Tag: liberals

Scootaloo is a skateboard punk rocker. Let's hope she ends up saner than Michelle Shocked.

Deleted Comments: Stop Lying About Donald Trump By Quoting Him

Time to hose out the Deleted Comments queue again, and this week, we start with an insight from a Donald Trump supporter who is delighted that Donald Trump tells it like it is, except when he's deliberately being vague...
American thinker.

Ted Nugent Will Eliminate Liberals With Gay Stuff In Their Butts, For America

Ted Nugent is upset, everyone. Barack Obama is his enemy, and he hasn't jerked off to Megyn Kelly in at least two weeks. So he went to his old friend Alex Jones to talk through his feelings. Like, did...
Sure thing, Special Agent Zoolander.

Deleted Comments Of The Week: Glee At Americans Being Murdered! By Muslims! Wow!

It was a crazy week, so of course plenty of the crazy spilled into the comments sections of our coverage of the San Bernardino shootings. Some people genuinely didn't get what we were trying to do, which was to...
He speaks the truth.

Remember, Liberals: Ted Cruz And Dead Breitbart Are The Reason For The Season

Hooray, that dumb holiday where we eat 300 pounds of food and say we're "thankful" for "things" is over, and now we can go back to doing hot, wet War On Christmassing to each other, like we liberals do....
Newsweek's gift to posterity

Deleted Comments: Like Your Master Obama, Wonkette Wants To Destroy America

So here's one heck of a surprise: Most of our deleted comments this week are about the Paris terrorist attacks, and the subsequent mass pants-soiling by Republican governors, Republican presidential candidates, and the truly rank Republican rank & file...
Don't make Muscle Jesus angry. You wouldn't like Him when He's angry.

Deleted Comments: You Can’t Be A Liberal And A Christian, Duh

Once in a while we'll get an influx of angry new commenters who are very, VERY unhappy with something we've published, but we have no idea how they found the piece to be outraged by in the first place....
They're watching you.

Jesus Buying All His Christmas Presents At Hobby Lobby And Chick-Fil-A From Now On

It's the most wonderful time of the year, almost! We've had a real good start to the War On Christmas, thanks to Starbucks making a cup that does not explicitly mention how the Baby Jesus died so you can...
Fap fap fap

Let’s Gay-Marry Canada’s Hot New Prime Minister And Let Him Try To Get Us Pregnant

Oh, did everyone hear that Canada, which is apparently somewhere near Detroit, had a big election Monday? Canadian voters went to the polls and decided either to vote for liberal hopey changey good times, or maybe they just picked...
Don't all teens talk like this? Especially on the sidelines of a f'ball game?

Sundays With The Christianists: Let’s Read Some Terrible Pro-Abstinence Comics!

Thanks to the extremely slow delivery process of an online fundagelical ministry, we have finally received a crackerjack prize we ordered back in August: a copy of the fabulous "Truth For Youth Bible," which is full of lies right...
Should somebody call the cops?

North Carolina Teabagger Candidate Needs Your Help Murdering People, We Think

It's time to meet our new best friend, aren't you excited, Wonketariat? Her name is Kay Daly, and she is running for Congress in the North Carolina district currently served by Renee Ellmers, who is an obvious RINO. What's so...
Imagine this on MONEY.

Republicans Rank Hottest Chicks In America On A Scale Of Zero To Ben Carson’s Mom

So, about that big Donald Trump sausage party last night, the one that Carly Fiorina crashed like a common girl who doesn't know how to read a "NO GIRLS ALLOWED" sign on the side of a treehouse? Yeah, that...
You can see why someone might think that's a beaver

Sundays With The Christianists: A Mutilated Squirrel Teaches Your Kids Why Welfare Is Bad

Good Sunday to you, Sinners! As we promised, or threatened, earlier in the week when we wrote about the Tennessee homeschooling mom who is Very Concerned about all the Islamic Indoctrination that she's sure is happening in the school...
Still up on that cross.

Kim Davis Is In Jail, And Wingnuts Are Jizz-Crapping Their Pull-Ups In RAGE!

CRU-CI-FY! CRU-CI-FY! CRU-CI-FY! Oh, we are just joshing, nobody wants Kim Davis crucified. (OR DO WE?) Wingnuts, though? Remember that time they lost their whole country in the span of a week, because gay marriage was legalized and the Confederate flag...
I laugh at you idiots! So much!

Sass-Mouth Barack Obama Sasses The Republicans, Sassily. Your Weekly Top Ten.

Hey Wonkers! It is Sunday, and whew, what a week we had! Your Wonkette got lost (broken because bad server was bad), but then was found (fixed with a shiny new server!), was blind but now it sees! And...
HERE IS SOME SEX ADVICE, YOU GUYS.

Rush Limbaugh Mad Teenage Boys Don’t Put Out Like They Used To

Yesterday, Grandma Kaili told you Wonkers about a new CDC study that says Kids These Days are real fuckin' boring, in that they don't go under the bleachers at school and play sex games on each other, and they...

Ben Shapiro Files Charges Against Transgender Lady For Making Him Look Like Total Pussy

You may have seen this SHOCK VIDEO rolling around the internets the past couple days, of Breitbart's never-nude pussy Ben Shapiro arguing with transgender journalist Zoey Tur on the "Dr. Drew On Call" program. It's a long video, not worth...