• WHAT IF SHE LEGISLATES FROM THE BENCH AGAINST AVERAGE EVERYDAY WHITE GUYS, SUCH AS U.S. SENATORS? Lindsay Graham, for serious? We already know he has told Sonia Sotomayor, QUITE FRANKLY, that he has hated her passionately since the dawn of time. But here is another nice detail, from the senator, about why he despises her so much: “he indicated that her past statements raise concerns that, as a Supreme Court justice, she may not treat white males fairly. ‘Being an average, everyday white guy, that doesn’t exactly make me feel good,’ Graham said.” [Roll Call]

Her whole life she’d wondered. How could she, a lively and high-spirited young woman, possibly be the child of a deeply depressed and profoundly lifeless pill addict like her so-called mother? She thought she might have the answer now … MORE »

VAMPIRES ARE A LIBERAL TERRORIST SEX PLOT: Bram Stoker never imagined that his story of a seductive count who necks with young virgins at night might be interpreted as something sexual, but now that dirty-minded liberals have gotten their paws on the vampire story, the terrorists have won. “I’m all for multiculturalism, but this is too much. As Freud is supposed to have said, sometimes a cigar is just a cigar. Likewise, sometimes the Other isn’t a cool countercultural rebel who puts a thrill up your leg, he is a monster who wants to suck your blood or, if he is technologically savvy and has a religious ax to grind, blow up your kids’ school bus.” Dracula: the Western world’s first Islamic jihadist. Discuss. [National Review Online]

That Michael Steele, he really is modernizing the Republican Party! You ladies want an abortion? That’s “hip hop” with him! Gays? Hey, not their fault! Rush Limbaugh? Well he’s an ugly clown, but of course Mike is sorry for saying the truth, whoops! Websites? Let’s make them functional! In other words Michael Steele is another Maryland liberal, just as wishy-washy as any Eastern Seaboard cocktail-party Democrat. Some Republicans seem to be very unhappy about him, on the Internet. They’re even throwing out Woody Allen references! MORE »

Several weeks into a major publicity blitz by Rahm Emanuel and the MSM, it is a nationally known fact that Rush Limbaugh is President of the Republicans. But who is President of the Democrats? If you’d asked any Republican during the whole stimulus bill horror show, they would have answered, “Nancy Pelosi, naturally.” MORE »

Liberals, don’t you just hate them! The worst kind of liberal is one who earns a big salary. Hypocrites! It is completely impossible to both make a decent living and have Liberal Views about the government’s role in society. Sure, go do cocaine in your limousine, then try saying you support health care for disadvantaged kids. MOONBATS! Anyway, once again The Politico has SEIZED THE MORNING and BUGGERED THE NEWS CYCLE and brutally punished the POWER EQUATION with the shocking revelation that college-professor Barack Obama was supported by other college professors, including some well-known scholars and scientists who, hypocritically, make low-six-figure salaries working for America’s better universities. [Gawker]

It was only a matter of time before liberal blog The Daily Kos switched from documenting Obama’s campaign and election to begging him for jobs. Kos blogger “mjgl” (”liberal” in Klingon) wants the new President to know that “mjgl” has always loved those picture books about the Great Depression, so maybe, uhm, a little sumthin’ sumthin’ for “mjgl” would be good, from Obama, so that “mjgl” could also take pictures of the Great Depression we’re having right now! MORE »

R.I.P. SENATOR PELL: One of Rhode Island’s awesomest former senators has died at the age of 90. Claiborne Pell was a big fat liberal and a millionaire who was obsessed with UFOs and jogged around Newport in his old Princeton letter sweater and drove a Mustang with a roll-bar because he was such a bad driver. He helped create the NEA but didn’t like modern art. He also pushed for federal subsidies of higher education, later renamed Pell Grants, without which your editor would have had to join the circus or go to work at the renderer’s. Senator Pell was a comical character straight out of a Fitzgerald novel, and it is really too bad that they don’t make rich people like that anymore. [New York Times, Providence Journal]

A shocking new study by the web concern A Daily Beast proves that American women voters are more furious than usual about the election, because, eh, Hillary Clinton lost to Barack Obama and Sarah Palin is a despicable race-baiting moron. MORE »

Some liberal group of liberals produced a fake edition of the New York Times revealing all the wonderful things that will happen once hippies rule the world, next July. The evil corporate Harvard Business School will close forever; George Bush will be tried for war crimes; and the Patriot Act will be repealed by a 99-1 vote, with only a drunken Jon Kyl dissenting. Jesus, reading this thing is like crawling in Medea Benjamin’s brain. Come join us in a tour of this bleeding-heart masturbation pamphlet. MORE »

Every terrible oversexed gay hedonist dildo-slave recreational-abortionist Democrat in America had sex with every other Democrat in America on Tuesday night in order to celebrate the election of our emperor-clown, Barack Obama. Apparently this is common behavior among humans, this “having sex for fun” thing. Humans also do it when they are sad, or happy, or bored, or want to “change the topic of conversation.” MORE »