Liveblogging Philadelphia’s Debate From Only Nice Location In Philadelphia!
Wednesday, April 16th, 2008
Hey look everybody, it’s your favorite pals from the Main Stream Media, in Philadelphia. We are here to liveblog Barack and Hillary’s latest friendly debate from the National Constitution Center, where the Constitution was whittled from a single block of wood. It’s true! Ask Ben Franklin, he’s EVERYWHERE in this city. Anyway, what do Barack and Hillary have to say that anyone will care about? Only THE ISSUES! Now let’s grab a bottled water and wave girlishly at Mickey Kaus and liveblog this number. MORE »
Ruh roh, New York Governor Eliot Spitzer is a 
This president is William Howard Taft, one of Ohio’s eight presidents and the fattest of them all. Extremely, extremely fat man. Will Mark “Bowser” Penn’s strategy of doing nothing positive for Hillary Clinton give her the state? Usually she loses states, but let’s find out.
Why is she still running? Will she just give her stump speech again? Most importantly: WHY IS SHE SPEAKING FROM CHENEY HIGH SCHOOL? Apparently, she will try to get the Republican nomination now.
Indeed, tonight’s Superficial Primary Coverage theme will be cheese, cows, and snow. Anything else? Brett Favre, maybe, depending on how many times Hillary mentions things that were only good in the ’90s. Sports joke! Zing. Anyway, what are the people on teevee saying about the spin, the white woman and the black man? 
Ruh roh, the Republicans might have a fight after all, now that Rush Limbaugh has yelled at John McCain so much. Anyway, let’s liveblog… MSNBC! And maybe other channels too. But really, does it get any better than MSNBC? 