Tag Archives: linda mcmahon

  rubbers and rubber checks

Classy Wrasslin’ Two-Time-Loser Lady Linda McMahon Stiffs Staff, Invites It To Screw Itself

Hmmm, it looks like your Wonkette didn’t bother to write even the littlest thing about two-time-Senate-loser and Wrasslin’ Lady Linda McMahon this time around, probably because we had used up all our folding-chair jokes the first time around, and also probably because we didn’t care. But in fact, it is AFTER her (second) loss that Linda McMahon has become interesting! And how has she done that? Well, once she’d blown $100 million of her own money on her two (losing) campaigns, it seems she didn’t have enough left over to pay the uniformly low-income and African American folks who had been her (low-wage) fake-supporters, so they just waited and waited. But then they told the press “hey this rich lady isn’t bothering to pay us!” So THEN they got checks with a condom in the envelope, so’s they could fuck themselves! AND THEN THE CHECKS BOUNCED ANYWAY. Oh man. Read more on Classy Wrasslin’ Two-Time-Loser Lady Linda McMahon Stiffs Staff, Invites It To Screw Itself…
  because didn't thomas jefferson wear a wig?

Connecticut Voters Allowed To Dress Like Idiots At the Polls

In other “November is our N word” election news: CEO of fake wrestling/Linda McMahon’s husband “Mr. McMahon” filed a very serious lawsuit, because he was worried that teenagers wearing WWE spandex thongs wouldn’t be allowed to vote — you know, since people dressed like idiots might be considered “political advertising” for Linda McMahon. Anyway, Vince McMahon won his frivolous lawsuit. Yippee, feel free to dress up as “The Ass Demolisher” or whatever those silly WWE spandex men are called! This is just another example of activist judges legislating from the bench. What’s next? Do the gay people in New York get to wear their assless chaps to the polls, even though this would obviously be illegal political advertising for Carl Paladino? Of course. In Barack Obama’s America, No means Yes and Yes means Assless Chaps. Read more on Connecticut Voters Allowed To Dress Like Idiots At the Polls…
  it's morning in america

Wrestling Lady & Fake Vietnam Veteran Do Fake Wrestling For CT

A couple of sketchy Connecticut politicians battled by cue cards last night, in hopes of winning an all-expenses-paid six-year vacation with Joe Lieberman. Who were our lucky contestants? There’s Attorney “Four Star” General Richard Blumenthal, who previously got in a bit of trouble for claiming to be Vietnam, which is a blatant exaggeration. And then there’s Republican Linda McMahon, who in her former CEO life peddled “men in spandex, pretending to kill each other on teevee” to your impressionable, now brain-dead children. They mostly argued about our terrible economy, and Blumenthal even asked McMahon why Stone Cold Steve Austin action figurines are not manufactured in the good ol’ USA, to which McMahon obviously replied “because you commie liberals won’t let businesses use child slave labor.” Read more on Wrestling Lady & Fake Vietnam Veteran Do Fake Wrestling For CT… Read more on Wrestling Lady & Fake Vietnam Veteran Do Fake Wrestling For CT…
  bachmann intoxication

We Will Liveblog Tonight Until America Hurts From Too Much Freedom

Important primaries are happening right now in Georgia, Connecticut, Minnesota and Colorado, which are states that have little in common except that their voting robots all decided today was the day to provide sham “primary elections” to their states’ non-lizard-people. Will human vanilla bean Sen. Michael Bennet be able to hold off his challenger Andrew Romanoff? Will Michele Bachmann win her primary in Minnesota and thus be eligible to be re-raptured to Washington in November? Read more on We Will Liveblog Tonight Until America Hurts From Too Much Freedom…
  Better than 'The Karate Kid'

Linda McMahon Will Kick Your Junk, For Liberalism

Connecticut GOP Senate candidate Peter Schiff is trying to raise enough funds to educate the good people of the Nutmeg State about his primary opponent, wrestling lady Linda McMahon, and her out-of-control, crotch-kicking ways. This information could save thousands of Republican men from making unwanted trips to the testicle doctor. Read more on Linda McMahon Will Kick Your Junk, For Liberalism…
  bursting through the walls of congress

Linda McMahon To Win the Ladiez Vote With Illogical Ad

This conversation doesn’t really follow a logical path, but that must be because your afternoon editor is a “man” and cannot understand this sort of ladies’ bathroom talk. At the very least, Republican Senate candidate Linda McMahon will win the pivotal Connecticut Kool-Aid Man vote. “Ohhhhhhhhhh yeah!” [via Newell] Read more on Linda McMahon To Win the Ladiez Vote With Illogical Ad…
  america's top dawg

Joe Lieberman Enjoys Whining To Public About Difficult Endorsements He Faces

Self-centered alien turd Joe Lieberman is so happy that there’s a Connecticut Senate race not involving him right now! Why? Because now he gets to be back in the spotlight over which candidate he’ll endorse: Richard Blumenthal, who’s a pretty good candidate (aside from his Vietnam bullshitting) as well as a member of the same Democratic party that gives Joe Lieberman power and chairmanships, or Linda McMahon, an entitled rich political-nobody who runs the most disgusting, immoral fake-athletic entertainment scam in America. It’s such a tough decision for Joe, and he wants to tell you how tough this decision is for him, as many times as possible. Read more on Joe Lieberman Enjoys Whining To Public About Difficult Endorsements He Faces…
  meet your candidates

BEST REAGAN USAGE OF THE DAY: Linda McMahon, who owns the beloved pro wrestling organization WWE with her strange husband Vince, is running for the Republican Senate nomination in Connecticut. When asked how she balances her Political Values with the fact that she runs the most overtly trashy company in America, she just started babbling about Ronald Reagan, as Republicans tend to do: “If he had played a comedic standup person who did slapstick, do you think that’s how he’d operate in the presidency?” Does she really want an answer to that? [Glenn Thrush] Read more on …
  and now we get lunch

WWE Wrestling Lady Will Be The New Chris Dodd

Linda McMahon, who runs a friendly wrestling company out of Connecticut with her husband, Vince, will run as a Republican for Chris Dodd’s Senate seat in 2010. Whatever. Here she is in a wrestling video getting struck with a move called, “The Standing-69 Gone Wrong.” [MoJo] Read more on WWE Wrestling Lady Will Be The New Chris Dodd…