Wonkette

The next President of the United States, Michelle Obama, will debase herself before an audience of nice American ladies when she guest-hosts The View today with Barbara Walters, Whoopi Goldberg, Bette Midler, Boy George, and Ferris Bueller. Stay with us as we liveblog this possibly tragicomic trainwreck at 11AM Eastern — just one short hour from now! [The View]

• YOU’RE ALL INVITED TO WONKETTE’S HILLARY CLINTON POOL PARTY: Tomorrow, Washington, D.C. will reach a heat index of 105 degrees, Fahrenheit. You will not be able to play outside, so you might as well watch Hillary’s big farewell speech in which she will endorse Senator Barack Obama, depending on your interpretation of “endorse” (shoot?). The speech is planned for noon, and your Wonkette will be here to liveblog it, since we’ll already have been awake for five hours watching Cartoons. Join!

John McCain finished his angry old-man rant, Hillary finished her “I have made no decisions” speech, folks talked about some stuff in the middle, and now it’s time for Barack Obama, the Hopeful Boy Unicorn, to bring it home. Of course the Decemberists opened for him here in St. Paul, so we can assume the big crowd is for them. Still, let’s have a listen! MORE »

Don’t forget to come back around 8:00 ET tonight to join Jim as he takes on the Herculean task of liveblogging tonight’s Republican Presidential debates! You’ll laugh, you’ll cry, you’ll realize why we at Wonkette drink so heavily. Join in the snark on the comment threads as the Republican candidates try to out-Republican one another until the smell of testosterone gets too overpowering and Anderson calls an end to the whole thing so they can all be alone.