So so many ethical quandaries this week! Should “we” “forgive” Michael Vick for being a dog-tortoruing sociopath, because he paid his debt to society? Should “we” continue to patronize a food store whose CEO — a man whose douchebaggery was well-established years ago — recently revealed an unpalatably conservative bent vis-a-vis the topic of heatlhcare? These are important questions. MORE »

Reader “Emily” sends us this mysterious photo from Chicago, which appears to be a Paultard car, only without the R at the beginning of Dr. Paul’s famous slogan. “I still really couldn’t believe this was a thing,” she writes. So, question: IS THIS A THING?

Look everybody it’s Randall “Rand” Paul, who sounds exactly like his dad, and looks a fair amount like him too except with adorable curly hair! He has officially formed an exploratory committee to look into running for Jim Bunning’s Senate seat. (Bunning says he’s absolutely running for re-election, which means come on, he’s totally not running, which leaves this Republican seat open.) Dr. Paul has a handsome web site, and he’s already raised, what, nearly $14,000. He’s basically Barack Obama plus Ron Paul divided by Christopher Reeve’s Superman. [Rand Paul 2010]

What the headline said, duh! Uhh… hmm. It’s becoming impossible to follow the rapidly developing Balkanization within the Teabagger Movement. Let’s try to figure it all out in one post! Here’s the general storyline: Paultards and other “radical libertarians” are claiming that the Tea Party concept has always been their protest idea, for like infinity years, and that it was a damn good one too (got Dr. Cong. Paul elected president no?) until these fucking corporate-backed fucks, the mainstream Republican electoral apparatus, started laundering money into some “AstroTurf” (fake grassroots HA HA!) fat cat Establishment entities and hijacked the brilliant tea bag concept, (somehow) turned it into a joke, blasted it on Fox News, and fucking ruined fucking everything AGAIN WILL THESE PEOPLE EVER LEARN? MORE »

Your Wonkette despises leaving the house, ever, except for such things as food, but even that can frequently come in the form of home delivery these days, what with the Internet and all. But it is Holiday season, alas, and we feel obligated to cover DC’s many terrible holiday parties! Last night, your Wonkette, along with visiting college friend operative “Stephen,” went to two (2) parties that had absolutely nothing to do with The Holidays. The first was a “send-off to the White House” shindig at the Hawk and Dove for Obama’s fierce new press secretary, Robert Gibbs! This was almost certainly a “party crash;” we had absolutely no business being there. The second was a 40th anniversary party or something for libertarian deathrag Reason, which was just a bunch of drunk Cato Institute staffers from Norway getting belligerent at a filthy bar in Dupont. Endless tales of treachery and violence follow. MORE »

Mike Huckabee was just another fat wingnut Southern emperor until, however many years ago, he realized that he was going to die from the Fat Cancer. He freaked and lost an actual 4,500 pounds and wrote a book about how he became un-fat. It was a success because, for some reason, illiterate people will buy books about such mysterious weight-loss techniques as diet and exercise. This gave him an “in” to run for president; he did better than expected but still lost to Walnuts. But… but now he has another book coming out! It’s about how terrible the Republican party is — you know, his frighteningly unpopular political party! He whines about everyone but throws in a few good words for Cher. MORE »

Your associate editor was prepared to go to this funny-sounding debate party last Friday at the D.C. headquarters of libertarian masturbation pamphlet Reason, one for which Bob Barr was invited to yell at Obama and McCain on the teevee, live. Ineffectiveness and vanity on this level is, of course, the very essence of libertarianism. So instead your editor incoherently liveblogged from home, viciously drunk (sorry!) and FAR AWAY from the old yelling octoroon. But Liz Glover went in our stead, and she brought a sidekick! MORE »

Whoa hey check out this guy. He is, let’s see, Alec Baldwin, we think. One of the Baldwins, anyway. The “funny one.” And really, have we proven Cheney didn’t personally do 9/11, with a Wii? Exactly. This is why Ron Paul has endorsed this fellow. Read the actual endorsement, after the jump. MORE »

We sent our Liz Glover and Jim Newell to the Reason happy hour/cocktail party that the Reason staff has every month to celebrate putting out their monthly issue. And then we waited for the funny report, and the fun video, but it never showed up, so we will just run this transcript that seems to cover what did or didn’t happen. It’s the “new journalism.” MORE »

Bob Barr looks like Reverend Jeremiah Wright and will probably cost John McCain the election, and for these two reasons alone Barack Obama makes love to Bob Barr’s voodoo doll in his hyperbaric Hope chamber every night. You see, 6% of Zogby poll respondents said they would vote for the Libertarian candidate for president, and this is the exact size of the margin Obama leads by. Score one for Liberty! MORE »

Back in 1987, nobody could have guessed that a bunch of meatheads in a movie about an invisible alien with laser-beam eyes would someday be great American leaders. But then the wonderful state of Minnesota elected Jesse Ventura its governor, and California followed suit with Arnold Schwarzenegger. Now, if Kentuckians play their cards right, they will replace their womanly senator Mitch McConnell with Sonny Landham, who played some dude called “Billy” in Predator. This Landham guy is a real trip! Come along with us on Sonny’s magical journey from porn stardom to the Libertarian party via five wives and a stretch in federal prison. MORE »