Here is a heartwarming story: a little boy- or girl-child writes to Barack Obama to say, “Hey man whatsup I want U 2 B purznit” (that is how children write today, in America). And Barack Obama, a man with infinite time and letter-writing resources, pens a unique personal response to each and every one of these precious children and signs it with a nice blue pen! Barack Obama is a magical patron of youngsters — like Santa, only real! Except that he is a fraud. MORE »

Ha ha ha, is there any chance McCain could still drop this grandstanding moron and pick Romney or somebody, er, less stupid and embarrassing? Sarah Palin just said, on the record, that the $150,000 clothes aren’t hers. “Those clothes, they are not my property.” And then a senior adviser on the McCain campaign tells CNN that Palin’s lies “were not the remarks we sent to her plane this morning.” [Ben Smith/CNN]

John McCain, that poor little rich boy, was born in an Admiral’s Castle in the 16th Century, so of course he knows nothing about the Internets, which is why he often repeats some weird depressing thing about how millions of Americans are desperately selling off their meager consumer belongings on eBay, as if there’s something dignified about auctioning off your beanie-baby collection to make rent. Oh, and did you know his wonderful campaign business-lady Secretary of McCain Commerce founded eBay all by herself? That is also a lie. MORE »

KDKA in Pittsburgh reports this BREAKING NEWS item: “A Pittsburgh police commander says a volunteer for the McCain campaign who reported being robbed and attacked near a bank ATM in Bloomfield has confessed to making up the story. Police say charges will be filed.” Ah HA HA HA HAH HAH. Do not try to bullshit Wonkette, people! It might work on old Gullible McDrudge, but not here. Good work, cut-nut! [KDKA]

Oh look, it’s past one o’clock on any day, which means John Kerry has just e-mailed all of Washington his 64th press release of the early afternoon. And what is it about? Murder. MURRRRRDER.

John McCain would very much appreciate it if Democrats quit calling him “confused” and saying he has “lost his bearings.” These are despicable code words used by silver-tongued political operatives who want to make UNFAIR IMPLICATIONS about John McCain. But what are they trying to imply, exactly? MORE »

The worst part about this collection of McCain lies and screwups and mostly lies is that they’re all from the past two years or so — and most are from this campaign. Imagine what’s going to happen when people start digging up quotes and clips from the other seven decades of his famous life. [YouTube]

This saucy minx is Becky Miller, the mayor of Carrollton, Texas, a Dallas suburb with 116,000 wonderful inhabitants. According to herself, she has dated and sung with all sorts of popular musicians from the 1970s, and her brother once died in Vietnam. But perhaps her crowning achievement is that she made all of this stuff up. MORE »

EARLIER: Did Hillary Clinton Really ‘Shake Hands’ With MLK When She Was 14?

Hillary Clinton just gave a speech exploiting the assassination of MLK somberly remembering the assassination of Martin Luther King Jr., and she added a (new to us) detail: Hillary claims she saw the Reverend King speak and even shook his hand, when she was 14 years old. Wonkette operatives “Gary & Marilyn” ask, “Doesn’t her attendance at such an event sound unlikely for a Goldwater Girl? I can’t find my copy of her autobiography, think that would have been a memorable event she would have written about at the time … so I’m putting this in your capable fact-checkers’ hands.” MORE »

This thrilling Hillary-In-Bosnia video is apparently from the same people who make the “Obama Girl” videos, and now we love them because this is awesome. But we don’t see Sinbad anywhere, so it must be a fake. [YouTube]