* Reliable Source: The RS column is 15 years old… Lloyd Grove is unemployed, spends all of his time drinking gin and watching Judge Judy. [WP]
* Yeas and Nays: John Kerry is the illegitimate son of Cookie Monster. Also, clearly high… Dan Berger: A lobbyist who paints! [Examiner]
* Washington Whispers: Hillary Clinton voted most Reagan-esque in poll. This, bizarrely, is a positive… Bill Clinton skipping Davos World Economic Forum to write book… Susan Collins gave Joe Lieberman a chocolate gavel, “Choo-choo choose you” valentine… Tom Vilsack doesn’t have time to read, skims first sentence of each paragraph, every other page. [USN&WR]
* Page Six: Al Gore sits on the board of Apple, who hate trees and the environment and shit. [NYP]

Former Frist speechwriter, think tank “policy analyst,” BET something-or-other, embodiment of “famous-for-DC,” former People 50-most-something, and current talking head Amy Holmes co-hosted The View today. She’s lovely, charming, and smart as a whip, though none of those qualities helped her deal with the shoutiest women on datytime tv (and their pet Republican squirrel, Elisabeth). MORE »

• Rush & Molloy: Diane Sawyer most demanding VIP in Martha’s Vineyard. Bill and Hillary Clinton appear everywhere at once. Newt Gingrich pitches Hillary-esque sit-com. [NYDN]
• Lloyd Grove’s Lowdown: Hillary Clinton and Gail Sheehy catfight looms (first item). [NYDN]
• Cindy Adams: Some guy from Wyoming trashes Ann Coulter (first item). [NYP]
• The Reliable Source: Ken Mehlman wants to share Bush’s b-day presents with all Republicans (second item). Karl Rove stares at the walls (third item). [WP]
• Liz Smith: President Bush a member of the “60 in ‘06″ club. Other members include Diane Sawyer, Liza Minnelli, and Cher. [NYP]

• Page Six: Donald Trump defends the biggest, swankiest flag ever [NYP]
• Cindy Adams: Cindy predicts Michael Ripoff’s demise. [NYP]
• Liz Smith: Anthony Kennedy whoops it up with Lally Weymouth. [NYP]
• The Reliable Source: Hillary Duff, Nicollette Sheridan and Michael Bolton spotted in the area. [WP]
• Lloyd Grove’s Lowdown: Will Bloomberg run for President? Signs point to… maybe! [NYDN]

Among the many things to be thankful for last week we counted a Thanksgiving Eve column by Lloyd Grove, and its coverage of an appearance by Supreme Court Justice Antonin Scalia. During an interview held by Norm Pearlstine, Scalia mocked schoolchildren (Whining “The Constitution is a living document” while rolling his eyes), taunted media elites (”You can dish it out, but you can’t take it.”) and defended the court’s decision to hear Bush v. Gore using what Al Kamen today called the “appearance-of-ridiculousness standard”:

What did you expect us to do? Turn the case down because it wasn’t important enough? Or give the Florida Supreme Court another couple of weeks in which the United States could look ridiculous?

Sure, why let Florida have all the fun? MORE »

• Reliable Source: Bob Novak receives scolding after a fight with a fellow first class passenger: “Some guy pushed me and I pushed him back.”. . . Signatures restaurant shuts its doors. . . Tom Friedman wins the Financial Times/Goldman Sachs Business Book of the Year Award with a cash prize of $52,000. [WP]
• Under the Dome: Rep. Paul Ryan (R-Wis.) and Rep. Steve Pearce (R-N.M.) are growing beards for hunting season. . . Budget bill passes because of impromptu BBQ between Rep. Mike Castle (R-Del.) to Rep. Sherwood Boehlert (R-N.Y.), two key lawmakers. . . Sens. McCain and Lott attend University of Mississippi football game together. [The Hill]
• Lloyd Grove’s Lowdown: Lloyd Grove’s autographed copy of Lewis Libby’s novel auctions for $90. [NYDN]
• Rush & Molloy: John Kerry attends NASCAR race in Miami. [NYDN]
• Page Six: Jenna Bush spotted at Fat Baby store in New York looking “absolutely lovely.” [NYP]

• Names & Faces: Is Lloyd Grove through at the New York Daily News? [WP]
• Under the Dome: Hillary roasts Rahm Emanuel: “Republicans may have the Hammer, but we have the Nutcracker! He has calves like Baryshnikov and a mouth like Cheney.”. . . Elizabeth Dole, Richard Burr, Bob Novak, Jerry Falwell, Orrin Hatch attend tribute to Jesse Helms. [The Hill]
• Inside the Beltway: Congressional staffers enjoy hemp feast. [WT]
• Cindy Adams: Donna Brazile: “I’m an African-American whose life has been a victory. But then came Katrina. . . Right now we need a president who will help. He’s helping. I’m so grateful. Poverty and misery is humbling. I’m humbled to the core that this administration is helping the poorest of the poor. . . I applaud this president for stepping up.” [NYP]
• Rush & Molloy: Bette Midler booed at Madison Square Garden Katrina fundraiser for joking, “George Bush likes my music. He came to see me in the ’70s. A coke dealer of mine got him some tickets.” [NYDN]
• Lloyd Grove’s Lowdown: 9/11 activist mothers call for tough investigation into Katrina response. Kristen Breitweiser: “This time, there’s got to be accountability. If you’re an elected official, you should be inviting accountability for yourself.” [NYDN]