lies
Republicans Fabricated Smoking Gun Emails They Maybe Illegally Leaked; Forgot To Add Smoking Gun
First, a disclaimer: We, like you, are so. Fucking. Tired! of Benghazi. If Republicans had just taken our advice, they would not be suffering in the polls because they are wasting everyone’s time, and we would not be weeping into our latte because we have to keep struggling to wring a few drops of funny [...]
Bob Woodward Hereby Sentenced To Remedial Journalism School For Treason To The Fourth Estate
When you are saying what we are saying, right up there in the headline what you just read, and which is that journamalism hero and staple of J-school classes but everywhere Bob Woodward is a worse hack than Ghost Andrew Breitbart’s Little Goebbels sextivist James O’Keefe and Ghost Andrew Breitbart’s very own Friend of Hamas [...]
John Sununu Knows The Real Story Behind Michelle Obama’s Dress
Known government-teat succubus Michelle Obama showed up to the first night of the DNC in a shiny frock, much like the shiny frocks worn by Target addicted upwardly-mobile assholes who park their Camrys like they’re BMWs at your local Pier 1. (Joking, who goes to Pier 1?) Allegedly, this dress cost around $400 or so. [...]
The Lying Lies of Paul Ryan, Who Lies
In the hours since his acceptance speech last night, the lies of lying liar Paul Ryan have been well-documented — but what the hell, let’s recap them anyway!
Exclusive! Here is Your Picture Of Kevin Yoder All Nude-Like In The Sea Of Galilee, Wait No It Isn’t
Kevin Yoder, fourth from right, naked as Yahweh made him. UPDATED Multiple people are writing in to tell Your Editrix she is the worst reporter in the world — no argument — and that our EXCLUSIVE Kevin Yoder pic is in fact of Rep. Tom Graves of Georgia. If this is true, and there will [...]
Wasilla Gentleman Almost Definitely Wouldn’t Lock Disabled Children In The Attic
Wasilla, Alaska, city councilman and state House candidate Mark Ewing is sorry, but if nobody else is going to make the tough choices, he will be the one to stand up and say it: Stop wasting tax money sending disabled kids to school! “We are spending millions and millions of dollars educating children that have [...]
Mitt Romney Accidentally Gives Details On Something, Somewhere, To Someone
PALM BEACH, Fla. – Willard Romney took a moment out of his daily dog and pony show to deliver some real ideas a la Romney. This wasn’t a typical Romnification of bullshit jib jab. These were actual ideas coming from the Republican contender. This was a closed-door fundraiser that was held by some of Romney’s [...]
The Time ‘World’s Most Collected Painter’ Thomas Kinkade, Who Is Dead Now, Lied To Us About The NEA
The year: 2004. The place: Grand Central Art Center in Santa Ana, California. The occasion: the “private” opening for an ironic showing of Thomas Kinkade’s Christian-fished, trademark-marked work with select important people (at the time, your editrix was an art critic and thusly very important) and 300 or so of Thomas Kinkade’s closest fans, who [...]
Chris Christie Responds To Rampant Speculation He Is ‘Hot and Sexy’
“Wanta dah moolee-rah, Han Solo,” the Hutt said. Meanwhile, while you are transfixed by the thought of take a magic sex bus journey into those undulating folds, Chris Christie is telling lies so he too can screw the union workers of his state.
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