Liveblogging Mark Sanford’s Confession Of Molesting Alien Rats In Some Fancy Mexico
Wednesday, June 24th, 2009
Mark Sanford’s going to talk to the media, RIGHT NOW. We are watching MSNBC, which is most likely to cover it — it is hard to get a camera inside South Carolina — due to its liberal politics. Make your bets NOW about possible sex affairs/love children, closest-without-going-over gets a chocolate dildo…
SUMMARY: If you missed the hot live action, he admitted to having a hot sex affair with a hot babe in Argentina, for a year, and then he apologized to millions of people and Gods. MORE »











Wow it’s morning so that means Barack Obama is giving televised remarks about the latest failed giant business he’s buying us for Ramadan. General Motors! “The collapse of these companies would’ve been devastating to America,” etc., yes we know, “and it would be good for American workers and American manufacturing and good for America’s economy” if, heh heh, GM didn’t have to pay all its debts. Let’s live-blog this by liveblogging, now!
Oh boy, even on the NPR they are saying, “Sonia Sotomayor is a loudmouth who thinks she makes better decisions than white men.” (”I’m paraphrasing,” says the commentator.) The nerve! This whole scenario is playing out exactly as ordained in Christopher Buckley’s
Somebody on MSNBC said that Obama’s speech was ten pages single spaced and this must be true, because this has been going on half an hour and he is just getting started. How does this guy manage to talk at such lengths without a glass of water nearby? Because he is Magic.
Remember how Barack Obama doesn’t want to own all these companies, and
Hey friends welcome to the first (1st) part of the liveblog! If you’re joining us from “YouTube,” “aloha” to you. And a very special “Feliz Navidad” to our Barack Obama, who has been the President for 100 days at this point, today. Let’s hear his smug self-congratulations.
Yes we can haz liveblogging, tonight, beginning when the excitement begins, which is 8PM Eastern and 5PM Western. Do you not have a teevee? Well good for you, but also THAT’S NO EXCUSE because this historic 100-years-war, which will be marked with a fireside chat from the White House (reporters will be burned for fuel), it is also the historic first time YouTube is showing live streaming nude video of the Obama Press Conference.
Her whole life she’d wondered. How could she, a lively and high-spirited young woman, possibly be the child of a deeply depressed and profoundly lifeless pill addict like her so-called mother? She thought she might have the answer now …
Whoops you must keep an eye on this frisky new Preznet of ours, because every time you turn your back on him he’s sneaking off to deliver another speech on the economy. So we come to this one in medias res, because that makes it more exciting and suspenseful.