Sound-Bite Generator Notes Several Liberal Professors Make Decent Livings
Thursday, February 19th, 2009
Liberals, don’t you just hate them! The worst kind of liberal is one who earns a big salary. Hypocrites! It is completely impossible to both make a decent living and have Liberal Views about the government’s role in society. Sure, go do cocaine in your limousine, then try saying you support health care for disadvantaged kids. MOONBATS! Anyway, once again The Politico has SEIZED THE MORNING and BUGGERED THE NEWS CYCLE and brutally punished the POWER EQUATION with the shocking revelation that college-professor Barack Obama was supported by other college professors, including some well-known scholars and scientists who, hypocritically, make low-six-figure salaries working for America’s better universities. [Gawker]











It was only a matter of time before liberal blog The Daily Kos switched from documenting Obama’s campaign and election to begging him for jobs. Kos blogger “mjgl” (”liberal” in Klingon) wants the new President to know that “mjgl” has always loved those picture books about the Great Depression, so maybe, uhm, a little sumthin’ sumthin’ for “mjgl” would be good, from Obama, so that “mjgl” could also take pictures of the Great Depression we’re having right now!
R.I.P. SENATOR PELL: One of Rhode Island’s awesomest former senators has died at the age of 90. Claiborne Pell was a big fat liberal and a millionaire who was obsessed with UFOs and jogged around Newport in his old Princeton letter sweater and drove a Mustang with a roll-bar because he was such a bad driver. He helped create the NEA but didn’t like modern art. He also pushed for federal subsidies of higher education, later renamed
A shocking new study by the web concern A Daily Beast proves that
Some liberal group of liberals produced a fake edition of the New York Times revealing all the wonderful things that will happen once hippies rule the world, next July. The evil corporate Harvard Business School will close forever; George Bush will be tried for war crimes; and the Patriot Act will be repealed by a 99-1 vote, with only a drunken Jon Kyl dissenting. Jesus, reading this thing is like crawling in Medea Benjamin’s brain. Come join us in a tour of this bleeding-heart masturbation pamphlet. 
Oh WOWSERS one brave Christian has
There is a little bit of fine print in the Gay American Bylaws stating that donors to Republican candidates will be expelled immediately from one or both elite organizations. Thus Jonathan Crutchley, a
Liberals are very upset with John McCain, again, because it appears he has PLAGIARIZED the famous website Wikipedia in his speech about Georgia and Russia. John McCain is using Wikipedia! That’s all we care about and are very happy to learn that he’s discovered this completely awesome and accurate website. But as some of those rascally bloggers have discovered, McCain used such words and dates as “in,” “of,” “economic,” and “1922″ in much the same sequence that Wikipedia used them in a historical laundry list of facts! It’s like he’s writing a college history paper’s “background” section in the post-2005 era — by copy-pasting it from any damn website, because who cares.