lies

First, a disclaimer: We, like you, are so. Fucking. Tired! of Benghazi. If Republicans had just taken our advice, they would not be suffering in the polls because they are wasting everyone’s time, and we would not be weeping into our latte because we have to keep struggling to wring a few drops of funny [...]

When you are saying what we are saying, right up there in the headline what you just read, and which is that journamalism hero and staple of J-school classes but everywhere Bob Woodward is a worse hack than Ghost Andrew Breitbart’s Little Goebbels sextivist James O’Keefe and Ghost Andrew Breitbart’s very own Friend of Hamas [...]

Oh dear, whom is Democratic Congressman (and MOOSLIM NEVAR FORGET!!!1!) Keith Ellison calling a low-life scumbag today? None other than Scumbaggitty. Civility! To the fainting couch! Someone alert Jon Stewart, the tone has become Untoward! Above, you’ll find TalkingPointsMemo’s supercut of the interview, where right out the gate, with a delighted smile on his face, [...]

You likely remember David Mamet for writing a bunch of pretty good stuff that never quite got over the top to greatness, like Wag the Dog and State and Main. If not that, then you should know him for having sex with some lady to create Zosia Mamet, who plays Shoshanna on Girls. (Shoshanna is the [...]

Known government-teat succubus Michelle Obama showed up to the first night of the DNC in a shiny frock, much like the shiny frocks worn by Target addicted upwardly-mobile assholes who park their Camrys like they’re BMWs at your local Pier 1. (Joking, who goes to Pier 1?) Allegedly, this dress cost around $400 or so. [...]

In the hours since his acceptance speech last night, the lies of lying liar Paul Ryan have been well-documented — but what the hell, let’s recap them anyway!

Kevin Yoder, fourth from right, naked as Yahweh made him. UPDATED Multiple people are writing in to tell Your Editrix she is the worst reporter in the world — no argument — and that our EXCLUSIVE Kevin Yoder pic is in fact of Rep. Tom Graves of Georgia. If this is true, and there will [...]

Oh how precious, NPR thinks that Mitt Romney will stop running around lying to everyone’s face about welfare reform if only he is presented with the “facts.” But like most “severe conservatives,” Romney knows you can use facts to prove anything that’s even REMOTELY true — and even things that aren’t!

Wasilla, Alaska, city councilman and state House candidate Mark Ewing is sorry, but if nobody else is going to make the tough choices, he will be the one to stand up and say it: Stop wasting tax money sending disabled kids to school! “We are spending millions and millions of dollars educating children that have [...]

We bet any minute Aaron Sorkin will come out with a Newsroom episode about the very special time in October 2010 when Zooey Deschanel’s younger twin sister, Paul Ryan, denied having asked for stimulus funds like Peter denied Christ. But — whoa! — would you guess that before flat-out denying that he’d lobbied for stimulus [...]

Did you know that Barack Obama hates the US military soooo much that he is trying to take away their voting rights? Mitt Romney said it, so it is a thing that could possibly have been true! (Haha, no it isn’t.) Yes, according to Old Mr. “You’ll Just Have to Trust Me,” the Barack Obama [...]

PALM BEACH, Fla. – Willard Romney took a moment out of his daily dog and pony show to deliver some real ideas a la Romney. This wasn’t a typical Romnification of bullshit jib jab. These were actual ideas coming from the Republican contender. This was a closed-door fundraiser that was held by some of Romney’s [...]

Lord Ahmed of Rotherham, a suspiciously Muslin-sounding Labour peer, was suspended last night after allegedly claiming he would put up a £10million bounty for the capture of Barack Obama, for pallin’ around with terrists and also for putting up a $10 million bounty of his own for Hafiz Muhammed Saeed, the alleged orchestrator of the [...]

The year: 2004. The place: Grand Central Art Center in Santa Ana, California. The occasion: the “private” opening for an ironic showing of Thomas Kinkade’s Christian-fished, trademark-marked work with select important people (at the time, your editrix was an art critic and thusly very important) and 300 or so of Thomas Kinkade’s closest fans, who [...]

“Wanta dah moolee-rah, Han Solo,” the Hutt said. Meanwhile, while you are transfixed by the thought of take a magic sex bus journey into those undulating folds, Chris Christie is telling lies so he too can screw the union workers of his state.


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