When scholars of the future — otherwise known as “Roombas” — look back at our chaotic and moronic first decade of the 21st Century, they will have nothing but faded printouts of vulgar old web pages for source material. “Why were there so many pictures of Truck Nutz and watermelon gardens around the Executive Mansion?”, the Roombas will ask each other, in robotic voices.

Closing Sunday, May 10: OMG, Lincoln is dying ALL OVER AGAIN on Sunday, when the lovely Library of Congress exhibit boasting a gagillion artifacts in his honor is shutttered for all time. With Malice Toward None: The Abraham Lincoln Bicentennial Exhibition includes such ephemera as the oldest known copy of the Gettysburg address, inaugural speeches noted by Lincoln himself, and the Emancipation Proclamation. MORE »

Thursday, March 26: Local DMV rappers, producers and vocalists recreate and redefine the songs off Jay Z’s 1996 debut album, Reasonable Doubt, which helped push the hip-hop powerhouse into the big leagues. 8PM at Expo, $15. [Washington Post] MORE »

Friday, March 20: Hit up the Freer Gallery tonight for the DC premiere of 24 City, a Chinese film directed by Jia Zhangke warning of the Perils of Capitalism. 24 City illustrates the country’s changing landscape — a citywide factory park, over the course of three generations, becomes a giant complex of luxury apartments. 7PM. [Environmental Film Festival] MORE »

Your editor is sitting in the backseat of a gold Town & Country, like Hank Williams, as your other editors jabber up front and drive through the cornfields and cow hills of Nebraska. Let’s check the e-mail and see what’s … Oh goddamn, what does the Library of Congress want from your Wonkette? MORE »

It’s a tough job, being a scheduler for a Congressman on Capitol Hill on Thursday, because that’s when all legislators pretend Friday is not a working day and go home to their loving constituents, where they drink Arnold Palmers and discuss mobile housing arrangements with their side families. Today seems to be an especially hectic Thursday, if the House schedulers’ list serve is any indication. They can’t find icings for their cakes or phone numbers for their Libraries of Congress! MORE »

Me and my day job

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AP is reporting that “The main building of the Library of Congress was evacuated on Wednesday morning after a ’suspicious odor’ was detected and two people felt faint.” MORE »