Tag Archives: liberal media

  deep thoughts

Sarah Palin Says Donald Trump Is Jesus, Basically

We already know Donald Trump makes Sarah Palin so moist in her granny panty g-string, because of how he is a hero, a gen-u-ine hero just like John McCain, only without the going to war. And we know that Donald Trump thinks Sarah is “tough and smart and just a great woman,” and he’d like to tap her in her moosehole — metaphorically, of course — and let her be the Secretary of Quittin’ Stuff, or maybe even scrawl her name in lipstick on his ballot to be his vice Trump, if we are that lucky. Read more on Sarah Palin Says Donald Trump Is Jesus, Basically…
  How to understand the news when you are a racist

Virginia Journalist Killer Was Black Man, And Wingnuts Are ON IT

The victims were white, and the suspect was black, so … race war, obviously By now, you’ve heard the gruesome news, unless you work at a bar and you’re just now getting up. A disgruntled former employee of WDBJ-TV in Roanoke allegedly carried out a plan to murder two of his former colleagues, Alison Parker and Adam Ward, on camera as Parker was doing a fluff interview about tourism. Suspected gunman, Vester Lee Flanagan II (or Bryce Williams, when he was on camera), posted his crimes on social media, and then he shot himself. He’s reportedly in critical condition. [NOTE: Police report he died at around 1:30 PM ET.] Read more on Virginia Journalist Killer Was Black Man, And Wingnuts Are ON IT…
  the commentczar's in town

Deleted Comments Of The Week: The Illiterate, The Perverse, And The Deranged

Just try to keep the Yaks happy
The deleted comments game is a weird business — sometimes you can predict what topics will draw a lot of crazy comments — guns, Islam, and the Duggars, especially — and then sometimes, there’s a huge news story that doesn’t quite bring out nearly as much derp as we expected. For instance, we were sure that we’d be devoting most of this week’s Dear ShitFerBrains to this week’s Supreme Court decisions: Thursday’s Obamacare ruling and Friday’s complete destruction of America via Ghey Marrying. But apparently those were so traumatic that the Usual Crowd was too busy buying canned foods for the bunker and commiserating on rightwing sites. No doubt after the shock wears off, they’ll begin venturing to Wonkette to tell us precisely which torments we’ll all face in Hell. Ah, but we did hear a fair bit about the Confederate flag, so at least there’s that. Read more on Deleted Comments Of The Week: The Illiterate, The Perverse, And The Deranged…
  the commentczar's in town

Deleted Comments: What Did You Do In The Race War, Daddy?

Hey, Sunbutt, it's the Solstice. Go do your job.
You will probably not be greatly surprised that a large number of our deletia this week came in response to stories about the horrific massacre in Charleston. One story, more than any others — about speculation on Fox News that this was a hate crime against Christians — really brought out the trolls, possibly because even though the story noted that the shooter had told a survivor that his goal was “to kill black people,” it was still early on enough that some people were still comfortably in denial. Or just idiots. Read more on Deleted Comments: What Did You Do In The Race War, Daddy?…
  softball interviews

The Duggar Interview: Why Won’t The Liberal Media Stop Molesting Our Kids?

But Jesus forgave us!
Did you watch the EXCLUSIVE Megyn Kelly interview with Jim Bob and Michelle Duggar last night? The one where Megyn Kelly said she wasn’t going to give them some sort of interrogation about how their son Josh molested his sisters, because hey, look over there, Bill Clinton? If you have been living inside a rock, all you need to know is that Josh Duggar, eldest son of Jim Bob and Michelle, molested five girls, including four of his sisters, starting when he was a teenager. One of his victims was 5 years old at the time. His parents did very little in the way of reporting the crimes, and everybody has been forgiven by Jesus now, HALLELU! Read more on The Duggar Interview: Why Won’t The Liberal Media Stop Molesting Our Kids?…
  Eyes On the Prez

NYT Deletes America’s Real President, George W. Bush, From Selma Photo

Don't you see the outrage?
Some Conservatweeters are very, very upset with the New York Times for a cover photo of Barack Obama at Saturday’s 50th anniversary commemoration of the 1965 civil rights march in Selma, Alabama. You see, the Times photographer, Doug Mills, had “cropped” his photo by focusing on President Barack Obama and Rep. John Lewis, instead of being a completely different photographer standing somewhere else and taking a completely different photograph with a wider angle that included former President George W. Bush: Read more on NYT Deletes America’s Real President, George W. Bush, From Selma Photo…
  People Are Horrible: An Ongoing Series

Idiot Atheist Murders Three Muslim Students In NC; Conservatives Are Greatest Victims

Retroactive Christians
Congratulations, America, we have a whole new terrible murder to turn into a debating point in the Culture Wars! And just to mix things up a bit, the victims were three Muslim students (all of them apparently smart over-achievers who should have had beautiful lives ahead of them), and the accused killer is described variously as an “atheist,” a “radical atheist,” or a “crazed progressive atheist.” Read more on Idiot Atheist Murders Three Muslim Students In NC; Conservatives Are Greatest Victims…
  Only Half As Stupid As He Sounds

Ben Carson Says ISIS Pretty Much Like American Founders, Except Maybe For The Wigs

You know who ELSE called some terrorists the moral equivalent of the founding fathers?
Speaking at the Republican National Committee’s winter meeting Thursday, Ben “I Am TOO A Serious Contender” Carson did one of those “Ben Carson says something crazy” things that we know and love so well, comparing the terrorists of ISIS to America’s Founding Fathers. But don’t you go thinking he’s nuts or anything, because he is not. Read more on Ben Carson Says ISIS Pretty Much Like American Founders, Except Maybe For The Wigs…
  If It's Sunday It's A Good Thing There's A 2:00 Replay

Scott Walker: Only ‘Fresh, Organic’ GOP Governors Can Beat Moldy Old Hillary

We have to admit, Wonketteers, that we did not stick to our Chuck Todd diet. We really did intend to get up every Sunday for Meet the Press to see Chuck’s tough questioning of the Biggest Names in News and stay in shape with his touchscreen map upper-body workouts, but it wasn’t until his first show after the Democrats were sent to live on the farm upstate that he enticed us to come back by landing an EXCLUSIVE interview with Scott Walker, King of Wisconsin. Read more on Scott Walker: Only ‘Fresh, Organic’ GOP Governors Can Beat Moldy Old Hillary…
  Your morning cup of wut?

Fox Solves All Your Selfie Problems, Alaska Is REALLY Weird, And Other News You Can Maybe Use

Just look in the mirror
It’s hump day. So, uh, hump something? While some people are upset about nekkid self-portraits (what the kids these days who should get off our lawn call “selfies”) floating around the interwebs without their consent, Fox News has the perfect solution, as usual. Tell us what it is, Fox & Friends host Steve Doocy (he’s the blond one, we think): Read more on Fox Solves All Your Selfie Problems, Alaska Is REALLY Weird, And Other News You Can Maybe Use…
  Who smells another Peabody for Mr. O'Reilly?

Bill O’Reilly Interrupts Vacation To Win Wingnut Bingo, Michael Brown Edition

You can't handle the derp
Bill O’Reilly took a break from sexphoning women with his fantasies of falafelling them in the shower, or whatever the heck he does for downtime, to let his viewers know he is “furious — furious!” about the unfair and unbalanced media coverage of the killing of Michael Brown. And because every single person reporting on the shooting is failing to report The Truth About Ferguson, O’Reilly is here to set the record straight, and also to let you know just how much he despises Al Sharpton, because wow, does he really hate that guy. Read more on Bill O’Reilly Interrupts Vacation To Win Wingnut Bingo, Michael Brown Edition…
  you sir are no jimmy stewart

Wingnuts Outraged At Lack Of Respect For Ted Cruz’s Fauxibuster, Unlike That Time Everyone Hearted Wendy Davis’s Actual Filibuster

Oh no, you guys, conservatives are having a sad! Sound the Drudge sirens and grab your teeniest tiniest little itty-bittiest violin. You see, while you were sleeping, or maybe watching paint dry because that would still be more exciting, Sen. Ted Cruz (R-Canada) was having himself a staged, pre-arranged, utterly meaningless “filibuster” against Obamacare — not an actual bill, mind you, just Obamacare in general — filled with Nazi comparisons, completely-opposite-of-true “facts” and a stunning misinterpretation of Green Eggs and Ham. Naturally, wingnuts are outraged — outraged, we tell ya! — that the lamestream media did not show Cruz all the respect and deference it showed Texas state Sen. Wendy Davis when she held an actual filibuster against an actual bill by completely ignoring her and instead showing riveting stories about muffins. Let us now have a squiggly-lines flashback to Ladybadass Wendy Davis’s actual filibuster. Read more on Wingnuts Outraged At Lack Of Respect For Ted Cruz’s Fauxibuster, Unlike That Time Everyone Hearted Wendy Davis’s Actual Filibuster…
  lapdogs of democracy

Michelle Malkin Fights For Truth: Can Gun-Grabber Gabby Giffords Even Write Stuff?

A liberal fraud was pushed on you this evening, friends. A dirty untruth, pushed upon you in a sinister plot to take away your weapons. Several news outlets — including your vaunted Washington Post — published a photograph of the handwritten notes former Rep. Gabby Giffords read from at a gun-control hearing this afternoon. The lie? Giffords is not the one who wrote the notes. She can’t write up her own notes? What, is her brain not working right or something? Don’t worry, Michelle Malkin was on the case, and, in the spirit of her Twitchy.com, we will use her tweets to tell our tale! Read more on Michelle Malkin Fights For Truth: Can Gun-Grabber Gabby Giffords Even Write Stuff?…
  chickens coming home to roost

Dumb South Dakota Pol Really Sorry He Told Black Reporter To Go Back To Kenya

Rapid City, SD, Councilman Bill Clayton seems like a swell fella! After all, it only took him five months to apologize to a black reporter for telling her she should be deported to Kenya. And anyway, he did not even know she was black, so he is obviously not racist. Here is something weird, though! The Rapid City Journal characterized his comments as “racist.” Like a million times! What kind of libtards are wrecking the media in South Dakota, that they just SAY something is racist even when a city councilman denies it? We think we have found someone else for WND to execute for treason, next time Free Speech Week rolls around! But let us hear more about Clayton’s scarequote “racist” unscarequote comments! And also the time he kind of sort of maybe threatened the life of a fellow councilmember! (Don’t worry, it was probably just surveyor’s marks.) Read more on Dumb South Dakota Pol Really Sorry He Told Black Reporter To Go Back To Kenya…
  Whine and Jesus Party

A Children’s Treasury of Random Wingnut Post-Election Butthurt (Part Douche)

As we have already pretty much established, America is Over Now, so all that’s left is just sitting around and waiting for the last few remaining embers of Freedom to burn out. If we’re really lucky, the Ancient Mayans or Space Jebus will just smash the Earth and be done with it. So let us see what further Elevated Whining there is to review. To start with, there’s Orson Scott Card, the Mormon propagandist / anti-ghey crusader / science fiction writer who wrote one pretty good novel (OK, and his early stories were often quite nice, too) but has of late declined into a sad, right-wing parody of himself. He has discovered the truly perfidious villains responsible for the reelection of Barack Hussein Obama. You will be astonished to know that it’s all the fault of the Liberal Media! Read more on A Children’s Treasury of Random Wingnut Post-Election Butthurt (Part Douche)…