Sarah Palin’s in the news, everyone! For, let’s see here, lying. While most of her recent lies have been about covering up how that young man, Levi, this one is about how she told the media that she thought Sen. Mark Begich should resign so there can be a “fair” election between him and the very innocent Ted Stevens. The lie she’s telling, of course, is that she NEVER SAID THIS. MORE »

• NICE TRY, FRAUDBOT: Oh looky, she’s changed her story: “The student, Ashley Todd, of College Station, Texas, initially said a black man robbed her at knifepoint Wednesday night and then cut her cheek after seeing a McCain sticker on her car. Police say bank surveillance footage doesn’t show her at an ATM where she says she was attacked. Todd, who is white, now says she was knocked unconscious and doesn’t remember being cut. She now says she only discovered the wound later.” She is the President of Lies. [AP]

Ha ha, remember last Friday, before every bank in America liquidated and the New Depression kicked in and we had to boil our dogs for sustenance? Back in those innocent times, people were still fretting about how John McCain — a man who built a lifetime career on doing shitty things like leaving his crippled wife, consorting with S&L crooks, pandering to racists, and spewing foul invective at anyone who dared question his Honor — was suddenly not acting like his noble old self. So Richard Cohen is really only about 72 hours behind the curve on this one. MORE »

Silly Meghan McCain, has her father taught her nothing about telling terrible lies as a means of achievement? Because when some reporter asked her about Pigdildostickgate and whether she thought Barack Obama was calling Sarah Palin a pig (btw, why do reporters have to ask people this question when it’s an established fact that Barack Obama didn’t?), she said she didn’t and — here’s the good part — “I’ve heard my dad say that, the term ‘lipstick on a pig.’” Meghan you are OUT OF YOUR ELEMENT! We expect a McCain rapid response statement shortly saying, “John McCain does not care about his fucking stupid daughter’s sexist opinion.” [The Hill]

Beware. John McCain’s BRUTAL NO-HOLDS-BARRED RESPONSE AD OF DEATH about TONY REZKO is out, and you better be SCARED. Ha ha just kidding, it sucks. The ad distills Obama’s naive but benign relationship with Rezko into a more familiar, corrupt politician’s narrative: (1) Rezko bought Obama a house, so (2) Obama returned the favor by giving him $14 million in taxpayer money! Since this is a horrible lie, the narrator doesn’t actually say this, just chooses words that sound like he’s saying this. Too bad no one will ever care about this. [YouTube]

Thieving drug-addict beer heiress Cindy McCain can’t even keep her Third World Orphan Hunting stories straight! Both Cindy and the McCain campaign have repeatedly put out this story about Cindy traveling the world to laugh at poor people but then Mother Teresa said “Adopt these orphans you must,” and then Cindy adopted a couple of orphans, forgetting one on the plane and raising the other as Meghan’s unwanted little sister. But this, too, is a lie, as Cindy McCain has never met Mother Teresa. [Crooks and Liars/AMERICAblog]

In the third sentence of his column today, New York Times “lightning rod conservative” Bill Kristol hilariously calls himself “your diligent columnist.” This, perhaps knowingly, wonderfully set up his weekly error and scandalous cover-up. MORE »

The only thing that would cheer us up if Bill Kristol loses next year’s Pulitzer Prize for commentary would be a victory for Washington Post “moderate liberal” columnist Richard Cohen instead. If you haven’t been following this guy recently then you know NOTHING. Oh, the prose-poetry of his sentences! One gorgeous conjunction masterfully gives way to a brilliant proper noun, brought to life by an effervescent transitive verb and wrung to a world-historical clincher with yet another brilliant proper noun. Recently, Cohen has told us about his “keen eye” and the wretched “tattoos” plastering our children these days. In today’s column, Cohen shares the following: John McCain is a maverick, while Barack Obama is a youth! MORE »

Meghan “Blogette” McCain, the princess daughter of John McCain and his second trophy wife Cindy, has sewn up a children’s book deal. It sounds frightening, according to what she says in a publisher’s statement: “I am truly excited about the opportunity to write a children’s book about my father, who is not only a fantastic dad, but also a great American. This book will offer children the unique opportunity to see the character building events that happened over his lifetime, experiences that led up to his current bid to become the future President of the United States.” Hey children, this is called P-R-O-P-A-G-A-N-D-A. It means “she is finding a pleasing way to sell you terrible lies.” Also, children? She does not have a job, because she is spoiled! She is not your role model. [AP]

There is a terrible “wagon” in politics that people ride when they don’t want to have fun anymore. When you are on this wagon, you do not smoke or drink or do amphetamines or masturbate. It appears that Barack Obama, having ridden in the non-smoking section of this wagon, has fallen off it, and now he is a secret Cigarette Goblin again. Except because he is famous, and running for president, this is not a secret to anyone. MORE »

John McCain is now trying to court the Women’s Christian Temperance Union from Hillary Clinton’s stable — even though she was a lush — by nixing every Beer Bill that comes his way. Here’s what he said at his “small business” (major corporate) address today: “I will veto every single beer, um, bill with earmarks.” It’s funny because he won’t do either of those things. Liberal. Oh and he also made a joke about how he crashes expensive military planes: “In speaking about his proposal for joint town hall meetings with Obama, McCain said — following the prepared remarks — that he would like to travel with his rival by air. Then, going off script, the famously-downed navy pilot said, ‘I promise not to try to fly.’” Ha ha, because he might accidentally firebomb innocent families! [First Read]