It is truly remarkable that the most effective dismisser of a Hillary Clinton lie this campaign season has been Sinbad, the comedian who can most generously be described as “the poor man’s Arsenio Hall.” Sinbad — with his role in challenging Clinton about the nature of a 1996 joint trip to Bosnia — has courageously realized that if he can’t be funny himself, he can make Hillary Clinton the funniest person in the world. Hillary said just this week about the trip, “I remember landing under sniper fire. There was supposed to be some kind of a greeting ceremony at the airport, but instead we just ran with our heads down to get into the vehicles to get to our base.” Now watch this delightful piece of YouTube that is making the rounds. Maybe… maybe that little girl on the tarmac was packing heat! Throw her under the bus! [via Washington Post]

Three British cheers to the Guardian for reading millions of newly released pages of Hillary Clinton’s First Lady schedules. They’ve excavated the first few morsels of hilarity in what’s guaranteed to be a goldmine:

On the day that dozens of US cruise missiles rained down on Serbia in an attempt to punish Yugoslav president Slobodan Milosevic for the country’s onslaught against ethnic Albanian separatists in Kosovo, first lady Hillary Clinton was far from the White House war room: instead she was touring ancient Egyptian ruins, including King Tut’s tomb and the temple of Hatshepsut. And on the day before the signing of the Good Friday agreement in Belfast she was at an event called “Hats on for Bella” in Washington.

Maybe when she says “I’m running for president” she’s also lying; she’s actually been touring the Grand Canyon for the last 14 months. [Guardian]

You know that congressman from Arizona who brought shame on his family of 12 children when he got indicted today in some very complicated scheme that had, unfortunately, nothing to do with attractive lobbyists or underaged congressional pages? Well, there are two things that make his long-anticipated “fall from grace” hilarious even if this scandal is not terribly sexy, gross, or weird. MORE »

Thanks to the Washington Post’s new “Fact Checker” feature, we know that when Fred Thompson claimed that more Americans “have shed more blood for other people’s liberty than any other combination of nations in the history of the world,” he wasn’t making any goddamn sense at all. [WP]

Oh right, so the President’s Iraq talk. We were at a party, we did not actually watch it, but we read the transcript. Or at least the Washington Post’s summary of the transcript. The first couple paragraphs, anyway. It’s all pretty confusing! MORE »

Yesterday Arlen Specter told everyone that he wouldn’t comment on Alberto Gonzales until Tuesday afternoon, when the White House would send him a very special letter explaining that Gonzo didn’t lie about anything. Specter gave the White House until noon to deliver this letter, which would be full of fun surprises and he’d release it to the media for all of us to enjoy. It’s a little after three now, and the funny thing is, there’s no letter!

According to Leahy’s office, the letter hasn’t arrived yet. No one knows yet if this is because the administration is refusing to comply or because they’re just really backed up right now and they’ll get to it later. Probably the first one, though.

Specter hasn’t said what he’s going to do about this yet, but if past performance is any indication, he’ll kinda bitch about it and then he’ll roll right over.

We’ve taken the liberty of writing our own letter, so Arlen doesn’t feel so bad about being ignored.

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Now the Senate wants to go after Gonzo! While the House is trying to find him in Contempt of Congress, Senators are asking the Solicitor General to appoint an independent counsel to figure out if Al perjured himself when he lied, repeatedly, under oath. They’re asking the Solicitor General because all Justice Department officials have recused themselves. MORE »

In the first reported case ever of John Negroponte being vaguely (if inadvertently) involved in something that could, in the long run, maybe be vaguely good for democracy, a letter from him presents yet more proof that Attorney General Alberto Gonzales is a liar. MORE »

Mitt Romney, a rich liberal who lives in Massachusetts, has a problem: he wants to be the Republican nominee for President, but he’s barely ever killed anything. MORE »

Each week, the Comics Curmudgeon helps explain Today’s Cartoons.

Of course, we don’t mind it if political cartoonists take certain … liberties with things. We know that Bill Clinton doesn’t really always have lipstick on his collar, for instance, and that Hillary Clinton doesn’t really wear dominatrix gear, at least not at campaign events. These are less lies than symbolic overrepresentation in the service of a higher truth.

Sometimes, though, political cartoons present us with out-and-out falsehoods, vile lies that subvert the very notion of truth, and this we cannot allow to stand. This week, Cartoon Violence pulls aside the curtain and reveals this fraudulent scribblers for what they are.

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Quick-witted police officers in Connecticut finally took down the lawless fugitive who’s been operating terrorizing America for the last 6 years. Dick Cheney was spotted driving recklessly through Long Beach Monday night, and once police finally got him to pull over, they were forced to stun him before they could get him into custody. Not even a stun gun can stop Cheney’s pathological lying, though, so the veep continued leading police on even while in their custody. MORE »