Tag: liberals

Sorry, Gaywad Liberals, But This T-Shirt Is Going To Make You Cry

We're only sharing this with you because we WANT YOU TO CRY.
HERE IS SOME SEX ADVICE, YOU GUYS.

Rush Limbaugh Tried To Warn You About Obama’s Lesbian Farmers, But You LAUGHED AT HIM

Rush knows liberals are OUTRAGED that he figured out Obama's secret lesbian farmer conspiracy plans!
DON'T PUT WORD SALAD IN HER MOUTH.

Sarah Palin Will SUE Black Rapper Lady For Being Mean To Her On Twitter

Dammit, Sarah Palin. Wonkette defended you. We said that in the great 2016 Twitterspace War between the Republican former governor of Alaska and rapper Azealia Banks that FORSOOTH, IT IS NOT COOL BRO to get on Twitter and say Sarah Palin...

Whiny MRA Jerk Babies Declare Victory Over Star Wars: Your Saturday Nerdout

Happy first post of 2016 everybody! Here is how everybody at Wonkette looked the morning of January 1 (except not nearly as cute): And now we are ready for a whole new year of nerding, so lets get right to...
Scootaloo is a skateboard punk rocker. Let's hope she ends up saner than Michelle Shocked.

Deleted Comments: Stop Lying About Donald Trump By Quoting Him

Time to hose out the Deleted Comments queue again, and this week, we start with an insight from a Donald Trump supporter who is delighted that Donald Trump tells it like it is, except when he's deliberately being vague...
American thinker.

Ted Nugent Will Eliminate Liberals With Gay Stuff In Their Butts, For America

Ted Nugent is upset, everyone. Barack Obama is his enemy, and he hasn't jerked off to Megyn Kelly in at least two weeks. So he went to his old friend Alex Jones to talk through his feelings. Like, did...
Sure thing, Special Agent Zoolander.

Deleted Comments Of The Week: Glee At Americans Being Murdered! By Muslims! Wow!

It was a crazy week, so of course plenty of the crazy spilled into the comments sections of our coverage of the San Bernardino shootings. Some people genuinely didn't get what we were trying to do, which was to...
He speaks the truth.

Remember, Liberals: Ted Cruz And Dead Breitbart Are The Reason For The Season

Hooray, that dumb holiday where we eat 300 pounds of food and say we're "thankful" for "things" is over, and now we can go back to doing hot, wet War On Christmassing to each other, like we liberals do....
Newsweek's gift to posterity

Deleted Comments: Like Your Master Obama, Wonkette Wants To Destroy America

So here's one heck of a surprise: Most of our deleted comments this week are about the Paris terrorist attacks, and the subsequent mass pants-soiling by Republican governors, Republican presidential candidates, and the truly rank Republican rank & file...
Don't make Muscle Jesus angry. You wouldn't like Him when He's angry.

Deleted Comments: You Can’t Be A Liberal And A Christian, Duh

Once in a while we'll get an influx of angry new commenters who are very, VERY unhappy with something we've published, but we have no idea how they found the piece to be outraged by in the first place....
They're watching you.

Jesus Buying All His Christmas Presents At Hobby Lobby And Chick-Fil-A From Now On

It's the most wonderful time of the year, almost! We've had a real good start to the War On Christmas, thanks to Starbucks making a cup that does not explicitly mention how the Baby Jesus died so you can...
Fap fap fap

Let’s Gay-Marry Canada’s Hot New Prime Minister And Let Him Try To Get Us Pregnant

Oh, did everyone hear that Canada, which is apparently somewhere near Detroit, had a big election Monday? Canadian voters went to the polls and decided either to vote for liberal hopey changey good times, or maybe they just picked...
Don't all teens talk like this? Especially on the sidelines of a f'ball game?

Sundays With The Christianists: Let’s Read Some Terrible Pro-Abstinence Comics!

Thanks to the extremely slow delivery process of an online fundagelical ministry, we have finally received a crackerjack prize we ordered back in August: a copy of the fabulous "Truth For Youth Bible," which is full of lies right...
Should somebody call the cops?

North Carolina Teabagger Candidate Needs Your Help Murdering People, We Think

It's time to meet our new best friend, aren't you excited, Wonketariat? Her name is Kay Daly, and she is running for Congress in the North Carolina district currently served by Renee Ellmers, who is an obvious RINO. What's so...
Imagine this on MONEY.

Republicans Rank Hottest Chicks In America On A Scale Of Zero To Ben Carson’s Mom

So, about that big Donald Trump sausage party last night, the one that Carly Fiorina crashed like a common girl who doesn't know how to read a "NO GIRLS ALLOWED" sign on the side of a treehouse? Yeah, that...
You can see why someone might think that's a beaver

Sundays With The Christianists: A Mutilated Squirrel Teaches Your Kids Why Welfare Is Bad

Good Sunday to you, Sinners! As we promised, or threatened, earlier in the week when we wrote about the Tennessee homeschooling mom who is Very Concerned about all the Islamic Indoctrination that she's sure is happening in the school...