Among the bigger shocks of last night’s Republican CNN/YouTube Debate was that much of the funny/shame didn’t come from the videos. L’Anderson made it clear from the outset that puppies, snowmen and butt plug submissions were categorically rejected, which we feel is racist or sexist or one of those other things people get angry about. As a result, it was up to the candidates to buoy the event’s cerebral expectations. Mitt Romney singlehandedly did that, with some of the densest douchebaggery we’ve seen in an election season more than rife with it. Otherwise: Giuliani — nothing new on the evil front; Fuckabee — very calm and cool, especially when talking about killing Hillary on Mars; Hunter/Tancredo — Securing the Mexican vote; Walnuts — Angry, depressed, grumpy, but kind of cute; Thompson — Bumblebees, tadpoles; Paul — Might actually be as stupid as his followers.

Oh but we exagg: Some video submissions were disgustingly enjoyable. After the jump, our top five, excluding the ones we posted last night or just forgot about. MORE »

Hour two of the YouTube Debate continues here, from here. More videos, more videos now, we want more videos, blah blah Paultards. MORE »

Why are you reading this? Why? Do you think my liveblogging, or anyone else’s, can possibly bring more funny than Republicans being asked dumbshit questions by inanimate objects — and then responding to them?? Just get out of here. Shimmy on now! My role is futile; I am a pawn among the divine, celestial humor forces that aligned to make this dream-debate a reality.

Joking! I will haz funny! I’ll make at least a billion zillion anal sex jokes!! Oh now you’ll stay? Eh, works for me. Start sharing drinking game suggestions right about… now. MORE »