Liberals, don’t you just hate them! The worst kind of liberal is one who earns a big salary. Hypocrites! It is completely impossible to both make a decent living and have Liberal Views about the government’s role in society. Sure, go do cocaine in your limousine, then try saying you support health care for disadvantaged kids. MOONBATS! Anyway, once again The Politico has SEIZED THE MORNING and BUGGERED THE NEWS CYCLE and brutally punished the POWER EQUATION with the shocking revelation that college-professor Barack Obama was supported by other college professors, including some well-known scholars and scientists who, hypocritically, make low-six-figure salaries working for America’s better universities. [Gawker]

It was only a matter of time before liberal blog The Daily Kos switched from documenting Obama’s campaign and election to begging him for jobs. Kos blogger “mjgl” (”liberal” in Klingon) wants the new President to know that “mjgl” has always loved those picture books about the Great Depression, so maybe, uhm, a little sumthin’ sumthin’ for “mjgl” would be good, from Obama, so that “mjgl” could also take pictures of the Great Depression we’re having right now! MORE »

R.I.P. SENATOR PELL: One of Rhode Island’s awesomest former senators has died at the age of 90. Claiborne Pell was a big fat liberal and a millionaire who was obsessed with UFOs and jogged around Newport in his old Princeton letter sweater and drove a Mustang with a roll-bar because he was such a bad driver. He helped create the NEA but didn’t like modern art. He also pushed for federal subsidies of higher education, later renamed Pell Grants, without which your editor would have had to join the circus or go to work at the renderer’s. Senator Pell was a comical character straight out of a Fitzgerald novel, and it is really too bad that they don’t make rich people like that anymore. [New York Times, Providence Journal]

A shocking new study by the web concern A Daily Beast proves that American women voters are more furious than usual about the election, because, eh, Hillary Clinton lost to Barack Obama and Sarah Palin is a despicable race-baiting moron. MORE »

Some liberal group of liberals produced a fake edition of the New York Times revealing all the wonderful things that will happen once hippies rule the world, next July. The evil corporate Harvard Business School will close forever; George Bush will be tried for war crimes; and the Patriot Act will be repealed by a 99-1 vote, with only a drunken Jon Kyl dissenting. Jesus, reading this thing is like crawling in Medea Benjamin’s brain. Come join us in a tour of this bleeding-heart masturbation pamphlet. MORE »

Every terrible oversexed gay hedonist dildo-slave recreational-abortionist Democrat in America had sex with every other Democrat in America on Tuesday night in order to celebrate the election of our emperor-clown, Barack Obama. Apparently this is common behavior among humans, this “having sex for fun” thing. Humans also do it when they are sad, or happy, or bored, or want to “change the topic of conversation.” MORE »

Oh WOWSERS one brave Christian has traveled into the future and brought back a chilling message from 2012: After godless liberal Marxist free-love hedonist Barack Obama ascends to power, he will stack the Supreme Court with six (6) young hippies, force everyone to get gay married, and sit on his hands while the Russians invade Massachusetts. (Enh, let ‘em have it, it’s all full of Communists anyway!) Religious people should be concerned about this, especially the ones who vote for Obama because they will be going to Hell. [Letter from 2012 in Obama's America (PDF)]

Here’s Fox News reporter “Griff” Jenkins trying to infiltrate the “leftist protesters” today in Denver, right where your Wonkette is! The courageous Griffer risks his life by walking into the throngs of rebel protesters who — and this comes as a surprise to Griff — do not all love Obama. Hmm! Then, hilariously, the crowd starts shouting “Fuck Fox News!” Griff can only respond by asking them, “Do you not believe in freedom?” Instant classic. [YouTube]

There is a little bit of fine print in the Gay American Bylaws stating that donors to Republican candidates will be expelled immediately from one or both elite organizations. Thus Jonathan Crutchley, a McCain contributor and chairman of the gay pickup site Manhunt, had to resign his position on the board lest he be forcibly turned heterosexual and spend the rest of his life wearing ill-fitting shirts from LL Bean. Meanwhile, John McCain returned Crutchley’s donation in order to avoid the Gay Taint. [Towleroad/Boston Herald]

This is one of many great short films submitted to something called Cinemocracy.org, which is the official film festival of the DNC in Denver! One of these lucky crazy people, hopefully this one, above, who is moaning into a 9-foot-long tube, will be the winner and get their crazy-ass little YouTube shown to 75,000 people at the Mile High Stadium when Barack Obama is anointed as the Prince of Lies, by Barbra Streisand in a Soviet-red burkini. MORE »

Liberals are very upset with John McCain, again, because it appears he has PLAGIARIZED the famous website Wikipedia in his speech about Georgia and Russia. John McCain is using Wikipedia! That’s all we care about and are very happy to learn that he’s discovered this completely awesome and accurate website. But as some of those rascally bloggers have discovered, McCain used such words and dates as “in,” “of,” “economic,” and “1922″ in much the same sequence that Wikipedia used them in a historical laundry list of facts! It’s like he’s writing a college history paper’s “background” section in the post-2005 era — by copy-pasting it from any damn website, because who cares. MORE »