Wonkette

• Terrible mysteries and all the makings of an above-average Law and Order surround a dead body in a parking garage elevator shaft. [DCist]
• Streetcar debate reaches an exciting low and genteel murmur. [Ryan Avent]
• An existential crisis about crab chips or some such, featuring Bernie Mac and some sophomore year literary theory. [Spencer Ackerman]
• Blond Charity Mafia are the three words selected — apparently at random — to form the title of LNS’s new series on Lifetime. [Washington Post]
• Local college newspapers will not fold like all other print media, and in the future, you can read about how all this happened in the Hoya or whatever. [City Paper]
• Thieves mug a park, in a park! [DC Examiner]

YOUR LATE NIGHT SHOTS PARTY WEEKEND SCHED, BRO: Pro-laxin’, bro. “LNS will once again be taking its chartered bus out to Bayhawks Stadium for this Saturday’s pro lacrosse matchup. The day starts at Rugby at 4, the luxury party bus leaves 5:45, faceoff is at 7, and all LNS ticket holders get free beer for the entire game. The nightcap post party will be held at Smith Point in Georgetown. We have spots for about 18 more washed-up ex-lacrosse players (male or female) who enjoy drinking cans of Bud Light while listening to Christopher Cross, Go West, Billy Idol and AC/DC.” But what about the hipster chicks and their “lithe vegan bodies,” dood? Who cares about those sluts, bro. Get your lax tix here, dood. [LNS Weekly]

OMFG, the Late Night Shots douchebags have suddenly realized their gals are kind of dumb and bland, and now the LNS doods have developed a collective boner for pretty hipster girls at the Black Cat and Rock ‘n Roll Hotel! But how will the LNS guys disguise their doucheness while trying to get some indie chick action? Read the tragic discussion, after the jump. MORE »

LETTERS FROM A NUT: Regarding the March 5 Reliable Source item “A Warped Lens on D.C. Party Scene”: The caption above the photographs of Reed Landry and Liz Glover stated that, according to Glover, Landry “went postal” on her camera. I was shocked, appalled and dismayed to read this term in your newspaper. “Going postal” carries a hideous and degrading connotation regarding the …. [Washington Post]

LIZ GLOVER-LNS CAMERA SCANDAL LIVES ON! Today’s Reliable Source D.C. gossip chat at WashingtonPost.com is loaded with more talk about that Late Night Shots cretin breaking our LIz Glover’s camera. What next, a major motion picture? [Washington Post]

Gentlemen don’t knock the cameras from the hands of Wonkette’s Liz Glover, but this is not a story about gentlemen. It’s a story about Late Night Shots, and its founder, Reed Landry. LNS is, of course, the closed social website network for binge-drinking Georgetown douchebags chased away to D.C. by their wealthy, exasperated parents, Anyway, our own Liz Glover attended a pleasant soirée a whole month ago, and everyone was enjoying the witty banter and decent champagne when … well, watch the Cinéma Vérité video and read Glover’s report and hear her tragic cries for help, after the jump. MORE »

Are you lonely on Valentine’s Day? The closed social-networking All Stars at Late Night Shots are planning an “Anonymous Love Party” at Smith Point, and you can dedicate power ballads, to no one. [LNS]

DC’s closed, invitation-only social networking site for rich prostitutes and Southern trust-fund children with gonorrhea, Late Night Shots, has inspired a Hills-type reality show. Are you a famous LNSer? Do you stare at pictures of Georgetown kids peeing on each other all night long? You can apply to be the next Lauren Conrad, right here! [via DCist]

Yeah, yeah, we say we’re done with them every goddamn time we write about them, but this was too appalling to pass up. It is re. the lovely Angela Valdez, City Paper staff writer, with whom we got far, far too drunk last night. MORE »

Yesterday, the Washington City Paper ran a cover story about Late Night Shots, DC’s finest closed social networking site for UNC grads who work hard to maintain that special mix of date rape, shitty beer, and racial homogeneity that is the Georgetown nightlife. The LNSers got mad and left funny comments. Yesterday, we looked at their City Paper comment tirades. Today, we move, once more, to the belly of the beast — the LNS forums themselves.

MORE »