Ruh roh, New York Governor Eliot Spitzer is a master of whores! A Hebrew pimp? A baldilocks whoremonger? A fishmonger dabbling in whores, with a cod piece of cold ethical hypocrisy? O, such country matters. Anyway, just what exactly is this Spitzer doing with these sloppy whores? Let’s liveblog his press conference… MORE »

This president is William Howard Taft, one of Ohio’s eight presidents and the fattest of them all. Extremely, extremely fat man. Will Mark “Bowser” Penn’s strategy of doing nothing positive for Hillary Clinton give her the state? Usually she loses states, but let’s find out.

7:30 — TOO CLOSE TO CALL in OHIO says KEITH OLBERMANN. Don’t, stop, thinkin’ about tomorrow…

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Why is she still running? Will she just give her stump speech again? Most importantly: WHY IS SHE SPEAKING FROM CHENEY HIGH SCHOOL? Apparently, she will try to get the Republican nomination now.

UPDATE: That devilish plagiarizer Barack Obama interrupted Hillary and is now giving his speech. It is better than Hillary Clinton’s speech, and we will type about it. MORE »

Indeed, tonight’s Superficial Primary Coverage theme will be cheese, cows, and snow. Anything else? Brett Favre, maybe, depending on how many times Hillary mentions things that were only good in the ’90s. Sports joke! Zing. Anyway, what are the people on teevee saying about the spin, the white woman and the black man? MORE »

Ruh roh, the Republicans might have a fight after all, now that Rush Limbaugh has yelled at John McCain so much. Anyway, let’s liveblog… MSNBC! And maybe other channels too. But really, does it get any better than MSNBC? MORE »