Wonkette

Some mysterious ladies in Wasilla sent us a Creepy Rumor a few weeks ago about Sarah Palin’s infamous lipstick, which is not lipstick on a pig (which is sexist), but lipstick used to distinguish a “hockey mom” from a murderous trailer-park dog who eats children. The rumor: It’s not even lipstick on Palin’s smug, dumb face. It’s a white-trash tattoo that is tattooed on the mouth, yuck. Well, the mystery has yet to be solved, etc., but it has at least inspired a fun photo quiz game thing so you can waste a few moments of your doomed life trying to figure out if this tattoo rumor is maybe true. Ugh. [Huffington Post]

Vice presidential candidate Sarah Palin visited some tragic retirement community in Florida on Sunday to receive the ceremonial Giant Pink Dildo of Fate. It is considered “safe” because it does not contain melamine. Thanks to Mark for bringing this throbbing 4-foot penis to our attention. UPDATE: MORE »

Someone asked John McCain at a deal today whether or not Barack Obama was calling Sarah Palin a pig last week when he was not doing that. McCain responded “no,” and added — as he did on The View last week — that Obama “chooses his words very carefully” and shouldn’t have said that. We half-agree with Walnuts here! It probably was a deliberate word choice in order to bait McCain into responding like a nutcase, which he frequently does due to his old age. So Barack Obama shouldn’t have said that, you see, because he knew all along that it would damage his opposition. [Jonathan Martin]

Silly Meghan McCain, has her father taught her nothing about telling terrible lies as a means of achievement? Because when some reporter asked her about Pigdildostickgate and whether she thought Barack Obama was calling Sarah Palin a pig (btw, why do reporters have to ask people this question when it’s an established fact that Barack Obama didn’t?), she said she didn’t and — here’s the good part — “I’ve heard my dad say that, the term ‘lipstick on a pig.’” Meghan you are OUT OF YOUR ELEMENT! We expect a McCain rapid response statement shortly saying, “John McCain does not care about his fucking stupid daughter’s sexist opinion.” [The Hill]

Oh dudes here is a SCURRILOUS RUMOR we just received, possibly from somebody in America’s Meth/Tattoo Capital of Wasilla, Alaska. The email is, uh, difficult to follow. But the central claim is this: Sarah Palin doesn’t even put that lipstick on her mouth, because it’s a TATTOO. Oh jesus christ, she is so gross, especially if this is true. MORE »

Here’s the stupidest piece of fucking bullshit the McCain campaign has released since, well, that last one that said Barack Obama molests 4-year-olds in the ass. It’s kind of funny, though, watching people across the Internet wail about how this ad IS NOT TRUTHFUL!!!1!, because what’s the point? Why even bother fact-checking a McCain ad? Each one is the precise audio-visual manifestation of Lie. And Barack Obama should expect this and BE MORE CAREFUL-ER, dingus. MORE »