levi johnston
Levi Johnston Broke After Squandering Playgirl Pay On Boats And Guns And Stuff
It’s been a fun few years, but now Levi Johnston, once and future sperm gifter extraordinaire, has joined every other 22-year-old in America and become broke and a tenant in his mother’s home. According to a report in US Weekly, Levi has already (“already”) squandered his $1 million winnings from being Mr. Playgirl Winter 2010 [...]
Which Randomly Generated Nouns Will Levi Johnston Name His Baby?
Dunno if yall done heard it, Levi Johnston forgot to wrap his pecker ‘gain and done made another baby! But which randomly paired nouns will he and his sweetheart, Sunny Oglesby — of whom he has not yet made an honest woman — pluck from a spittoon and apply directly to the forehead of their [...]
Bristol Palin Absolutely Not Sexing Anyone, Says Bristol Palin
Bristol Palin is setting the record straight about ‘putting a ring on it’ vs ‘trial marriage’ (getting dick). Despite her past struggles of tagging hockey players, having a child out of wedlock and pretending to be a Christian, Bristol is super totally not “doing it” with the hot dude your Wonkette said Bristol was totally [...]
Bristol Palin On Levi Johnston Baby News: ‘I Said No Way, Shut Up!’
HELLO. Have you heard all the important news that has been going on all week, like Barack Obama personally murdering Ann Romney with his mommyblog, and some guy acting like he is a big Mr. Hero? WELL THERE IS MORE! Levi Johnston is having another baby y’all (you heard that here first-ish) and estranged babymama [...]
Idiocracy Posterboy Levi Johnston Will Out-Procreate Us All
What’s Levi Johnston’s superhuman jizz got that chicks crave? It’s got electrolytes. The 21-year-old log of freshly pressed processed meats is now working on baby number at-least-two with his girlfriend, Sunny Oglesby, who is 20 but a teacher? Did she graduate from college at 19 because she is a supergenius, or is that “teacher”? Is [...]
Sarah Palin Refused To Be Called ‘Grandma’ After Grandson’s Birth
Is there anything left to add to the dumb saga of Sarah Palin and Levi Johnston’s eternal(ly profitable) turf war over the banal story of things going in and out of Bristol Palin’s uterus? NO, except for ONE HILARIOUS/DUMB THING, courtesy of the miserable AP reporter assigned to cull dirt from an advance copy of Levi Johnston’s [...]
Naked Levi Johnston’s Sister Now Also Naked And Yelling At Bristol Palin
What are the bitter, unemployed naked young people in Wasilla doing these days between meth come downs? Still aborting America’s collective remaining brain cells one by one with the gale-force toxic winds of their regularly scheduled rants rehashing the gross details of Bristol Palin’s achievements in unprotected sex? Yes, is your answer. Secondary Palin family [...]
Levi’s Sister Says Bristol Palin Was Part of Teen Sex Tent Party, With Levi
Are we still talking about the sex lives of former teenagers in Alaska during the Sexy Summer of ’08? Well then, Levi Johnston’s sister, Mercede Johnston, has a hot new blog review of Bristol’s teen vampire fiction, Not Afraid of Publicity. According to Levi’s sister, who knows all about what Bristol did that summer because [...]
Levi Johnston Has a Humorous Book Cover
Like everything this kid does, this will end up being a boring disappointment. (EXCEPT FOR THE MIRACLE OF LIFE/REALITY SHOWS/PRO-LIFE MONEY HE [GOD] GAVE BRISTOL. THANK YOU, SPERM! EXCEPT DON’T THANK YOU, BECAUSE ABSTINENCE.) But this is slightly amusing. [Amazon]
Levi Johnston Book About Palin Family Coming Soon, In Book Form
Playgirl model and father of at least one “Palin baby” Levi Johnston is about to add another accomplishment to his resume: literary sensation. Levi, who became famous for impregnating one of Sarah Palin’s children, is the author of the forthcoming Deer in the Headlights: My Life in Sarah Palin’s Crosshairs. C’mon, Levi, those are just [...]
Latest Wasilla Success Story: Mercede Johnston Posing For Playboy
According to the world’s most trusted news source, some celebrity website we’ve never heard of, Levi Johnston’s sister Mercede is going to pose nude for Playboy. Why? And why now? Well, America collectively said, “Who? What? Sure,” when they were asked if they wanted to see Levi Johnston’s gonads in Playgirl, and it turns out [...]
Bristol Palin Mumbles Dumbly To Alaska ‘Rock Jocks’
America’s princess, Bristol Palin, did an exclusive phone-in with these two minor-market FM morning show announcers all about the mysteries of her life — and she called in from her Arizona stucco ghetto foreclosure about 50 miles outside of Phoenix, surrounded by garbage and cotton fields and bits of rock, and you can almost see [...]
Bristol Palin’s Music Video Even Worse Than Levi’s Somehow
It is ABSOLUTELY IMMORAL that Levi Johnston would trade on his Palin fame by appearing in a music video. That family’s life is private and should not be exploited for money. What’s that? Teenage girls’ anti-abortion hero and Dancing with the Stars personality Bristol Palin is appearing in a music video also? Well good for [...]
Levi Johnston Makes Gross Porn Video With Some Old Lady
Remember when Levi Johnston went and made some dumb music video? Of course you do, because this fact is important to your survival as a living being on Earth. Well, now this music video is available on an Internet box, so you can watch Levi Johnston humping some 50-year-old woman who is supposed to be [...]
Lawrence O’Donnell Goes Over Famous Genius Levi Johnston’s Head
Hey now! It’s new MSNBC gotcha journalist Lawrence O’Donnell! He’s got a show on that teevee librul treehouse now. The show features animated clouds floating over the New York City skyline behind O’Donnell’s head, chiefly. But yesterday it also featured Levi Johnston, and Lawrence O’Donnell asked Levi serious foreign policy questions, because Lawrence O’Donnell is [...]
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