California has two terrific Sanchez Sisters in Congress, and one of them is illegally having a bastard child soon! Rep. Linda Sanchez, D-Sodom & Gomorrah, is expecting a new little Sanchez soon, and it was fathered by babymama Jim Sullivan, her longtime boyfriend. Happy whatever you call this, Congresslady Linda! Also we have not heard from “the crazier one,” Loretta Sanchez, in quite a while — but we know Rep. Loretta’s weird new Christmas card should be in our mailbox pretty soon! [Reliable Source via "Lily E."]

Lou Dobbs is right! The American people are ill-served by their representatives starting all these caucuses that represent them! MORE »

Loretta Sanchez quit the House Hispanic Caucus last January, because its head, Joe Baca, called her a “whore” (allegedly, but he totally did). MORE »

* Heard on the Hill: Rep. Linda Sánchez judged a “best package” contest at Cobalt last week… Sex-starved middle-aged Washington women swooned over Richard Gere at the Old Ebbitt Grill… HoH columnist Mary Ann Akers is moving to Washingtonpost.com. [Roll Call]
* Reliable Source: Reliable Source readers vote Cynthia McKinney’s Cap Police beatdown the best Washington Gossip of ‘06. [WP]
* Yeas and Nays: Congressional offices all pretending they’re not betting like fiends on today’s Florida/OSU game, though Deborah Pryce and Adam Putnam have some sort of “betting for little kids” candy-vs.-pie thing going on… 300 old people protested AEI… Nancy Pelosi washes own hair at Salon! [Examiner]
* Washington Whispers: Former Post-ites turned Politico anchors John Harris and Jim VandHei smoke lots and lots of weed while discussing future of journalism… Arnold Schwarzenegger is eying Barbara Boxer’s seat, if you know what we mean. [USN&WR]

It’s a new year in Wonk’d but all the famous-for-dc cats have already broken their resolutions. Laura Bush only made it 3 days before she was back on the sauce, Robert Novak may have been at the happiest place on Earth, but he was still an asshole, and of course there’s Katherine Harris, as you can see, taking to the streets of Florida during the warmest winter ever, in an ankle length fur coat. You get these dandies plus a Member of Congress who loves to stare at members of men, after you unzip.

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• Reliable Source: Linda Sanchez is very funny. We were there and Grover Norquist wuz robbed… “Reliable Source” would not out anyone, unless it somehow involves Cafe Milano. [WP]
• Yeas and Nays: Bill Maher, who creeps us out, enjoys Washington’s many fine strip clubs… Chris Matthews is finally silenced, but unfortunately it’s by Robin Williams. [Examiner]
• Rush and Molloy: Dennis Hastert was forced to cancel a fundraiser at 21. Due to secret gay shame. Or something. [NYDN]

And the House of Representatives moves one step further away from the 1950’s: MORE »

We regret missing the “Washington’s Funniest Celebrity Contest,” though we can’t say the coverage makes us miss it a lot. The Reliable Source advised many to “keep their day jobs,” while FishbowlDC wondered, “We’re supposed to be laughing with, not at, them, right?” But what were people expecting? It’s the least surprising discovery of bombs since Judith Miller turned in her notes from Iraq.

Our Low Expectations Operative filed a report.

Fashion-wise: “many icky polyester sheaths, complete with pantylines. yikes.”

“The winner, Brian Baird’s impersonation, depended on the same joke (3 times). Putting up a graph of (gas prices/unemployment, etc.) on their side, so that they look like they are going down, instead of up. While funny, not incredibly creative… the MAYOR was the funniest person in the room. by far. who knew? First joke was just up your alley: ‘Okay, you all better put down those wine glasses, because I’ve got police positioned on the street.’”

Also funny: “Linda Sanchez dating a first responder who turned out to be a ‘premature responder.’”

More highlights after the jump.

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