Even though Presidential candidate Barack “Barry Hussein” Obama maybe didn’t do as many drugs in high school and college as he said he did–leading many, of course, to wonder if he’s really the truth-teller America needs in the White House right now–he is still on record as being a fan of the cocaine. And you know who else is? His new friend Lincoln Chafee, the most lovable Fraggle ever elected to the Senate! MORE »

*AH, THAT LOSER FROM RHODE ISLAND:* Former Republican Sen. Lincoln Chafee of Rhode Island, who lost his Senate seat last year solely because he was a Republican, has endorsed Barack Obama. Those -2 Rhode Island delegates are all yours, Barry. [TPM Election Central]

To update our earlier “well sourced” post — based on a single e-mail and a NewsMax link — we can now somewhat confirm that John Bolton is going to spend a lot more time with Don Rumsfeld’s family. MORE »

Wolf Blitzer just reported on Lincoln Cheney and his terrible defeat in Rhode Island. MORE »

• Rhode Island’s 15 minutes of fame are up as maverick Senator Lincoln Chafee wins GOP primary. [WP, NYT, USAT]

• Michael Chertoff tells congress that the US cannot “defend ourselves against every conceivable threat.” Nation’s petting zoos and popcorn factories now totally unprotected. [NYT]
• Hillary Clinton wins primary in a cakewalk, eats no actual cake. [NYT]
• Democrats feel NSA is inappropriately advocating it’s own spying program. [WP]
• Maryland elections display DC levels of logistical incompetence. [WP]
• States taking it upon themselves to increase minimum wage, “for the first time, a majority of states could require higher pay than the federal rate.” [USAT]
• Diplomacy now so obsolete reporters forced to write about who’s doing Condi this week. [NYT]
• Adrian Fenty will be next mayor of DC. [WP]

Providence Journal photo by Gretchen Ertl MORE »

Chaos in Rhode Island! More electoral fraud from the smallest, but most brutal of all states! Hotline reports the Chafee campaign’s desperate plea: MORE »

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Reuters reports that current UN envoy John Bolton will not get his Senate confirmation vote any time soon. Basically, Lincoln Chafee can’t vote against the guy before his primary against that real Republican, and without Chafee, there’s no confirmation. MORE »

We haven’t paid much attention to the primary challenge against moderate Republican Senator Lincoln Chafee — mostly because, for reasons known only to Marc Ambinder and Mark Halperin, it has not become the media clusterfuck that was the Lamont v. Lieberman debacle — but we learned in a “Rhode Island” “newspaper” (how cute!) today all about Chafee’s right-wing challenger, Stephen P. Laffey (pictured right: Laffey’s son sporting Soviet iconography).

As a student at Bowdoin College a generation ago, Cranston Mayor Stephen P. Laffey wrote humor columns for a campus newspaper that even he now acknowledges could be construed as homophobic.

We think the Providence Journal is a bit confused. Because while said columns could definitely be construed as “homophobic” (”All the homosexuals I’ve seen are sickly and decrepit, their eyes devoid of life.” Has the man never watched The Match Game?), they are not actually “humorous.” None of the quoted lines or the entire column reprinted in an addendum are, in any way, funny. The misunderstanding may have arisen due to Mr. Laffey’s last name, which resembles the common English term for the sound made a person experiencing “humor.” That is really the only explanation for the author’s constant insistence that this was a “humor column.” Buddy, most college humor columns aren’t funny, sure, but they do have jokes in them. Unlike Laffey’s. Don’t take our word for it, either — we’ve reprinted a column after the jump. You’ll find it, on the humor scale, somewhere between Where the Red Fern Grows and Matt Cooper.

Homphobia (also expressed: a desire to break Boy George’s ribs — it is known now that it is much, much funnier to break his spirit) aside, we cannot endorse a candidate in this crucial Senate race until we find some evidence that incumbent Lincoln Chafee is funny.

Laffey Penned Anti-Gay Columns in College [ProJo]

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And then there was Lincoln Chafee, The Reluctant Senator. From today’s Wall Street Journal:

In many ways, Mr. Chafee’s struggle is of his own making. Besides opposing the war, he voted against some Bush tax cuts, citing deficit concerns. He opposed Supreme Court Justice Samuel Alito’s appointment because he was convinced the jurist would be hostile to abortion rights. And he let it be known that he didn’t vote to re-elect the president, writing in former President George H. W. Bush instead.

“I knew this was coming from way back,” says Mr. Chafee, at an outdoor festival in Cumberland. “The president’s agenda, for better or worse, motivates the party base. I’ve been hearing from them for the last five years.”

To stem the damage, Mr. Chafee has been a regular at Republican spaghetti dinners and diner breakfasts. Even so, he isn’t “overly optimistic” that he has persuaded many of them, he says.

Chafee is perhaps the senator least suited for Washington life since Eugene McCarthy skipped roll call votes to write poetry in his office. This from the New York Times last week:

Compared with many colleagues in the Senate, Mr. Chafee, 53, keeps a low profile, and campaigning does not seem second nature to him. Stopping to buy lemonade from a truck, he asks the attendant about the book she is reading. Only after tipping her and turning away does he toss over his shoulder, “Vote Chafee!”

Wonkette proudly presents the first installment of The Secret Lives Of Senators: Lincoln Chafee On The Campaign Trail. Read it after the jump:

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