into high interest rate home or school loans. Read more on David Frum Was Super-High When He Wrote This Column On Smoking Drugs…
  governor sammiches

Who Is Chris Christie Yelling at Today?

Here, enjoy this video of Chris Christie screaming at a reporter from New York who has the NERVE to ask him a follow-up question about the foreclosure fund. Why is New Jersey dead-last in the nation in terms of implementing a bunch of programs to help homeowners avoid foreclosure, the reporter may have wanted to ask? Or, alternatively, he might have wanted to say something like: that $300,000,000 the feds gave you—why are you not using it to help homeowners? Except we’re not sure what the reporter was trying to ask, because Chris Christie immediately starts yelling about blue moons and New Yorkers from out of town and HOW DARE HE, given that he (the reporter, not Chris Christie, “has his facts wrong”). Read more on Who Is Chris Christie Yelling at Today?…
  friday happy post

Forbes Helpfully Explains Why ‘Careers’ Are for Olds

Do you have a career? Because if so, you are probably an Old or a Rich, given that they are not just letting people have careers anymore. See, careers are now for the idle wealthy, and the rest of us people can look forward to a life of hustling from one freelance gig to another, scraping together enough cash to live paycheck to paycheck and maybe even avoid crushing poverty if we’re lucky enough to never get sick or injured or require a sustained amount of medical attention. Doesn’t that sound nice? Here, we will talk about our future as temp workers, using this cheery Forbes article called “Careers are Dead. Welcome to Your Low-Wage Temp-Work Future” as a framework to guide our discussion. Read more on Forbes Helpfully Explains Why ‘Careers’ Are for Olds…
  rich old men

Wall Street Journal: Why Is Obama Siding With College Students Against These Poor Banks?

Yesterday, we learned a lot of fun facts about the one trillion dollar student loan bubble! Like the fact that student loans (unlike any other unsecured line of credit) cannot be discharged in bankruptcy, so the debt will never, ever go away,  not even if you die, and that banks will even garnish your social security checks to get their money. (Although the joke’s on THEM since we won’t even HAVE Social Security soon so ha!)  Even though the student loan bubble is actually slowing down the housing market and the rest of the economy along with it, the Wall Street Journal thinks that best course of action is to do absolutely nothing. See, that would be socialism! You wouldn’t want there to be socialism, would you? Of course not.  Also, these kids should be out creating JOBS, not trying to seek relief from the oppressive terms and conditions of their student loan obligations! If only “Uncle Sugar” wouldn’t be so focused on redistributing wealth, yadda yadda not hurting small businesses blah blah.  Actually we can’t figure that part out but the argument seems to be that helping debt burdened borrowers will hurt small businesses or something. We think? Read more on Wall Street Journal: Why Is Obama Siding With College Students Against These Poor Banks?…
  edumacation

Student Loan Bubble Reaches Around 1 Trillion, So What Who Cares

Oh LOOK someone has decided to do something about the gigantic loan bubble (student, not housing) in the form of commissioning a report from the Consumer Protection Bureau, and YAY Senator Dick Durbin (D-Ill) has gone ahead and followed the recommendations of the report, introducing not one, but TWO bills on private student loans! TWO! And one of them would even reverse the bankruptcy discharge law! Does the system finally work? Does it? Of course it doesn’t, this is America, and so both of these bills are “going nowhere!”  USA! USA! Read more on Student Loan Bubble Reaches Around 1 Trillion, So What Who Cares…
  edumacation

Obama Administration Has Devious Plan To Socialize Education Probably

Speaking of public education and third world countries, guess where YOUR tax dollars are going? A) to public universities, which will give all Americans access to an affordable college education for the enrichment of all, B) to private, for-profit colleges universities, so Poors, seduced by pictures of cute girls studying in pajama bottoms can pay twice what they would pay at a public university for the privilege of graduating at a rate of 22% and defaulting on their student loans or C) none of the above; you are part of the 49.5% of Americans who do not pay income tax because you prefer to suck on the government’s teat. Read more on Obama Administration Has Devious Plan To Socialize Education Probably…
  great moments in congressional testimony

Michele Bachmann GRILLS Ben Bernanke About ACORN

Harried Money Emperor Ben Bernanke testified in Congress again today about upcoming financial regulation measures and apparently pleased the Socialists by saying that increased transparency won’t do the trick — you have to straight-up ban certain financial instruments, starting with, say, the ones where lenders throw trillions of dollars of credit at random hobos without so much as even asking their names. Rep. Michele Bachmann was awarded some valuable questioning time during this taxpayer-funded government meeting, and got right to the heart of the matter: what are you going to do about ACORN, and is there going to be a New Global Currency that we’ll have to use by like tomorrow? Barney Frank and Ben Bernanke take these questions very seriously. [HuffPo, YouTube] Read more on Michele Bachmann GRILLS Ben Bernanke About ACORN…
  should have just put it on his amex

Another Big Timey Democratic Fundraiser Arrested

Riddle us this, finance experts: why would you go to all the trouble of (allegedly) forging a bunch of documents in order to get a $74 million loan and then repay the loan all quick-like once it became clear that Johnny Law was onto you? So much effort for a bunch of money you apparently didn’t need so badly anyway! Read more on Another Big Timey Democratic Fundraiser Arrested…
 

HILLARY CLINTON LOANED HERSELF $6.4 MILLION LAST MONTH: This is on top of the $5 million she lent herself earlier in the year. Guess it’s time for another book deal. [AP] Read more on …