Wonkette

Brave Wonkette videographer Liz Glover risked her life Saturday to film America’s Best outside the DNC Rules and Bylaws Committee, which has been already well documented on the Internet. On Liz’s travels, however, she sees some *Obama-supporting* Floridians who traveled to D.C. to make their vote count, a nut from effete San Francisco, a Hillary jack-in-the-box that’s on sale for 20 DOLLARS, a horse which she vaguely molests, and, of course, the necessary standard-bearers for any summit of nutjobs: LaRouchies. When asked to describe the overall experience, Liz writes, “I asked some of the protesters how much the Clintons were paying them to be there. Almost got beat up. Clinton supporters are very serious.” Liz clearly does not value Enfranchisement.

Do you know what we miss? We miss Sam Donaldson yelling questions at Ronald Reagan, and telling weird stories, and doing his “webcast” at the Republican and Democratic presidential conventions in 2000. Here, our own Liz Glover asks Sam to tell some stories, and good lord, does he oblige. This was at the Michael Kelly Awards over at the Atlantic Monthly’s office on Thursday night. (Yes we know Donaldson is on ABC’s This Week but we never wake up in time for that, due to booze.)

Wonkette’s Liz Glover had the opportunity last night to interview Arianna Huffington, founder of Daily Kos or something, about her new book and the nicknames she chooses for Tim Russert. When Liz is waiting for Arianna to sign her a copy of the book, some guy in line says “I know people that work for her,” presumably people who write for the Huffington Post. In other words, this guy knows any human being on earth.

Our very own videographer and Polaroid photographer Liz Glover sends this startling news to Wonkette Central Command: “ah the joys of being a pedestrian in our nation’s capitol. just almost got mowed down by cheney’s motorcade at connecticut and florida. the black suburbans on either side of his limo had what looked like swat teams seated in the back, windows down, with their automatic rifles - huge arse guns - streetsweepers - in full view. creepy. scary. maybe he’s returning to town now that the dc madam is dead. RIP DC Madam.” We think a potential manslaughter of Liz Glover means automatic impeachment.

It was quite the star-studded affair in Washington D.C. Saturday evening for the annual White House Correspondents Dinner, perhaps the District’s biggest social night of the year. This is the one where journalists and the politicos they cover congregate in an overt celebration of their inappropriate friendships — you know, the ones that caused the Iraq War. All of America can drink to that! Obviously the public-at-large wouldn’t care about a journalism party — they are not for the soft-at-heart, or people who have lives — if it weren’t for the WHCD’s other strange attraction, the liberal Hollywood Movie Star guests! Your Wonkette’s associate editor and videographer/Polaroidist Liz Glover donned our best church clothes Saturday to witness the proceedings, and all we got were strange memories and a wretched purple umbrella that says “Bloomberg.” The troubling story, below! MORE »

Last night Wonkette harassed Hillary campaign chairman Terry McAuliffe, but the audio went out! Now we can have one of those evil contests that people like so much, hurrah: When we asked Terry McAuliffe about Hillary Clinton, what did he say? Best response wins a pot of golden furs.

Polaroid Liz returns! Here she is with the bull-riding former DNC chairman and current Hillary campaign chairman Terry McAuliffe. He is a monster of energy, and maybe kind of a monster also. But here we are tonight at the Hillary campaign headquarters in Philadelphia, where there is no wireless despite the fact that all the campaign people keep saying “sure, there’s wireless everywhere!” These people lie like demons, everywhere, about everything.

Today your Wonkette visited the grounds of Independence Hall to discover the links between Primary Day, Liberty, Benjamin Franklin and Rock & Roll. In other words, we were looking for Paultards to harass. We didn’t find any for sure, but we found two other things! First, a nice conspiracy theorist who calls Obama a “Martinist.” A Martinist is a Satanist, more or less, because Satan was named after Martin Luther King Junior. This wise fellow is in a Rock and Roll band on MySpace, much like the second figure we ran into: Lee Ranaldo, guitarist for Satanist band Sonic Youth (another member of which we have already harassed). He doesn’t think he is a sell-out, nor does he care which Democrat wins the nomination. But is he a Martinist?