Tag Archives: liars

  Won't somebody think of the younglings?

The Snake Oil Bulletin: Anti-Vaxxer Death Squads Will Set Us Free

Welcome back, folks! It’s time again for the Snake Oil Bulletin, your weekly guide for all the hottest tips and tricks to feng shui your crystals into an alignment more conducive for your chakral energy surges. Y’know, bullshit. We’ve got a full collection of stories to cover so let’s dive right in. Read more on The Snake Oil Bulletin: Anti-Vaxxer Death Squads Will Set Us Free…
  to the least of my children

The Stupidest Man On The Internet Ran A Bogus Story That Shut Down A Plan To Help Border Children. Hooray!

Jim Hoft’s idiocy is usually merely paranoid and malicious, but mostly the crap he projectile vomits onto the interwebs does little more than whip up the wingnut howler monkey brigade’s lowest passions. They throw poo, and move on. This time, though, he’s really scored a coup: Hoft ran a lie-filled story by Stupidest Guest Blogger on the Internet Kristinn Taylor, with the pretty much fact-free screaming headline “FEDS TO OPEN $50 MILLION RESORT for ILLEGAL CHILDREN — Complete With Tennis Courts, Sauna & Pools.” My goodness that’s shocking! And it’s also pretty much one lie after the next. But here’s the kicker: After the story hit the Wingnuttosphere, it generated so much hate that a charity that was going to buy and refurbish a run-down motel to house immigrant children announced that it was going to drop the plan. So now the kids can remain in the overcrowded jail-like conditions that Hoft was decrying a week ago. Read more on The Stupidest Man On The Internet Ran A Bogus Story That Shut Down A Plan To Help Border Children. Hooray!…
  Lies Damn Lies and Darrell Issa

Darrell Issa Calls Darrell Issa Reckless in IRS Probe

You know what’s fun? Watching politicians be giant crybabies about an issue, only to turn around and be total hypocrites on that very same issue! Rep. Darrell Issa (R-Satan’s Bunghole) is the latest to do so, this time on the issue of transparency. Remember when Rep. Issa  went on the teevee to talk to CNN’s Candy Crowley about the IRS and to call Obama’s press secretary a lying liar? Prior to going on the show, Rep. Issa released partial transcripts of interviews with IRS employees. In a rare glimpse of some actual journalism, Crowley repeatedly pointed out that they were in fact partial, and that even the “good parts” version didn’t show any definitive skulduggery. In response, Issa said that other parts of the transcript will make clear that the White House is full of evil serpents ready to eat the babies of Tea Party patriots, or some such unsubstantiated nonsense. Crowley asked the obvious question: will you release the entire transcripts, because you know, transparency and shit? Rep. Issa’s forked tongue hissed, “these transcripts will all be made public.” Really? For reals? You will never, ever guess where that vow ended up!  Read more on Darrell Issa Calls Darrell Issa Reckless in IRS Probe…
 

Was Loser Congressman Thad McCotter House Of Cardsed By Evil Staffer? Sure Why Not

So remember Thad McCotter? The nobody Congressman who ran for president of the Iowa Straw Poll and lost, and then failed to gather enough real petition signatures to run for reelection, and then quit Congress in a blaze of glory and banal Dylan lyrics as his former staffers were about to be indicted for petition fraud? Yeah, that Thad McCotter. But maybe Thad wasn’t such a bad guy. Maybe he was a patsy. A pigeon. A mark. Someone nefarious forces could put in a frame and take control of the all-powerful 10th Congressional District of Michigan. And maybe those nefarious forces intentionally forged those petition signatures so McCotter would get caught and They could House of Cards replace him with Their hand-picked Congressman to do their bidding in western Wayne County Michigan. It all makes perfect sense. Tattaglia is a pimp. He never could have outfought Yr Wonket’s Thaddeus. But he didn’t know until this day that it was Barzini all along. Read more on Was Loser Congressman Thad McCotter House Of Cardsed By Evil Staffer? Sure Why Not…
  that's so gay

Everyone So Mad At Terrible Michigan RNC Committeeman Homophobe Dave Agema Being Terrible

Dave Agema, the Republican National Committeeman from Michigan and former state representative, is a Wonkette favorite. Wonketeers love him for his charming efforts to cut funding to a program that buys clothes for orphans, his willingness to miss key budget votes to shoot Siberian sheep, his fondness for tear-gassing American citizens, his deep-abiding belief that Barack Obama must be a Muslim, his endless curiosity about The Onion’s Obama has a secret 19-year-old son story, and his trophy wife that Wonkette commenter “Barbara_” says came engraved “fourth place.” Sadly, not everyone loves Dave Agema like you guys love him. Lots of mean, old Republicans are upset with Agema because he Facebooked a column from this right-wing witchdoctor that’s filled with erroneous information about teh gheys. It’s like, what, suddenly now it’s a problem to say “homosexuals account for half the murders in large cities”? Whatever happened to free speech and family values and the God-given right to kick homos in the teeth? With votes. Those things are gone now apparently. Even Michigan Speaker of the House Jase Bolger, who once bravely protected us from the horrors of the word “vagina” being uttered on the state house floor, is joining this lavander mob that’s bullying poor Dave Agema for repeating things that are easily disprovable and mostly implausible on their face. Read more on Everyone So Mad At Terrible Michigan RNC Committeeman Homophobe Dave Agema Being Terrible…
  good goshy benghazi

Candy Crowley Did, But Didn’t, But Actually Did Back Down From Correcting Mittens On Libya

Last night, human dishonesty machine Mitt Romney lied about Barack Obama not calling the attack on the Benghazi consulate an “act of terror” for fourteen days. Candy Crowley (or CanCrow, as the kids call her) corrected Mitt, because he was gloriously, spectacularly wrong. ROMNEY: I want to make sure we get that for the record because it took the president 14 days before he called the attack in Benghazi an act of terror. OBAMA: Get the transcript. CROWLEY: It — it — it — he did in fact, sir. So let me — let me call it an act of terror… OBAMA: Can you say that a little louder, Candy? CROWLEY: He — he did call it an act of terror. It did as well take — it did as well take two weeks or so for the whole idea there being a riot out there about this tape to come out. You are correct about that. BOOM, MAN WHOSE NAME IS A CLOTHING ACCESSORY FOR HANDS. Mitt pretty much ganked a talking point from every dumb conservative blogger on the internet without checking it (including the Internet’s Dumbest Man and Woman, Jim Hoft and Michelle Malkin). If he had, he would have realized that Obama called Benghazi an “act of terror” the very next day after it happened, then again the day after in Colorado just in case motherfuckers weren’t listening. Here’s the problem, though: CanCrow is arguing that Mitt was “right in the main” about Libya because, er, the Obama administration said it was an “act of terror” motivated by a movie rather than by evil black terror hearts or whatever actually causes terrorism. (Video below the fold.) Read more on Candy Crowley Did, But Didn’t, But Actually Did Back Down From Correcting Mittens On Libya…
  i said nothing when they came for the axelrod

Wall Street Journal: To Use The Word ‘Liar Is To Kill Six Million Jews

Mitt Romney stated things during the debate last week that were often in direct contravention of both reality and things he had previously stated. If you’re wondering why I don’t use the L-word (“liar,” not “lesbian”), it’s because, as Daniel Henninger states at the Wall Street Journal today, “liar” is the linguistic harbinger of fascism. “Liar” is a potent and ugly word with a sleazy political pedigree. But “liar” is not being deployed only by party attack dogs or the Daily Kos comment queue. Mitt Romney is being called a “liar” by officials at the top of the Obama re-election campaign. That’s shameful! What are they doing? Politics isn’t beanbag, but politicians past had all sorts of devices to say or suggest an opponent was playing fast and loose with the truth. This week’s Obama TV ad, “How Can We Trust Mitt Romney?” would have been perfectly legit absent the Plouffe “liar” prepping. So, the problem isn’t saying that someone is an untruthful, anti-American piece of festering shit, just don’t call them a liar. But why? Read more on Wall Street Journal: To Use The Word ‘Liar Is To Kill Six Million Jews…
  an convenient truth

Al Gore: ‘Embarrassing’ ‘Shallow’ GOP Candidate Probably Rhymes With ‘Smick Smantorum’ (AUDIO!)

Aging dirty hippie Al Gore called into the new Bill Press show “Full Court Press” (get it?) on Current TV to point and laugh at all the stupid GOP candidates, and to say their debates are astonishingly shallow, and to aver that surely even the majority of Republicans are embarrassed by these Little Torquemadas who have managed to time travel from the 1800s before Nazis invented the PIll. (Pssst, Rick Santorum, we are pretty sure he is talking about you.) Why must Al Gore be such a pathological liar? Perhaps Rick Santorum would like to call bullshit on that! Read more on Al Gore: ‘Embarrassing’ ‘Shallow’ GOP Candidate Probably Rhymes With ‘Smick Smantorum’ (AUDIO!)…
  what an asshole!

Lying Liar Newt Gingrich Lies All Day Long, Is a Huge Liar

Pop quiz time! How many of the following things in this paraphrase of some dumb thing Stay-Puft clone Newt Gingrich said during a recent GOP debate are true: “The $300,000 I was paid by Freddie Mac were for my services as, uh, a historian.” Correct answer: ZERO. Newt was paid at least $1.6 million, and part of his job was to shill Freddie Mac’s good name to congressional Republicans who wanted to burn the government-backed mortgage giant to the ground. Of course, it also turns out that Newt was earning all these piles of silly monies by lying about his True Feelings, since he immediately started to trash Freddie Mac the minute he stopped getting their checks. Read more on Lying Liar Newt Gingrich Lies All Day Long, Is a Huge Liar…
  obama-cheney 2012

Obama Administration Invents Reason To Keep Troops In Iraq Forever

Deadlines are for losers, right? The Obama Administration will ignore a deadline this year to withdraw U.S. troops from Iraq, because why not. Defense Secretary/CIA chief/Clinton hack Leon Panetta will reportedly keep 4,000 U.S. troops in Iraq for “training,” which is always a great trouble-free way to keep the United States’ claws all over the world, forever. Panetta probably remembers this from when he served as a U.S. Army intelligence officer during America’s war against Vietnam. Read more on Obama Administration Invents Reason To Keep Troops In Iraq Forever…
  chairman trump of china

Donald Trump’s Crappy ‘Men’s Fashion’ Line Made In China, Of Course

Did you know Donald “The Dildo” Trump also has a line of crappy men’s accessories? Apparently true! And you would never ever see such things in real life unless you worked in accounting at some used car dealership in Ocean City, Maryland. But, if for some reason you know one of those CostCo shoppers who legitimately “looks up” to Donald Trump and buys those snake-oil books that never seem to mention how Trump was born rich and still repeatedly went bankrupt and has the morals of an alley cat with none of the charm, then you will want to email this person’s AOL account and let them know that Donald Trump’s crappy neckties and etc. are all made in Communist China. Read more on Donald Trump’s Crappy ‘Men’s Fashion’ Line Made In China, Of Course…
  but nazis are just like mexicans

Jan Brewer’s Dad Did Not Die ‘Fighting the Nazis,’ No Matter What She Says

America’s bravest Fighter of Mexicans, Arizona governor Jan Brewer, just can’t stop talking about all the good reasons to round up brown people and kill them. After all, didn’t the Nazis round up all the Jews and Catholics and Queers and Other Minorities and kill them? Exactly. Oh wait, but the Nazis were the Bad Guys? Jeez this is totally confusing. Okay, so Nazis should be hunted like Mexicans are hunted? This is starting to make sense — especially to Jan Brewer, who knows quite a lot about the sacrifices people make while fighting Nazis. Her father used to do that! Hell, he died doing that, which is super brave, in Nazi Germany. Only this is just a completely made-up bullshit lie and Jan Brewer should be buried alive beneath the Holocaust Museum. Read more on Jan Brewer’s Dad Did Not Die ‘Fighting the Nazis,’ No Matter What She Says…
  worst person ever

Joe Lieberman Considers Killing Health Care Reform, Obama’s Entire First Term Agenda, Dem Majorities In Both Chambers, Etc.

If you’re interested in health care reform, and only have time today to get really really pissed off at one Congressional development, check out this bit of “Joementum” sweeping through the news: “Sen. Joe Lieberman (I-CT) told reporters today that he would in fact filibuster any health care bill he doesn’t agree with–and right now, he doesn’t agree with the public option proposal making its way through the Senate.” THINKING VERY VIOLENT THOUGHTS. Read more on Joe Lieberman Considers Killing Health Care Reform, Obama’s Entire First Term Agenda, Dem Majorities In Both Chambers, Etc….
  rogue dingbats

Rogue Sarah Palin Called Liar By McCain Campaign

Ha ha ha, is there any chance McCain could still drop this grandstanding moron and pick Romney or somebody, er, less stupid and embarrassing? Sarah Palin just said, on the record, that the $150,000 clothes aren’t hers. “Those clothes, they are not my property.” And then a senior adviser on the McCain campaign tells CNN that Palin’s lies “were not the remarks we sent to her plane this morning.” [Ben Smith/CNN] Read more on Rogue Sarah Palin Called Liar By McCain Campaign…
  losing bids

John McCain Lies About eBay, Too

John McCain, that poor little rich boy, was born in an Admiral’s Castle in the 16th Century, so of course he knows nothing about the Internets, which is why he often repeats some weird depressing thing about how millions of Americans are desperately selling off their meager consumer belongings on eBay, as if there’s something dignified about auctioning off your beanie-baby collection to make rent. Oh, and did you know his wonderful campaign business-lady Secretary of McCain Commerce founded eBay all by herself? That is also a lie. Read more on John McCain Lies About eBay, Too…
  surprise surprise

BREAKING: McCAIN CUT-NUT MADE IT UP!

KDKA in Pittsburgh reports this BREAKING NEWS item: “A Pittsburgh police commander says a volunteer for the McCain campaign who reported being robbed and attacked near a bank ATM in Bloomfield has confessed to making up the story. Police say charges will be filed.” Ah HA HA HA HAH HAH. Do not try to bullshit Wonkette, people! It might work on old Gullible McDrudge, but not here. Good work, cut-nut! [KDKA] Read more on BREAKING: McCAIN CUT-NUT MADE IT UP!…