Have you ever wondered what it would be like to hear a dull debate REALLY LOUD? Well, that’s what we’re experiencing here tonight in the beautiful warehouse attached to some auditorium where, maybe, the Democratic debate is happening right now. Other than Mumbly Joe yelling something about the fun new video game “Race Base,” nothing of interest has happened. Oh, except Barry Obama just said his worst quality is he has a messy desk or lost his pen or something. Jesus fuck, did he just get that out of one of those “change your career” books? MORE »

Everybody ready? It’s a three-person match tonight, thanks to The Fascists, and at some point the candidates are supposed to ask each other weird questions. Expect a lot of racial tension! And live-blogging, of course. And tonight, we’re keeping track in Nevada Time.

6:00 PM — Mitt Romney is the New Mormon President of Michigan, hooray!
6:01 PM — OH DEAR GOD TURN IT DOWN TURN IT DOWN THAT’S TOO LOUD.
6:01 PM — So loud. Please turn the loudspeakers down, down, down.
6:01 PM — I have no idea if the debate is really being held next door, in this same building. How would I know? It’s like when NASA faked the moon landings. MORE »