Tag: liveblog

DNC Night Four: Hillary Clinton Makes History, Bill Makes Sammiches. Your Wonket Livebloog!

It's the final night of the Democratic National Convention! Watch for falling balloons!

RNC Night Three: Let’s Watch America Be First And Mike Pence Be Number Two! A Livebloog!

It's 'Make America First' Night at the RNC. Let's see what that nice Mr. Lindbergh has to say, shall we?

You Want More Justin Trudeau Hotness? Fine. Your Weekly Top Ten.

Y'ALL. It's Saturday! You're probably like "Gah Evan, why do we have to look upon the hotness of Canadian Prime Minister Justin Trudeau again THIS SUCKS." That's because you're bad at life. But we can explain. First of all,...

Ben Carson Has New Scam Cure To Sell, And Its Name Is Donald Trump

Looky here! Dozin' Dr. Ben Carson has had a nice week-long sleepcation after deciding he can grift in the private sector without having to stand on debate stage and keep his eyes open and "answer" questions. And now that...

Donald Trump Punches Everyone In Their Little Marcos: GOP Debate Liveblog

Who is getting cold-cocked by Donald Trump tonight? Ted Cruz? (Probably.) Marco Rubio? (Definitely.) John Kasich? (Nah, no one cares about him.) Some poor protesting dude or dudette? A Breitbart reporter? ALL OF 'EM KATIE!? It is a day, and...

GOP Probably Won’t Have Marco Rubio Kidnapped After Tonight’s Debate. Probably.

Has it been a long time since you pulled your Underoos up over your nipples (that's how you get comfortable), popped open a can of Spam and watched a presidential debate? No, it hasn't! You watched one on Wednesday...

Who’s Begging To Get On His Knees For Donald Trump Now? GOP Debate Liveblog

Me-owwwwww hiss scratch, so many fight words coming at Donald Trump now! Even though he has been the frontrunner of the GOP race since he decided to stick his delicate tiny-penis fingers into it, Republicans are not the sharpest stars in the sky, so it's taken...

Republican Candidates Trying To Fill Ben Carson-Shaped Hole In Their Hearts

Uh oh, it's a day in 2016, which means it's time for the remaining GOP candidates to come together for spiteful purposes, infecting our television sets and Commodore 64 computers with bile and derp. Yes, we mean like in...

It’s Your Nail-Biting Edge-Of-Your-Seat Thrill Ride South Carolina Primary Open Thread

Today is South Carolina's great big Democratic presidential primary, and Yr Wonkette is here with you for every minute of the excitement while we wait for the networks to call it for Hillary Clinton with .3 percent of precincts...

Bundys, Beyoncé And Rick Snyder’s Wife’s Birthday Cake. Your Weekly Top Ten.

Well hi there and good Saturday morning to you, Wonkers! Many newses happened this week, so it's good that you're here for us to catch up together! Haha just kidding, we are not together, because WE WROTE THESE DAMN...
That's you right now.

Do Not Be A Dummy And Forget How We Are Liveblogging Tonight’s Democratic Debate

What's shakin', DUMMIES? Just sittin' around, bein' DUMMIES? Just fooling, you are not so dumb after all. Because obviously (OBVIOUSLY) you are planning to meet us late this evening here at Ye Olde Wonkette News Tyme Webbe Page, as...
They ain't smilin' no more.

Let’s Watch Hillary And Bernie Scrap Like Jilted Lovers. Your Democratic Debate Preview

Good morning, Wonkers! Did you watch the super exciting whoa-gazi jam session CNN did with the Democratic candidates last night? Did it send a thrill up your leg and leave a wet spot on your Down Theres? No? OK,...
They're probably not goin to be nice to each other like this anymore, oh well.

Bernie And Hillary Do Free College Benghazi To Each Other At CNN Town Hall

Oh gosh, what a week it has been, and it's not over yet. First Hillary eked out the minorest of beatings against Bernie in the Iowa caucuses. Like so minor that if some of the coin tosses had gone...

Donald Trump Eats Ted Cruz’s Canadian Bacon: GOP Debate Liveblog

Hey you, wake up! The Republican undercard second-tier losers' debate for extra-loser losers is over and now it's time to watch Donald Trump and the other prime-time losers shout at Fox Business Network for asking mean questions like "Dr. Carson, you...

Carly Fiorina In Three-Way With Mike Huckabee And Rick Santorum … WAIT COME BACK

Gather round, ye wonkers, for the Republican Undercard Cage Match Debate, starring Mean Mike Huckabee, Rick "Santorum" Santorum, and the most terrifyingly vicious fighter of them all, Carly Fiorina, pictured above. Rand Paul, because he is a whiny baby, will...