Remember that time former pro wrestler Jesse “The Body” Ventura ran for Governor of Minnesota, and then he said, “Until you hunted man, you haven’t hunted yet,” and then he turned into a crazy paranoid kook with Satanic facial hair? Well, now he has a new book, and he has embarrassed the Libertarians, so he is doing about as well as anybody expected. [Reason]

Hey there Paultards who like to look at women online! Now you can elect your favorite female Libertarian standard-bearer in a beauty pageant that’s attracting literally dozens of votes. There are several Miss Ron Pauls to choose from and you can vote twice a day before May 31, because that is what Freedom is all about: voting twice. [Miss Ron Paul]

The enlightened kingdom of Paultardia has gone the way of Atlantis: deep undercover and off the grid, far from the hoi polloi who cloaked their fear of its greatness in mockery and ridicule. Either that or somebody forgot to pay their hosting bills. [Paulville]

Even though his campaign staff has been literally decimated and he released a sad Web video in early March saying “I still love Freedom but Victory is maybe not available to me, in the conventional sense, meaning ‘winning,’” Ron Paul is still running for President. And why not? He just won 16 percent of the Pennsylvania Republican primary vote. Plus, passionate Paultards have been raising a ruckus at conventions from Missouri to Nevada! He will still be President after Hillary seizes the nomination from Ralph Nader and moves to Guam. [Washington Post]

Finally, he speaks. Former conspiracy theory presidential candidate and the Original Ron Paul, Lyndon LaRouche, has offered his take on the Obama phenomenon. It ain’t so good! Specifically: Obama’s father was a bad father and also an agent with MI5, every male from every continent inseminated Obama’s whore of a mother, and Obama is a monkey who also works with British Intel. Obama is also a Racist. MORE »

This sad lady does pot because her back esploded and she doesn’t want to be a criminal anymore. Note the strange time-lapse visual effects that make you, the viewer, experience the same strange “LSD trails” that are a hallmark of the dangerous drug called marijuana. Other effects include meth mouth, baby sales, and penile ossification. [Minnesotans for Compassionate Care/YouTube] MORE »

Normal Americans celebrate Thomas Jefferson by pouring out a 40 on the sidewalk and saying mournfully, “Here’s to you, firecrotch” and then lighting $5 bills on fire. But Libertarians celebrate by dancing in solemn white-people fashion to their own personal iPods, in front of the Jefferson Memorial. And then they get arrested. Well, one of them does. [YouTube]

Ron Paul’s supporters are at it again, participating in their Democracy. Even though their guy won less than 5% of the vote in the Missouri Republican primary there on February 5, they made sure to show up for their party caucuses this weekend. And simply by appearing physically at these events, which are normally the exclusive domain of elderly cranks with ham radio hobbies and 40-year unlapsed subscriptions to Reader’s Digest, these civic champions were able to remake the face of the Missouri Republican party. MORE »

The first time that Texas hobbit Congressman and Peden vanquisher Ron Paul quit the race, it was really just a cry for help. Now he really means it. In a 7 1/2-minute video posted last night, he tells his supporters that “victory, in a conventional sense, is not available in the Presidential race.” MORE »

When brave CPA and proud Christian conservative Chris Peden decided to run against incumbent Congressman Ron Paul in Texas’ 14th Congressional District, there was one challenge he didn’t count on: Hillary Clinton. And now it appears the Senator from New York may prove just as adept at ruining things for Republicans as she is for hope-loving Democrats! MORE »

Doomed presidential candidate Ron Paul is truly leading a movement, and the proof is in the massive turnouts he regularly achieves…and the tragically low number of people he is able to convert into actual voters. Last Saturday in Austin he held a rally of semi-historic proportions, gathering 4,000 people on the University of Texas campus to hear him rail against the criminal Federal Reserve. And that day, a whopping 54 people cast an early ballot on campus for a Republican presidential candidate. Assuming every one of those votes went to Dr. Paul, he will only need approximately eleventy zillion more rally-goers to clinch his party’s nomination. [Burnt Orange Report, Daily Texan]