Tag Archives: libtards

  we call it riding the gravy train

Pennsylvania’s Screaming Parody Of A Wingnut Police Chief Now Too Radical For ‘Oath Keepers’

So you remember that charming young man, Mark Kessler, the police chief for Gilberton, Pennsylvania? He’s the guy who wants to “cleanse” America of all the enemies of liberty, like libtards who all “take it in the ass.” He also posted a video where he shot up targets that he labeled “Nancy Pelosi” and “John Kerry” and so on, but he also says he’s not in favor of armed rebellion, at least not just yet. That guy. Well since we are in the mood today for updates, how about an update on Chief Asshat? Yes, please, Salon’s Alex Seitz-Wald, we would read that! We bet this guy just has a million wingnut supporters coming out of the woodwork… Meanwhile, a group of pro-gun law enforcement and military officials with whom Kessler has aligned himself say they want nothing to do with the chief. “Chief Kessler is not working with Oath Keepers, nor is Oath Keepers working with him,” Elias Alias, who sits on the Oath Keeper’s board of directors, said in an email to Salon. Oh no…the libtards have gotten to the Oath Keepers, too! It’s the only possible conclusion! (Also, “Elias Alias” is totally a name for a punk rock singer, not a militia guy.) Read more on Pennsylvania’s Screaming Parody Of A Wingnut Police Chief Now Too Radical For ‘Oath Keepers’…
  sob stories

Libtard Victory: Fearful Glenn Beck Moving Away From New York

Uh, New York hippie gangs win! The giant fire-breathing progressive lynch mob that tried to murder Glenn Beck and his family in Bryant Park made them decide to get the hell out and not wait to be eaten. Like in the zombie movies! So they are moving to Texas to live in a suburban gated community full other fearful rich white idiots, as God intended. Why would someone like Beck want to ever live near a socialist cesspool like New York to begin with? Read more on Libtard Victory: Fearful Glenn Beck Moving Away From New York…
  stupid blog bait from stupid people

Libtard Coed Dorm ‘Campus Progress’ Will Convince You Not To Vote

Do you recall when Tim Kaine told Jon Stewart that the Democrats were going to win in November — and in every November, for 1,000 years — by handing out clever key chains embroidered with the Confucian Libtard Proverb “Don’t give them the keys back”? This funny slogan-message only resonates with drunk drivers, of course, which is half the electorate, maybe. So how will Sad Liberal Teen Sleepover “Campus Progress” help Harry Reid win the 12-year-old-girl vote, the other important voting demographic in America? Did someone just scream “with Justin Bieber” and then faint/throw a water bottle at Harry Reid? Oh we hope so, he is our favorite and now everyone will vote twice. Read more on Libtard Coed Dorm ‘Campus Progress’ Will Convince You Not To Vote…
  one whore diamond to rule them all

Fellowship Of the Libtard Will Expose Frodo Tea Baggins’ Racism

A giant racist Tea Bagger shadow has been cast over Middle-Earth (continental United States). And every day this racism grows, because nobody is strong enough to stand up and say, “Stop being racist,” and also Americans are too fat to stand up. And so, races from all corners of the liberal blogosphere have answered the call, probably on Skype. From Lonely Libtard Mountain come the Media Matters Dwarfs, and from H Street the Soros Elves of ThinkProgress. The Men from the NAACP showed up, and also uh, the Ents who hail from New Left Media. Have they all assembled to hear Yglesias the great Wizard recite his famous stories about barbershop deregulation? (No, that was yesterday.) This holy fellowship was formed to vanquish the near-impossible task of “documenting all the racist things Tea Bagger Orcs say/do/write on their cardboard signs and tank tops.” Wait a second, isn’t there an Internet website that ALREADY DOES THIS? Read more on Fellowship Of the Libtard Will Expose Frodo Tea Baggins’ Racism…
  more stupid developments on a never-ending issue

San Francisco Bay Palestinetards Block Ship From Unloading Goods, Destroying State of Israel

Hundreds of protesters waved signs and flags and stuff at the Port of Oakland on Sunday because an Israeli cargo ship was coming in and this was the most important way they could protest Israel for some reason. Longshoremen refused to cross the “picket line” of weirdos because apparently it had some union backing. In San Francisco, remember, “union members” are not your usual blue-collar folks, they’re hippie-plumbers and hippie-electrical-workers and hippie-Teamsters. Read more on San Francisco Bay Palestinetards Block Ship From Unloading Goods, Destroying State of Israel…
  Ain't No Way to Treat a Lady

Nancy Pelosi Stirs the Passions at Liberal ‘Hecklefest’

Liberal Speaker of the House Nancy “the Fancy” Pelosi got the shout-down treatment at the Campaign for America’s Future conference yesterday, and by fellow liberals! Pelosi only wanted to thank everyone for helping to get the ObamaCare program passed, but had to endure yelling and maybe even some crap thrown at her? Is this how we show “gratitude” nowadays? Read more on Nancy Pelosi Stirs the Passions at Liberal ‘Hecklefest’…
  america loves tea

Tea Party Video: People Gettin’ Busy Being Dumb

GAH! All of you fucking people shut up and go home right now. Just when the old slob yelling “I LUV SARAH!” seems like the most annoying creature on Earth, some kind of tattooed young lady libtard decides the best way to make her squeaky-ass whining worse is to amplify it through some sort of CB radio speaker. Thanks, we guess, to Garrett Quinn, who is very brave. Read more on Tea Party Video: People Gettin’ Busy Being Dumb…
  a socialist xmas

Ben Nelson Bribed With ‘Reach Around,’ 60 Votes For Health Care?

After being told that his beloved Nebraska would become the nation’s new raw-sewage & nuclear waste repository, Senator Ben Nelson suddenly decided he “likes the health care bill a super-whole lot!” So now maybe it has 60 votes, hooray! Libtards everywhere are preparing to spend the holidays chooching, as the current revised version of the Senate bill “would expand coverage to about 94 percent of eligible Americans under age 65.” [New York Times/ABC News] Read more on Ben Nelson Bribed With ‘Reach Around,’ 60 Votes For Health Care?…
  you get the internet you deserve

POLITICAL INTERNET ALMOST FULLY UNREADABLE: Jesus goddamn, it’s healthy to be frustrated with certain legislative proposals, but more and more enclaves of the liberal Internet are reading like tragic post-op RedState diaries by the hour: “In the past few weeks, the two most famous and arguably most successful black men in America have taken a huge fall. It has become clear that both pro golfer Tiger Woods, just named Athlete of the Year by the Associated Press, and the American president, Barack Obama, the first black person to lead the country, suffer from a surfeit of hubris which has finally caught up with them.” To put it nicely: anyone who fits actual complex real-world events into this simplistic a storybook narrative should not be granted publishing privileges on Movable Type. [HuffPo via Balloon Juice] Read more on …
  angry typing battles

White House Official Position: Weird Gay Bloggers Are Fine, Can Wear Pajamas If They Want

The secret White House advisor (RAHMBO?) who upset Andrew Sullivan and other members of the “Internet left fringe” so greatly by telling them to wear real pants instead of pajamas, guess what his or her sentiment doesn’t represent? “That sentiment does not reflect White House thinking at all,” according to White House deputy communications director Dan Pfeiffer, “we’ve held easily a dozen calls with the progressive online community because we believe the online communities can often keep the focus on how policy will affect the American people rather than just the political back-and-forth.” Oooh, “phone calls.” “A dozen calls.” Has anyone ever not worn pajamas to talk on the telephone? [Greg Sargent] Read more on White House Official Position: Weird Gay Bloggers Are Fine, Can Wear Pajamas If They Want…
  insane people

Arlen Specter Is Only Human On Earth To Continue Supporting Norm Coleman

Ha ha the very liberal Arlen Specter wants Norm Coleman to fight it out, up there in Minnesota! He tells the New York Times, “There’s still time for the Minnesota courts to do justice and declare Norm Coleman the winner.” Hmm not really. Libtards are going nuts about how Arlen Specter isn’t saying everything the Democratic leadership wants him to say. But who gives a shit what Arlen Specter says about Norm Coleman? Party hacks, everywhere. UPDATE: HAHAHA, Arlen Specter was really just making a Jew joke. [TPM] Read more on Arlen Specter Is Only Human On Earth To Continue Supporting Norm Coleman…
  president of nerds

Obama To Show His Burdened Face On The YouTubes Every Week

The rotten liberals are gonna eat up this little Hope announcement like none other: “President-elect Obama’s office gave the media a new way to present him as Franklin Roosevelt 2.0 by announcing Friday that it will be posting weekly addresses – fireside chats for the web generation – on YouTube.” The reason: enhanced transparency. YAY!…?? Read more on Obama To Show His Burdened Face On The YouTubes Every Week…
  meh

Whoa Hey John McCain Half-Misspeaks Whoa Hey

Libtards are giggling like rich schoolgirls on acid over this one. Along the lines of, JOHN MCCAIN DOES NOT KNOW THAT VENEZUELA ISN’T IN THE MIDDLE EAST! Can you even believe it oh my god blah blah blah. Whatever. They can enjoy getting ulcers over John McCain’s poor choice of conjunctions or adjectives such as “other.” [Ben Smith] Read more on Whoa Hey John McCain Half-Misspeaks Whoa Hey…
  tributes

George W. Bush Sewage Treatment Plant One Step Closer To American Reality

The SFist just sent us this breaking news from San Francisco: “The ordinance initiative to changing the name of the Oceanside Wastewater Treatment Facility to the ‘George W Bush Sewage Plant’ will, in fact, be on the November ballot.” This is great news for everybody, as it will provide retaliatory amusement for San Francisco voters while confirming every “bunch-a gald-damned communist lezbo fruitcakes” wingnut cliche about Baghdad by the Bay. [SFist] Read more on George W. Bush Sewage Treatment Plant One Step Closer To American Reality…
  never mind

BLM Will Keep Taking Solar Applications After All

Remember how the liberals and environmentalists were freaking out, a few days ago, because the BLM wanted to stop accepting solar-energy applications for federal land in the southwest until maybe the environmental impact of the other 125 projects already submitted could be given the sort of environmental review the environmentalists generally believe is a good thing? Well, never mind. Read more on BLM Will Keep Taking Solar Applications After All…
 

But, But, How Should Republicans Resign As New York Governor?

Eliot Spitzer pissed off pretty much everyone in the world. This was Good For Society when he was going after evil rich people on Wall Street, but it wasn’t so noble when he was using the cops to harass his political opponents or infuriating his fellow Democratic legislators in Albany. This is why nobody ran to his defense as Spitzer huddled in his sinister, cavernous Manhattan lair waiting for somebody to tell him it’s okay to keep being governor. But there is one segment of society that is boldly standing up for Spitzer’s right to get caught in a federal money-laundering sting because he had to spend so much on prostitutes even though he “made his reputation” by busting prostitution businesses in New York. Read more on But, But, How Should Republicans Resign As New York Governor?…