libertarians
Rand Paul Will Work With Jesus To Help You Cling To Your Guns
While the species of libertarian fanboy known as the Paultard will strenuously argue that Paul brand politics are different from those of garden variety wild-eyed Republicans, it is becoming clear that the young prince of Pauldom (Rand Paul) is laughing at the Paultards as much as we do. As part of a campaign to make [...]
Will Tax-Dodging Shakespeare Become The New Ayn Rand?
New research on William Shakespeare indicates that in addition to writing bloody soap operas, the playwright was also a fairly successful entrepreneur in Stratford-upon-Avon who invested in grain, made loans, and dodged taxes like a boss. While it remains to be seen whether the news will result in Shakespeare’s works gaining new currency with libertarians, [...]
Go Galt In Detroit’s Centrally Planned Puerto Rico For Rich Jerks
Sitting in the middle of the Detroit River is Belle Isle, one of the nation’s finest urban public parks. It was designed by Frederick Law Olmsted of Central Park fame. Unfortunately, Belle Isle isn’t in the best condition right now because Detroit is super poor. There exists a perfectly reasonable plan to make Belle Isle [...]
Andrew Sullivan Wants To Know Why Women Americans Don’t Want To Overturn The Civil Rights Act, Endorse Fetal Personhood
Andrew Sullivan apparently has a lot of time on his hands, so he is currently chewing on one of life’s great mysteries, namely, why libertarians are mostly male. You would think that the answer to this question would be kind of obvious even to stupid dummies, given that everyone’s favorite libertarian, Ron Paul, is in [...]
Live, Work And Play In New Development For You And All Your Idaho Militia Friends!
Any second now there will be zombies and tidal waves and brown people climbing up on your roof and eating your virgin daughter’s brains. What should you do? Where should you go? Why not live out these trying times in a castle in Idaho, surrounded by a loving community of like-minded Patriots? The only rules [...]
Ron Paul Jabbers At Nation One Last Time: Let’s Break Up America, For Weed
Does Dr. Professor Congressman Ron Paul count as one of our “pantheon of fallen heroes”? No, because he has chosen to leave Congress voluntarily, which means that he is Undefeated, forever. The fact that he is using his God/Constitution-granted Liberty to walk away from Congress has probably gotten him thinking, though, thinking about how Liberty [...]
Stupid Hurricane ‘Victims,’ Let Fox News’ John Stossel Explain Why It Is Awesome To Price Gouge You
Now that Chris Christie has dared to show what used to be the standard amount of deference and respect due to the office of the president, the right wing has pounced on him like Rush Limbaugh on a Dominican hooker. The latest complaint is that he is not allowing oil companies to take advantage of [...]
What We Learned From The Nice Libertarian Fellows At 1:30 In The Morning In A Detroit Hotel Bar
We tricked you! The nice Libertarian fellows in the Detroit hotel bar at 1:30 in the morning were not nice at all! They were stupid fucking idiots! But we learned a lot from them anyway, like so: * Al Gore invented the Internet. * Al Gore lied about being the basis for the main character [...]
Koch Brothers Sue Their Own Crown Jewel Think Tank
The Cato Institute, originally conceived as the Charles Koch Foundation in 1974, is the proud upper-crust luxury hotel for all of DC’s most erudite corporate libertarians, as well as Glenn Greenwald. It is a popular vehicle for right-wing economic ideology to sneak its way into conservative legislation. And it is, of course, one of the [...]
Happy 107th Birthday, Zombie Ayn Rand!
We were skimming the FoxNews.com website looking for some of those “free Medicare scooter” ads, but got distracted by the important news of terrible writer/awful person Ayn Rand’s 107th birthday. She doesn’t look a day over 106 … objectively. Objectively-ist. Anyway, we hope she’s enjoying being tortured for Eternity in Hell, for not believing in [...]
Dark Horse Candidate Gary Johnson Planning To Win On Pagan Vote
We get several hundred emails a week from Gary Johnson’s presidential campaign begging us to go on some “blogger call” or another to hear Gary Johnson discuss his favorite jogging apps or mandatory marijuana for third graders or whatever, but we have largely ignored him because, eh, there can be ONLY ONE TRUE libertarian in [...]
Invisible Hands Shuts Off Libertarian Magazine’s Elevator
Koch Brothers slash-fiction pamphlet Reason is sporting this sad-face note on its Washington headquarters today. (And why is Reason in Washington? The same reason the Koch Brothers live in magnificent New York City instead of a piece of dirt with no roads and sewer system in the middle of the Texas panhandle, we guess!) Anyway, [...]
Secret U.S. ‘Kill List’ Somehow Not In Rand Paul’s Paranoid Spam Forwards
Like everyone else in the nation, we have grown used to the stream of wingnut “gubmint gon’ steal ur gunz” Second Amendment action-alert emails always emanating en masse from the AOL accounts of America’s loony cousins and neighbors, OR, apparently now, from a U.S. Senator! Mother Jones spotted pantsless prick Rand Paul sticking his name on [...]
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Comment Of The Day: Libertarian Sexts Edition
by Rebecca Schoenkopf
What is liberty? Where does the freedom to eat your neighbor’s cat intersect with, er, your neighbor’s cat? No one can ever know. It is ineffable and unknowable, like fuckin’ God, man! But we can know about commenter Nesnora’s date with a Libertarian, in response to today’s brilliant and wonderful and insightful and just plain [...]