Tag Archives: lns

  Ayn Rand's Adventures In Wonderland

The Headfountain: Ayn Rand In the 21st Century

The third installment of Wonkette’s Ayn Rand journalism comic is here! Vomit along with Ayn, by catching up with our first and second installments … only then will you be prepared for Chapter III. Read more on The Headfountain: Ayn Rand In the 21st Century…
  fail

Forgotten DC Frat-Bar Group Posts Failed Reality Show To Website

It is impossible to remember this now, but a couple of years ago DC was full of douche Republican youngsters with popped collars and confederate-flag bras who congregated at a Georgetown bar to tell jokes about coloreds. And, for many years, the biggest aspiration of these dildos/dildettes was to have a teevee Reality Show about their lives, which consisted of spending their parents’ money, getting abortions, “up skirt finger banging,” and either a) finding a six-figure job as a lobbyist for baby poison or napalm, or b) marrying a guy who gets such a job, and moving to Vienna or Reston and never having to see public transportation or a negro or a cute hipster girl ever again. What ever happened to that reality show, anyways? Read more on Forgotten DC Frat-Bar Group Posts Failed Reality Show To Website…
  the long knives are out

Teevee Show About The D.C. Ladies To Air This Summer!!!

The “much hyped” television show Blonde Charity Mafia, which will be like The Hills but about rich Georgetown socialites on Late Night Shots, will air this summer on the CW network. This needs to be liveblogged every week as part of Wonkette Summer Sweeps. Specifically we need to get Editor Ken in one of his “moods” and have him liveblog it. [WP/Reliable Source] Read more on Teevee Show About The D.C. Ladies To Air This Summer!!!…
  knowing your demographic

‘Late Night Shots’ Founder To Open Frightening New Thing

Late Night Shots, the exclusive invitation-only social networking club for young Confederate boys and the girls they photograph urinating, in Georgetown, will now expand. In Georgetown. LNS founder Reed Landry is pairing up with some law school student named “Fritz Brogan” (who is rich and friends with Jeb Bush) to launch a new alcohol establishment at 3277 M Street. It will literally be called “The Country Club,” according to this pink blog. “Country Club will not have a sign on the door. While Landry handled the interior design, Brogan insists it will have his signature ‘sweaty dance floor.'” [Ask Miss A] Read more on ‘Late Night Shots’ Founder To Open Frightening New Thing…
  inauguration hell parties

LNS To Celebrate 86th Anniversary Of Calvin Coolidge’s Inauguration IN STYLE

Exclusive social networking site to the Confederacy, Late Night Shots, is participating in this sexy Georgetown Ball OBVS. Maybe Buffett will show up and bring the tunage! And dude we bet our bro Trenholm crushes at least six indie slutz by midnight. Also. Read more on LNS To Celebrate 86th Anniversary Of Calvin Coolidge’s Inauguration IN STYLE…
  oh jesus

LNS To Host ‘Black People’-Themed Party!

Oh boy howdy here’s a winner of a party from our special friends at Late Night Shots, the exclusive invite-only social networking club for glib Georgetown trust-funders whose hearts belong to the Confederacy. The members were recently inspired by the playful cultural activities of the slaves on their plantations, and they’ve decided to throw an ironic version for themselves! HA HA HA, see it’s an AWESOME and hilarious idea for a party, because they’re pretending to be like black people!! Read more on LNS To Host ‘Black People’-Themed Party!…
  metro section

A Streetcar Named Ambivalence

Terrible mysteries and all the makings of an above-average Law and Order surround a dead body in a parking garage elevator shaft. [DCist] Streetcar debate reaches an exciting low and genteel murmur. [Ryan Avent] Read more on A Streetcar Named Ambivalence…
  late night shots

YOUR LATE NIGHT SHOTS PARTY WEEKEND SCHED, BRO: Pro-laxin’, bro. “LNS will once again be taking its chartered bus out to Bayhawks Stadium for this Saturday’s pro lacrosse matchup. The day starts at Rugby at 4, the luxury party bus leaves 5:45, faceoff is at 7, and all LNS ticket holders get free beer for the entire game. The nightcap post party will be held at Smith Point in Georgetown. We have spots for about 18 more washed-up ex-lacrosse players (male or female) who enjoy drinking cans of Bud Light while listening to Christopher Cross, Go West, Billy Idol and AC/DC.” But what about the hipster chicks and their “lithe vegan bodies,” dood? Who cares about those sluts, bro. Get your lax tix here, dood. [LNS Weekly] Read more on …
 

Late Night Shots Doods Fall For Hipster Gals

OMFG, the Late Night Shots douchebags have suddenly realized their gals are kind of dumb and bland, and now the LNS doods have developed a collective boner for pretty hipster girls at the Black Cat and Rock ‘n Roll Hotel! But how will the LNS guys disguise their doucheness while trying to get some indie chick action? Read the tragic discussion, after the jump. Read more on Late Night Shots Doods Fall For Hipster Gals…
 

LETTERS FROM A NUT: Regarding the March 5 Reliable Source item “A Warped Lens on D.C. Party Scene”: The caption above the photographs of Reed Landry and Liz Glover stated that, according to Glover, Landry “went postal” on her camera. I was shocked, appalled and dismayed to read this term in your newspaper. “Going postal” carries a hideous and degrading connotation regarding the …. [Washington Post] Read more on …
 

LIZ GLOVER-LNS CAMERA SCANDAL LIVES ON! Today’s Reliable Source D.C. gossip chat at WashingtonPost.com is loaded with more talk about that Late Night Shots cretin breaking our LIz Glover’s camera. What next, a major motion picture? [Washington Post] Read more on …
 

Wonkette Party Crash Gets Its Camera Crushed, By Late Night Shots Founder

newVideoPlayer("washlife2.flv", 463,387,"");Gentlemen don’t knock the cameras from the hands of Wonkette’s Liz Glover, but this is not a story about gentlemen. It’s a story about Late Night Shots, and its founder, Reed Landry. LNS is, of course, the closed social website network for binge-drinking Georgetown douchebags chased away to D.C. by their wealthy, exasperated parents, Anyway, our own Liz Glover attended a pleasant soirée a whole month ago, and everyone was enjoying the witty banter and decent champagne when … well, watch the Cinéma Vérité video and read Glover’s report and hear her tragic cries for help, after the jump. Read more on Wonkette Party Crash Gets Its Camera Crushed, By Late Night Shots Founder…
 

A Very Drunk Valentine From Late Night Shots

Are you lonely on Valentine’s Day? The closed social-networking All Stars at Late Night Shots are planning an “Anonymous Love Party” at Smith Point, and you can dedicate power ballads, to no one. [LNS] Read more on A Very Drunk Valentine From Late Night Shots…
 

Late Night Shots Teevee Show Invites All!

DC’s closed, invitation-only social networking site for rich prostitutes and Southern trust-fund children with gonorrhea, Late Night Shots, has inspired a Hills-type reality show. Are you a famous LNSer? Do you stare at pictures of Georgetown kids peeing on each other all night long? You can apply to be the next Lauren Conrad, right here! [via DCist] Read more on Late Night Shots Teevee Show Invites All!…
 

A Very Special LNS Addendum

Yeah, yeah, we say we’re done with them every goddamn time we write about them, but this was too appalling to pass up. It is re. the lovely Angela Valdez, City Paper staff writer, with whom we got far, far too drunk last night. Read more on A Very Special LNS Addendum…
 

“This Should be Fun and Make LNS Look Really Good”

Yesterday, the Washington City Paper ran a cover story about Late Night Shots, DC’s finest closed social networking site for UNC grads who work hard to maintain that special mix of date rape, shitty beer, and racial homogeneity that is the Georgetown nightlife. The LNSers got mad and left funny comments. Yesterday, we looked at their City Paper comment tirades. Today, we move, once more, to the belly of the beast — the LNS forums themselves. Read more on “This Should be Fun and Make LNS Look Really Good”…
 

Hill Staffers Bravely Debate Which Party Is Uglier

Today on The Capitolist — the new anonymous message board only accessible through official congressional computers — we learn what Hill staffers think about beauty and politics: * I’m just saying that for the most part, Democrats tend to be uglier or ugly people tend to identify more with Democrats. (Classic chicken-egg scenario). Probably because ugly people are usually always pissed off and spiteful of people who are successful and attractive and thus try to destroy them by taxing them to death. They can then define themselves as successful, even though they haven’t done anything worthwhile in their pitiful existence except harp about how much America sucks. And of course they then have even less fortunate people – who they keep in a state of perpetual helplessness – gullibly tell them they are heroes. Ugly heroes, but at least that’s better than nothing. How true! Come read some more of what makes America so great retarded, after the jump. Read more on Hill Staffers Bravely Debate Which Party Is Uglier…
 

Great Schism of ’07: Late Night Shots Locks Undesirables In Open Forum

Late Night Shots — the closed social network which allows you to explore Washington DC’s social landscape and bar scene — has been such a success that its leaders are forced to divide the LNS crowd between the super-white cretins and the lesser lights of binge-drinking takedown-impregnating conservative youth forced to live amongst the minorities of DC before going back to San Diego and becoming a defense lobbyist. Yes, there is a Great Schism. The invitation-only special forum will be seductively open for everyone to read, but only the upper crust will be able to opine on Muslims, morning-after pills and the “Ethiopians” who scurry about Adams Morgan. Everybody else is stuck in the “B Forum.” Read the memo, after the jump. Read more on Great Schism of ’07: Late Night Shots Locks Undesirables In Open Forum…
 

To Do: “I Need Him Like the Axe Needs the Turkey.”

* LNS Valentine’s Day party at Smith Point. BYODeep-set shame. [why.i.hate.dc] * Love Sux Party at Wonderland. No Jimmy Eat World allowed. [Brightest Young Things] * America’s receptacle, the Smithsonian, celebrates Valentine’s Day with David Anthony Durham’s Pride of Carthage, a “sweeping saga of Hannibal’s war against the Roman Empire.” $25 at 6:30PM. [Smithsonian] * The Lady Eve at AFI. $9.25 at 7PM. [AFI] Read more on To Do: “I Need Him Like the Axe Needs the Turkey.”…
 

Chugging Wine Behind the Gas Station: Young GOP’ers In Love

Please, DC cabbies, install little video cameras and send us the footage! Shared a cab…refused to give you my number…. – w4mReply to: pers-274090894@craigslist.orgDate: 2007-02-05, 10:50PM EST So we shared a cab ride back to Rossyln…stopped at a gas station…drank a bottle of wine….I was wasted you were so nice….I feel sooo bad….and I didn’t give you my number…but your really cute….and this is really gay….so I hope you respond :)Location: Smithpoint This is actually the complete opposite of “gay,” but what do you expect from Smith Point regulars? Read more on Chugging Wine Behind the Gas Station: Young GOP’ers In Love…
 

Metro Section: Cumbuckets!

* Smithsonian Secretary Lawrence M. Small earned $884,733 in 2006. [City Desk] * In case you are too clean and wealthy and scheduled and lucky to take the Metro, there was a fire at Farragut North today. [Read Express] * Best karaoke spots in DC. [The DC Concierge] * “It borders on criminal that no one in District government is making the case that some of this money [$1.4 billion surplus] should be returned to DC taxpayers.” [Cut DC Taxes] * The Washington monument is pretty, after all. [Blue Coyote Laughing] * Some guys on LNS “see college women as little more than cumbuckets. A warm place to put their dicks. And if they’re wearing a low cut shirt at a frat party, it’s not like they’re going to mind, right?” [why.i.hate.dc] Read more on Metro Section: Cumbuckets!…
 

Late Night Shots’ Final Solution(s) To ‘Muslim Problem’

When they’re not accidentally impregnating Tuesday-night Takedowns or vomiting on their own shoes, the members of Late Night Shots — the closed social network which allows you to explore Washington DC’s social landscape and bar scene — are busy solving the world’s many problems. After all, they will be lobbyists some day! One problem recently featured in the news is the problem of Muslims. Why so many kinds of Muslims? And why does it seem we are always invading their countries and killing them? How did some get over here, in Jesusland? We’ll explore the many interesting policy positions from the LNS community, after the jump. But first, an appetizer: * “It would be easy to just nuke these nuts, but they are spread out over everywhere in different cells and are very crafty. We have seen what they can do around the world…history (the crusades) will show us that Muslims will not back down until they achieve domination…we basically need to string all these whack nuts up and make them Extinct…then we could go back to a peaceful world. Don’t give me what about the Muslims that are good Citizens, you can’t trust these people especially when they groom there children to be killers. I mean look at 24…” Read more on Late Night Shots’ Final Solution(s) To ‘Muslim Problem’…