SCANDAL ALERT: Condi Rice co-owns a house with a Stanford liberal documentary director who used to make liberal documentaries with Bill Moyers! What a hypocrite. Rice, of course, works for an administration that is totally conservative and always doing things against liberals — and now we find out that she shares a home with a liberal?

According to Washington Post diplomatic correspondent Glenn Kessler’s book about Condi — which we sort of flipped through, but obviously not closely enough — Rice owns a house with liberal filmmaker Randy Bean. Oh, and there’s a third co-owner, too: “Coit Blacker, a Stanford professor who is openly gay.” Oh, and Randy Bean’s a woman. MORE »

Popular lesbian Ellen DeGeneres will visit New York City to make a teevee show starring Senator Hillary Clinton, who has also visited New York. That’s the exciting news from the New York Daily News, which also reports that Ellen DeGeneres will make the teevee show in a room that used to be the “home for jazz” or something. MORE »

Hooray for the freedom of the British sailors who were only following orders and trying to instigate war with Iran! And wow, this gang puts the “hot” back in … uh, “hot-stages.” We are pretty sure they weren’t doing boat patrol in those Justin Timberlake suits. A Wonkette Operative writes:

All of the male British sailors are groomed, dressed in finely tailored suits, and look unbelievably hot (except for the short guy in the middle who looks like a midget lesbian). And then … there’s Faye Turney, who is wearing a denim jumpsuit (as my friend calls them, “Canadian tuxedos”) and HORIZONTAL STRIPES. In ORANGE. She looks like the elderly Russian babushka house mother taking care of a bunch of hot male models who live together in Miami Beach.

Seriously. this may be lost on you guys, but to the gay community, these are the sexiest hostages EVER. Too bad that dumpy bitch is in the picture ruining today’s fantasy.

Who Got the British Sailors Released? [TIME]

* Phil Gingrey proves you can always trust a congressman with a dyed mustache to give you the best information on cockroach and rodent infestation. [Think Progress]
* Sam Brownback pretends he likes girls. [Spin Cycle]
* “CNN Contributor Tom DeLay, live, in the Situation Room.” [Political Wire]
* Scooter planning to out Valerie Plame — as a lesbian. [Comedy Central Insider]
* Hillary Clinton is conspiring to make sure your blog sucks. [Eschaton]
* Cops and firefighters remember why they hate Giuliani. [NYDN, Political Insider]

When we last cared about Gary Ackerman, he was accidentally voting against pornography. Yesterday, though, he planted himself firmly on the side of the steamy and unlikely fantasies of teenage boys. MORE »

It’s no coincidence that ex-Chairman of the Joint Chiefs of Staff John M. Shalikashvili wants openly-homosexual people in the military — that’s the only way to find another 20,000+ bodies to ship to Iraq. Shalikashvili wrote in the NYT last week:

I now believe that if gay men and lesbians served openly in the United States military, they would not undermine the efficacy of the armed forces. Our military has been stretched thin by our deployments in the Middle East, and we must welcome the service of any American who is willing and able to do the job.

Expect gorgeous new recruiting offices to suddenly appear in the Castro, Logan Circle, Silver Lake and French Quarter. But the White House won’t allow photographs of rainbow-flag-draped coffins, either. MORE »

* Heard on the Hill: Rahm Emanuel puts Ken Mehlman in a “mini-bear hug,” asks what he’s doing next, says, “Banking, Ken, that’s where the money is” … Surprise entertainment at the exclusive RIAA holiday party? The Barenaked Ladies. Ok, we’re linking to so many pirated mp3s in protest now… “A revised floor schedule for Wednesday was sent out advising, “H.R. 6136 — Margaret Thatcher Congressional Gold Medal Act HAS BEEN PULLED.” Thank christ for Barny Frank. [Roll Call]
* Reliable Source: Because they live in Virginia, Mary Cheney’s partner Heather Poe will have no legal guardianship over their baby and won’t be allowed to adopt it unless they move to Maryland. [WP]
* Yeas and Nays: Official Congressional Gym very crowded these days, Democrats out of shape… Nancy Pelosi was 45 minutes late to a press briefing, more Democrats even later the next day. [Examiner]
* Under the Dome: Nancy Pelosi/Barbara Walters interview in the Capitol forces GOP staffers to wait until they pass before finishing cleaning out their bosses’ office… Santorum’s website slightly more gracious than his last speech… “Phil Olsen, the captain for Team USA in the World Beard and Moustache Championships, says [John] Bolton is welcome to a spot on the team.” [The Hill]
* Page Six: Just pure insanity re. Lindsay Lohan and Al Gore. It’s sad and crazy and makes us uncomfortable. [NYP]

Our crack team of Cheney Compound Spies never sleeps. Hot on the heels of the Mary Cheney pregnancy announcement, one Op saw evidence of mysterious rituals at the Vice Presidential Lair: MORE »

Congratulations to Dick & Lynne Cheney’s daughter Mary, who is now pregnant from sperm that presumably didn’t come from her “wife” Heather. You’ll recall that the Veep and daughter Mary spent Election Day hunting critters in South Dakota. Maybe that helps with conception. MORE »

The congressman from Illinois is making powerful friends wherever he goes. During a Monday night Daily Show appearance, the DCCC wizard was doing the usual “Bush sucks” routine and made a reference to FDR. MORE »

• Heard on the Hill: The ballad of Dennis Hastert and crazy evangelist con artist K.A. Paul… Maryland Senate candidate Michael Steele spends an awful lotta time with the lobbyists at Quinn Gillespie and Associates. Try “two days a week, dialing for dollars” sez one, Steele denies it… DC Magazine runs picture of Rep. Mary Bono (R-CA) and her boyfriend, Rep. Connie Mack (R-Fla). Captions it Bono “and guest.” [Roll Call]
• Reliable Source: Hillary Clinton’s mom has moved in with her… Mary Matalin compares her husband James Carville to Kim Jong-il. [WP]
• Yeas and Nays: Republicans hold fundraisers on golf courses surrounded by rich people… George Allen takes the money donated by Mark Foley, gives it to anti-porn group headed by Donna Rice. [Examiner]
• Rush and Molloy: Gore Vidal (god bless him) says Eleanor Roosevelt had “a Sapphic passion” for Amelia Earhart. Earhart was kinda creeped out. [NYDN]