It could happen in this next half-hour. “It” being, hmm, a big hedge fund collapses? Oh no, that wouldn’t be real news. “It,” of course, meaning conclusive evidence that you dumb college liberals have succeeded in getting some Muslim ACORN guy into the White House. “Nice.” When (IF!) this becomes official, there’s only one channel we want to watch: Fox News. We expect sobbing racial tirades. MORE »

It’s slightly later now, which means that everything is more significant. Wolf Blitzer won’t say “Sununu” much anymore, but still! Exciting things are afoot.

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The only question we have for this latest batch of states is: will Maryland stay in the Democratic column? What? Exactly. Now let’s watch the CNN people eagerly discuss how there will not be projections re: Florida or Pennsylvania for another FIVE AND A HALF YEARS. Roland Martin probably has an interesting take on this!

8:00 — Oh crap on a stick, there are a million projections: Obama — IL, MA, DE, NJ, ME, DC, MD; McCain: TN, OK. No surprises. UPDATE: Liberal MSNBC calls PA for Obama, CNN does not. MORE »

Those of you who are privately in love with Chuck Todd will recall that he recently told us, “If Indiana is too close to call at poll close, that is good news for Barack Obama.” Well, Wolf Blitzer just said, “We’re in no position to make a projection yet.” MORE »

Polls have closed, in some states! Your Wonkette Team, the best team of Wonkette editors on TeeVee, is here, along with serious supplies of wine, champagne and assault rifles. Mark Warner is your new Virginia Senator, yay, and sleazy fartbag Mitch McConnell is losing a bit, right now, in Kentucky. Vermont has gone for what’s his name, the King of Man, the Socialist-Terrorist. MORE »