Tag Archives: lesbians

  hippity hop

Michael Steele Is Now Going To Wreck MSNBC

Michael Steele was (barely) chosen as the Republican Party chairman a few years ago as a response to Barack Obama’s election to the presidency. Not a political response, so much as an image-y kind of thing. It’s hard to remember now, but the trend in 2008-2009 was all about tall, dark and handsome men. Especially the “dark” part. But the Republicans only had creepy old goatee-man Alan Keyes and bald Maryland mediocrity Michael Steele to choose from, and what’s his name, the pizza man, hadn’t yet been born. (Herman Cain is a super baby, were you aware?) So they, the Republicans, picked Michael Steele to run the Republican party. And all the angry white old people promptly started their own Republican Party, but without the black people, and they called this the “Tea Party” (even though they mostly drank Sprite). Now Michael Steele has finished his work at the RNC, and is going to be a TV star with Rachel Maddow and … I don’t know anyone else on MSNBC. Conan O’Brien? Read more on Michael Steele Is Now Going To Wreck MSNBC…
  speaketh the olds

Pat Robertson Exposes Lesbian Plot To Rid World’s Women of Babies

DUM DUM DUM DUM DUMMMMMMMM. What advantage does a lesbian have over a married woman? She doesn’t have to seek love from a planet full of dickwad men, that’s right. But what deficiency does she have? She doesn’t have equal rights, correct! Wait, let’s try that again. Read more on Pat Robertson Exposes Lesbian Plot To Rid World’s Women of Babies…
  northern overexposure

Bristol Palin Attempts Some Sort of Joke-Like Phrase Involving Lesbians

Bristol Palin has posted a new Facebook post, arguing about something or other with former comedian Margaret Cho, because Bristol wants to stretch out her time on the dancing teevee show into actual celebrity or something, we guess. Cho said some inane, unfunny thing about Bristol, so Bristol used the word “canard” again and also the word “calculus,” a subject she didn’t take in high school, we presume. (Though she earned that B+ in Basic Canards.) Anyway, Bristol made a joke at the expense of lesbians, according to the Internet. But this “joke” lacks a coherent joke structure, so it is basically a weird comment about lesbian musicians, with the intent for it to be a joke of some kind, probably. Politics. Government. Public affairs. Read more on Bristol Palin Attempts Some Sort of Joke-Like Phrase Involving Lesbians…
  friend of dorothy

O’Donnell Regrets Witch Ad, Wants To Kill Witches & Dress As Dorothy

Delaware masturbation witch and constitutional scholar Christine O’Donnell finally did another teevee interview! It is super boring, but we’ll post it just in case you (like most Americans) have a lot of time on your hands. Better to watch a dull ABC News interview with jobless sex activist Christine O’Donnell rather than let your idle hands be led by the devil to your genitals! Because that is certainly not one of the “Five Guys’ Freedoms” in the amendment thingy O’Donnell learned about at Hogwarts. But does she regret the ridiculous “I’m not a witch” commercial that provided America with so much comedy during these long last weeks of the midterm campaign? Yes she does! More importantly, she has been thinking a lot about her Halloween costume. Read more on O’Donnell Regrets Witch Ad, Wants To Kill Witches & Dress As Dorothy…
  the homosexuals!

Jeebus Lady Cindy Jacobs Repents For All Lesbians, Cleanses Craigslist

Your Wonkette reporter of The Homosexuals is back bearing good news, or as they like to call it in church, “a new gospel”: All of the world’s lesbians have been fully repented for! This happened last week, in Sacramento, at a big Jesus party thrown by My Boyfriend Lou Engle. Though he has failed utterly in his mission from God to save San Francisco from Chadd, the three-story-tall homosexual Jesus giant, Lou called in a crazy Jeebus lady named Cindy Jacobs to take care of all the lesbians, and oh boy, did she ever! Read more on Jeebus Lady Cindy Jacobs Repents For All Lesbians, Cleanses Craigslist…
  the epic war of homosexuality and our baked goods

House Hopeful Says Girl Scouts Are Lesbortionists

Despite the encouraging fact that your President Obama hates the Girl Scouts, Real AmeriKKKA knows that this lady-driven NGO is just a haven for rug-munching, carpet-licking, hole-fisting feminazis! Or at least that’s what Republican Hans Zeiger, House candidate from Washington, wrote once, on these very Internets! Yes, it seems this handsome twentysomething gent with the Palinesque spectacles (who serves as an Assistant Scoutmaster in the totally non-rapey Boy Scouts of America!) hates little girls and their dreams. And man, is he pissed that the bitches get all the good press! Here’s a gem from a few years ago: Read more on House Hopeful Says Girl Scouts Are Lesbortionists…
  next: that a nad dropping out of her shorts?

BREAKING FOOTAGE: 234-Year-Old ‘America’ Experiment Collapses On Self

This is a pretty informative montage of cable-news journalism that TPM has put together. Sure, we’ve known for 40+ years that Pat Buchanan was a lesbian, after he let it slip mid-sentence in one of those “Southern Strategy” memos. But Joe Scarborough? Didn’t know Joe Scarborough was a lesbian. CORRECTION: We knew Joe Scarborough was a lesbian. [YouTube] Read more on BREAKING FOOTAGE: 234-Year-Old ‘America’ Experiment Collapses On Self…
  what up

Michael Steele Bravely Fires Underlings Over Strippergate

RNC comedy chairman Michael Steele has finally stepped up and taken responsibility for the Republicans’ insane bondage-lesbian-strip-club party spending, if by “stepped up” you mean “he fired the finance director and the deputy finance director.” (He fired another minor character in this sexytime melodrama back in March.) Steele, America’s Number One hilarious person, told RNC moneyman Rob Bickhart and his assistant moneylady, Debbie LeHardy, that they would have to resign so that Michael Steele could keep his absurdly cushy job and royal office all so he can help the Republicans continue to provide jokes for comedians. [AP/TPM] Read more on Michael Steele Bravely Fires Underlings Over Strippergate…
  america's strip-club capitals

After Rager At Club Voyeur, RNC ‘Young Eagles’ Off To Las Vegas & New Orleans

Michael Steele’s exclusive fraternity, the GOP “Young Eagles,” just rolls from strip joint to strip joint, blowing two-grand a pop on Kristol and lap dances. And dumb Republican donors pay for all this, while Socialism is the Law of the Land! What are these Young Republicans typing to each other, anyway? Read more on After Rager At Club Voyeur, RNC ‘Young Eagles’ Off To Las Vegas & New Orleans…
  republicans in the news

Poor Sap Was Just Covering RNC’s Rejected Credit Card At Bondage Strip Club

Jeez, Michael Steele’s Republican Party is just throwing its own loyalists under the bus for the hell of it. Turns out Orange County GOP donor Erik Brown covered the Republicans’ party tab at lesbian-bondage disco-strip-bar Club Voyeur West because the RNC’s credit card was rejected. The RNC staffer reportedly said to Brown, who was sitting at the table, “Please help me out and I’ll be sure you are reimbursed right away by the RNC.” Yeah uh and we’ll make sure to ruin your life, too. Read more on Poor Sap Was Just Covering RNC’s Rejected Credit Card At Bondage Strip Club…
  this is our watergate

Is Orange County GOP Donor Erik Brown Just Michael Steele’s Faux-Lesbo Strip Club Patsy?

Wonkette pal (and your editor’s former editor at LA CityBeat) Rebecca Schoenkopf sends this note regarding Erik Brown, the Orange County GOP donor now taking the fall for the RNC’s $2,000 sexytime at West Hollywood’s Club Voyeur bondage-lesbian den of debauchery: “I know Erik Brown really well; we used to do a radio show together,” Schoenkopf writes. “There is simply NO FUCKING WAY it was he.” Full craziness follows: Read more on Is Orange County GOP Donor Erik Brown Just Michael Steele’s Faux-Lesbo Strip Club Patsy?…
  what up

Michael Steele Spends Teabaggers’ Dollars On Lesbian Sex-Show Nightclubs In West Hollywood

America’s #1 Republican, GOP Chairman Michael Steele, likes to “make it rain” at fancy liberal sex clubs. According to important new Republican webzine The Daily Caller, just last month Steele “spent $1,946.25 at Voyeur West Hollywood, a bondage-themed nightclub featuring topless women dancers imitating lesbian sex.” He dropped more than $15,000 at the Beverly Hills Hotel and Four Seasons on the same February trip to LA. UPDATE: Oh and now the RNC says it wasn’t Steele dropping two grand at the sex club, but an unnamed other GOP fat-cat. Oh really, please tell us more! Read more on Michael Steele Spends Teabaggers’ Dollars On Lesbian Sex-Show Nightclubs In West Hollywood…
  exciting new youtubes

Barack Obama Telephones Lesbian

Hmm… it appears, from what we would infer to be a “polite” tone here, that Barack Obama will not pursue crippling sanctions against the city of Houston for electing some lesbian as its mayor. GRRRR, THESE DEMOCRATS! [Burnt Orange Report via Ben Smith] Read more on Barack Obama Telephones Lesbian…
  historical milestones

Gay Lady Elected Mayor Of Houston, Which Is In Texas (?!?)

Have you heard? Gays are, apparently, allowed to run for political office in Texas! One such gay actually won the mayoralty of Houston this weekend. Let’s learn a little bit more about Mayor-elect Annise Parker, who offers a winning combination of fiscal management skills and lesbianism. Read more on Gay Lady Elected Mayor Of Houston, Which Is In Texas (?!?)…
  typical

Barack Obama Gives Presidential Medal of Freedom To Bunch of Homosexuals, Blacks, Women & Muslims

Today, the LG-BLT crowd is finally happy with the breeder Barack Obama, because he has awarded the Presidential Medal of Freedom to an alive lesbian (Billie Jean King) and a dead gay man (Harvey Milk) along with many sundry black people from both Africa and (maybe?) the United States. Also: Stephen Hawking, a known scientist/god-hater and Englishman, and Ted Kennedy, a liberal. Full list after the jump! Read more on Barack Obama Gives Presidential Medal of Freedom To Bunch of Homosexuals, Blacks, Women & Muslims…
  end college forever

Dumb GW Students Bring Swine Flu To DC

Goddamnit, OF COURSE the first “residents” of Washington to get the pig AIDS are a couple of twats at the most expensive school in America, George Washington University. From the GW newspaper: “[Department of Health head Peter Pierre] Vigilance said that the cases have been sent the Centers for Disease Control for further testing. The two female students were infected because one student traveled to ‘an area of concern’ and then passed the virus to the other student, Vigilance said.” Thanks a lot, lesbians! [GW Hatchet] Read more on Dumb GW Students Bring Swine Flu To DC…
  us in two years tops

Iceland, The Country, Basically Gives Up

We last heard of “Iceland” in the fall during those first exciting weeks of the Global Great Depression, when our proudly “interconnected” global economy did what it ultimately was designed to do: self-implode all at once. Since most/all of Iceland’s prosperity in the last decade was derived from a burgeoning financial sector, all of its banks immediately defaulted and were nationalized; the government raised interests rates to 18% or so to secure a do-or-die loan from the evil IMF, leading other European countries to call them losers and de-friend them, and voila: welcome to the THIRD WORLD, Iceland! Hope you remembered to pack a lunch! This was the backdrop for this week’s developments, in which every government official got cancer and resigned, and then the government *itself* resigned, and now they’re just going to let some lesbian run everything. Read more on Iceland, The Country, Basically Gives Up…
 

Jenna and Laura Bush, On Ellen’s TeeVee Show!

You will certainly want to watch all eight minutes of Jenna and Laura’s crazy time over on the lesbian teevee show! Let us know if anything good happens. For us, the highlight was about 35 seconds in when Jenna sits down and crosses her legs and flashes some panty. And then we quit watching, because who fucking cares what these people say, right? [Campaign Circus] Read more on Jenna and Laura Bush, On Ellen’s TeeVee Show!…
 

Chelsea Clinton Groped By Lesbians

Chelsea was doing a gay bar crawl in Philadelphia on Friday night and while she was walking around some lady said “I grabbed her ass,” and David Shuster wept because this was proof positive that the Clintons were pimping their daughter out. Read more on Chelsea Clinton Groped By Lesbians…
 

Did Monica Goodling Fire Some Lesbian?

Everyone’s favorite ex-Justice Department lady exterminator, Monica Goodling, may have fired some gal in 2006 for being a thoroughgoing LESBIAN. The DoJ’s inspector general is investigating this allegation, among others, in the never-ending U.S. Attorneys Firing Scandal investigation. As you may have heard, Monica Goodling recently got engaged to some guy from RedState, our frienemy in the War on Paultards. But does he know that before getting engaged, this very same Goodling was going around firing LESBIANS everywhere? Read more on Did Monica Goodling Fire Some Lesbian?…
 

Condi’s Running Out of Time

A Condoleezza road show is so much fun! Our Condi bounced from Egypt to Ramallah to Tel Aviv to Brussels, enjoying several perfect photo-ops along the way. The only problem was that outside the photo-ops, it was one of the most incriminating Condiweeks EVER, brimming with embarrassments, snubs, that Gaza Strip thing, and OMG, Glenn Kessler! So mean! Let’s all pile on with Glenn after the jump! Read more on Condi’s Running Out of Time…