This is what it was like in Soviet USSR Russia, we bet! The guy, on the teevee, every night. Five year plans, advancing upon the enemy stronghold, great progress made in the Martian Dirt Wars, etc. We don’t know FOR SURE about this, as we arrived in the USSR about two weeks after it officially ended — this is true! — and by then it was all tits & death metal on the RUBIN black-and-white set. Anyway, is the recession over yet? Has Komrade Obama talked it away, while his douche-bots in the East Room try to act like they understand anything beyond do-nuts and Twitter? MORE »

The night ‘o liveblogging continues with this, your post-post Obama semi-State of the Union liveblog. And how about that Bobby Jindal? Sunday School will never be the same, right? (GOOD THING ADULTS DON’T GO TO SUNDAY SCHOOL.) What a dork! Anyway, your Liveblogging Part One and Part Two and Part Three and Part Four can be found by clicking those very words, to help the economy. And now let’s watch the lamers talk about whatever they talk about, how Obama failed, etc. MORE »

Oh good gravy they are having the Fourth Ballot! It takes so long. “It’s time to vote,” the douche keeps saying — watch him say it, here on CSPAN! Something about changed proxy votes, maybe these people could get it together, and OH SHIT MIKE DUNCAN IS WITHDRAWING! So this should go to Steele, who will take his “Victory in Maryland” nationwide! MORE »

It is actually a beautiful, sunny day in Washington D.C., in the freezing winter! The people are hopey, happy, etc. Allah really does want this Barack Obama character to become president, of Earth. Let us now continue the patriotic liveblogging of this Inauguration Day Inaugural Special, from Washington, where somehow another Bush is not becoming president today. MORE »

It’s time for our first official historical inaugural Inauguration Day liveblogging! Good morning, Hopeful America. We’ve got the Comics Curmudgeon on the ground, Jim Newell staggering around Capitol Hill with a broken camera, and the best political team on the internets, etc. Let’s gather together around our teevee set and make fun of the cable-news people and, later, cry tears of awesome. MORE »

The next President of the United States, Michelle Obama, will debase herself before an audience of nice American ladies when she guest-hosts The View today with Barbara Walters, Whoopi Goldberg, Bette Midler, Boy George, and Ferris Bueller. Stay with us as we liveblog this possibly tragicomic trainwreck at 11AM Eastern — just one short hour from now! [The View]

• YOU’RE ALL INVITED TO WONKETTE’S HILLARY CLINTON POOL PARTY: Tomorrow, Washington, D.C. will reach a heat index of 105 degrees, Fahrenheit. You will not be able to play outside, so you might as well watch Hillary’s big farewell speech in which she will endorse Senator Barack Obama, depending on your interpretation of “endorse” (shoot?). The speech is planned for noon, and your Wonkette will be here to liveblog it, since we’ll already have been awake for five hours watching Cartoons. Join!

John McCain finished his angry old-man rant, Hillary finished her “I have made no decisions” speech, folks talked about some stuff in the middle, and now it’s time for Barack Obama, the Hopeful Boy Unicorn, to bring it home. Of course the Decemberists opened for him here in St. Paul, so we can assume the big crowd is for them. Still, let’s have a listen! MORE »

Don’t forget to come back around 8:00 ET tonight to join Jim as he takes on the Herculean task of liveblogging tonight’s Republican Presidential debates! You’ll laugh, you’ll cry, you’ll realize why we at Wonkette drink so heavily. Join in the snark on the comment threads as the Republican candidates try to out-Republican one another until the smell of testosterone gets too overpowering and Anderson calls an end to the whole thing so they can all be alone.