Tag Archives: liquor

  beer bullets and bereavement

Fancy New South Dakota Bar Would Let You Shoot Both Liquor And Guns

From the ever-growing “What Could Possibly Go Wrong” division of GunAmerica, we have a super-safe idea: why not put a bar and a gun range in the same location? We know, right? Great idea! Why hasn’t anyone ever thought of this before? What could be safer than dragging your weapons to a gun range plopped right smack dab in the middle of a bar? Gun fetishists need a watering hole where they can lay their hats and get their mitts on some weaponry, and since Toby Keith went all pussified and won’t even let a man bring his got-damn weapon into the place, South Dakota is going to step up and show everybody how it is done. Read more on Fancy New South Dakota Bar Would Let You Shoot Both Liquor And Guns…
  our long national nightmare was finally over

Celebrate The 80th Anniversary Of The Repeal Of Prohibition In Style With Your Happy and Wonkette Writers

Today is a great day in American history, a day that ranks up there with July 4th and whatever day the Constitutional Convention was held and Christmas and that day you take off in the middle of August when there hasn’t been a holiday in SO LONG. Yes, we’re talking about the day Prohibition ended. Celebrate! Good Times! America, fuck yeah! Read more on Celebrate The 80th Anniversary Of The Repeal Of Prohibition In Style With Your Happy and Wonkette Writers…
  the cause of and solution to all diplomatic problems

Obama’s State Department Full Of Gutter Alcoholics

We are in the wrong bidness. For serious, we thought that blogging meant we could be drunk all the time (check), work in our pajamas (check), and rant semi-coherently with terible grammer (check and check). BUT YOU GUYS, we are officially quitting and joining the State Department, because you gotta see their benefits. As the government shutdown neared, the State Department splurged on $180,000 worth of liquor. Booze. Mommyblogger’s little helper. Whatever you want to call it. And that’s only PART of their liquor total for the year, which topped $400,000. Fuck this blogging shit — we are moving to Foggy Bottom to live the good life with Secretary Kerry.  Read more on Obama’s State Department Full Of Gutter Alcoholics…
  first lady recipes

Now We Shall Repost Ken Layne’s Repost Of Juli Weiner’s Writeup Of Betty Ford’s Boozy Chocolate Cake

Who can forget this classic Thanksgiving liquor cake recipe from First Lady Betty Ford? Our dearly departed Juli Weiner wrote this up several Thanksgivings ago, and we still reprint it every year, even though now she makes Harry Potter slash fiction photo-comics for Vanity Fair: Here is one for the “chocoholics,” starring Betty Ford! It’s a Chocolate Icebox Dessert, and while it SOUNDS racist, that is just because of all the liquor. Read more on Now We Shall Repost Ken Layne’s Repost Of Juli Weiner’s Writeup Of Betty Ford’s Boozy Chocolate Cake…
  first lady recipes

Now We Shall Repost Ken Layne’s Repost Of Juli Weiner’s Writeup Of Betty Ford’s Boozy Chocolate Cake

Who can forget this classic Thanksgiving liquor cake recipe from First Lady Betty Ford? Our dearly departed Juli Weiner wrote this up several Thanksgivings ago, and we still reprint it every year, even though now she makes Harry Potter slash fiction photo-comics for Vanity Fair: Here is one for the “chocoholics,” starring Betty Ford! It’s a Chocolate Icebox Dessert, and while it SOUNDS racist, that is just because of all the liquor. Read more on Now We Shall Repost Ken Layne’s Repost Of Juli Weiner’s Writeup Of Betty Ford’s Boozy Chocolate Cake…
  war is hell

Minnesota’s Booze Supply Latest Horrifying Casualty of Shutdown

NOW IT IS SERIOUS. As “the eternal winter of war” continues to defecate all over the once-pristine state of Minnesota, we are hearing terrifying news reports that Minnesota’s liquor is running out. Nobody is able get their state-issued liquor purchasing cards renewed, so we suggest that anyone still alive at this hour over there should probably leave work right now to get to the bars, as this whole situation is about to get a lot worse, possibly even like “Utah worse.” Professional sports, meaningless office jobs, summer school, pub trivia and sex are all canceled as a result. Read more on Minnesota’s Booze Supply Latest Horrifying Casualty of Shutdown…
 

Metro Section: A Weekend of Uncut Funk

* And the owners of Rumors, Millie and Al’s, Madhatter, and Front Page breathe a sigh of relief. [DC Bachelor] * Point. Counter Point. [Another Day in DC] * Yeah, legalize it! Yea, huh huh. Let’s blaze brah, and hopefully the tetrahydrocannabinol will inhibit tumor angiogenesis and prevent us from getting glioblastoma multiforme. [Articulatory Loop] Read more on Metro Section: A Weekend of Uncut Funk…
 

Wonkette Party Crash: Sports Talk With Carville and Russert fils

So, you ladies want your own radio show? We weren’t expecting too much when we were invited to a party at the XM Satellite Radio studios — big brick building in an ugly part of town, people not attractive enough for real radio, etc. — but the soirée was sponsored by Capitol File and it was for the spawn of Tim Russert, so it was packed fulla the media elite and their hangers-on, dressed in a confused amalgam of fancy and casual that DC still can’t quite pull off. Still, we had a good time — mostly because the open bar was one the best-stocked we’ve seen so far (Makers! Beam Black! Turkey!), but also because James Carville kind of hit us on the shoulder and growled something unintelligible-but-maybe-threatening as he passed by us to refill his drink. Our full report, complete with exclusive pictures from Liz Gorman, Intrepid Girl Reporter, after the jump. Read more on Wonkette Party Crash: Sports Talk With Carville and Russert fils…
 

PAC the Courvoisier

ONCE AGAIN: We need to get us a PAC. Brand-new disclosure reports filed with the FEC show that the new House majority leader, John Boehner of Ohio, or his representatives, spent $1,465 at Schneider’s [liquor store] on Feb. 3. Just a day earlier, Boehner had been elected to the mighty leadership post, so a celebration was in order. The bill was paid by The Freedom Project, Boehner’s leadership PAC.[…]Boehner’s Freedom Project, however, appears to be the store’s best congressional customer in 2006. Read more on PAC the Courvoisier…
 

A Cause We’d Also Like to See Hitch Orgnize A Rally For

A representative of “The Distilled Spirits Council of the Untied States” (can we please score an invite to one of your council meetings?), guessing (quite correctly) that he’d found a loyal ally in Wonkette, just sent us a press release responding to (or correcting, sort of?) a 20/20 piece that hasn’t actually aired yet. Because we believe very strongly in the mission of the good people at the Distilled Spirits Council, we’d like to point you to their letter to ABC. Read more on A Cause We’d Also Like to See Hitch Orgnize A Rally For…