Sometimes it’s easy to forget how much time America’s leaders spend just farting around the House and Senate floor, talking COMPLETE NONSENSE. For example: this Indiana loon recently felt compelled to follow up on some other congressperson’s important comparison between lettuce and tobacco, while he could have been doing something really important for his state, like Twittering about how lettuce kills people. [C-SPAN]

Today Barack Obama and Hillary Clinton both took some time to profess their enduring love and affection for legendary civil rights leader Cesar Chavez — but only one of these candidates loves Cesar Chavez enough to call for a national holiday in his honor. Guess who? It’s the same candidate who also plagiarized the three words Chavez invented many years ago, Si Se Puede (HINT: Barack Obama). Meanwhile, John McCain celebrated by angrily eating a bunch of grapes. [Chicago Tribune]

Barry Hussein Obama is not just hampered by his relatives Osama bin Laden and Saddam Hussein. His real problem, campaign experts agree, is that he’s one of those fancy smart guys who have money and went to Ivy League universities and eat fancy lettuce from Whole Foods. That’s alien to most voters, with only 34% of Democrat voters holding a college degree and just one-tenth of one percent of them as wealthy as the Obama family. MORE »

Barry Hussein Obama is not like Regular Americans — you know, the 95% of Americans who aren’t wealthy, good looking, slim and fancy eaters. All the presidential candidates are pretty well off, except for bankrupt Mike Gravel and (allegedly) Joe Biden, so Obama shouldn’t get any special trouble for being a super rich Ivy League elitist … unless he brings it upon himself. MORE »