live blog

What time is the 2014 State of the Union SOTU Fox News? It is at 8:55 Eastern ET Time. What time is the Wonkette Livebloog time-stamped word salad refresh your browser to update liveblog? IT IS ABOUT AN HOUR AGO. Welcome to part two of your nonsense! Nonsensers! 10:09 p.m.: And we’re back! That was […]

Oh, yeah, no. Not from us. It is Saturday, and we are going to do Saturday things. Saturday things like “go to the post office,” and “mail out some Smoking Joe cups,” and “buy all the wine,” and “see if KBJ wants to hang out,” and “get a facial,” as we are an entrepreneuress and […]

Here comes Sarah Palin, to stand for God, Country, Freedom, and Taco Bell. She breaks the mold. Turn on your span, let’s watch this shit! 12:08: UH OH! It is that asshole Ted Cruz, the one with the Jerk Baby, instead! Is Sarah Palin lost somewhere? Are they filling time while she has a fucking […]

The GOP Response to the most exciting SOTU evaris real soon! The Tea Party Response to the SOTU is after that! Marco Rubio is giving the official GOP response, and Rand Paul is giving the Tea Party response. Neither is expected to be as entertaining as that one time when Kenneth the NBC Page gave […]

THE TIME IS NOW!!!! THE CHANNEL IS HERE! As a reminder, some person named “Ken Layne” has written a drinking game over at “The Awl,” so please to familiarize yourself with The Rules. (Corn liquor.) Need a livestream? It is here. We will be back shortly; we are watching the empty building in which #Chris#Dorner […]

Hey, so anybody able to get this fucker to load? No, right? HAHAHA, we just figured it out. Chicago is NOT ON EASTERN TIME MAYBE? So maybe it is one more hour before this bad boy starts? For sweet Jesus crying out loud. This is seriously going to cut into our Pimm’s cup and French […]

You know, we were sort of toying with live-blooging the last Duckworth-Walsh Illinois congressional debate, but then we were like, eh, maybe Tammy Duckworth will be kind of boring, and surely Joe Walsh is too much of a pussy to offer her a Purple Heart band-aid for her kickass robot legs to her face? But […]

Hello, nerds! Rebecca and I are ready and set to get up in this debate shit, on the real. Tonight is the most important night of Barack Obama’s life, in that he should just straight slam Five Hour Energy and then leap around onstage like he will seriously Seal Team Six the fuck out of […]

What’s this, Sara Benincasa is joining us tonight, in our domicile? Does she have hair to braid? We will soon find out! In the meantime, here is the first and last nice thing we will most likely say about Paul Ryan tonight: Paul Ryan sends copies of NOBUMMER’s birth certificate to any constituent who writes […]

Want to catch up on Senator Staple-Crotch dealing a death-blow to his “nice guy” image? Previous debatings here and here. (That second link is if you want to relive Third Man David Gregory finally succeeding in breaking your Wonkette, reducing us to a puddle of Tea Partyish rage. Your Editrix’s mother thought it was great!) […]

You guys there is yet another debate tonight in Massachusetts and we are beside ourselves with excitement waiting for the answer to the eternal question, JUST HOW RACIST WILL SCOTT BROWN BE? We bet he goes full Andrew Jackson. Because for the last hour, his supporters have been doing war whoops and tomahawk chops outside […]

Remember when Your Wonkette went to Tampa and Charlotte and then lots and tons of other cities, to feed beer to you, our beloved Wonkados? No, we don’t either. But we are told we made friends with a bunch of dudes from Boston whilst there, and they told us FLAT OUT that Scott Brown was […]

Harry Reid has done us all the mitzvah of making sure Scott Brown doesn’t have an excused absence from tonight’s debate with everyone’s favorite schoolmarm, Elizabeth Warren. Also, Reid basically called Brown a coward trying to get out of the debate the way most Republicans got out of Vietnam, and then told him to put […]

Everybody get your fine illegal Communist rum and your fine illegal Windowpane, and meet us back here just in time for the tribute to Old Handsome Joe Biden, and then Barry making love to you again like it is the first time. So like just before nine, like that! You don’t need a blow-by-blow of […]

Joe does not want to inhale your flattery, NAACP — oh who’s he kidding? Of course he does, and he will hand some right back. He sat in, he’s a lifelong member of the NAACP, and he has gotten in PERSONAL TROUBLE with every single person in there, with hijinks! FOX HEADLINE: Joe Biden admits […]