lesbians
A failed Republican candidate for governor in Alabama has been discovered on a lesbian-impregnating rampage in New Zealand, despite his own anti-homosexual political actions and the fact that he’s married to a “two-time Mrs America finalist who has three children from a former relationship.” Bill Johnson, a conservative Christian politician who lost his 2009 campaign [...]
Throughout America’s history, people have always hated Newt Gingrich. Republicans hate him, Democrats hate him, and of course the nation’s wives all hate him. But a new historical document proves that Gingrich was just as unloved in the distant 1990s as he is today — some say he was despised even more then, because people [...]
Michael Steele was (barely) chosen as the Republican Party chairman a few years ago as a response to Barack Obama’s election to the presidency. Not a political response, so much as an image-y kind of thing. It’s hard to remember now, but the trend in 2008-2009 was all about tall, dark and handsome men. Especially [...]
DUM DUM DUM DUM DUMMMMMMMM. What advantage does a lesbian have over a married woman? She doesn’t have to seek love from a planet full of dickwad men, that’s right. But what deficiency does she have? She doesn’t have equal rights, correct! Wait, let’s try that again.
Bristol Palin has posted a new Facebook post, arguing about something or other with former comedian Margaret Cho, because Bristol wants to stretch out her time on the dancing teevee show into actual celebrity or something, we guess. Cho said some inane, unfunny thing about Bristol, so Bristol used the word “canard” again and also [...]
Delaware masturbation witch and constitutional scholar Christine O’Donnell finally did another teevee interview! It is super boring, but we’ll post it just in case you (like most Americans) have a lot of time on your hands. Better to watch a dull ABC News interview with jobless sex activist Christine O’Donnell rather than let your idle [...]
Your Wonkette reporter of The Homosexuals is back bearing good news, or as they like to call it in church, “a new gospel”: All of the world’s lesbians have been fully repented for! This happened last week, in Sacramento, at a big Jesus party thrown by My Boyfriend Lou Engle. Though he has failed utterly in [...]
RNC comedy chairman Michael Steele has finally stepped up and taken responsibility for the Republicans’ insane bondage-lesbian-strip-club party spending, if by “stepped up” you mean “he fired the finance director and the deputy finance director.” (He fired another minor character in this sexytime melodrama back in March.) Steele, America’s Number One hilarious person, told RNC [...]
Michael Steele’s exclusive fraternity, the GOP “Young Eagles,” just rolls from strip joint to strip joint, blowing two-grand a pop on Kristol and lap dances. And dumb Republican donors pay for all this, while Socialism is the Law of the Land! What are these Young Republicans typing to each other, anyway?
Jeez, Michael Steele’s Republican Party is just throwing its own loyalists under the bus for the hell of it. Turns out Orange County GOP donor Erik Brown covered the Republicans’ party tab at lesbian-bondage disco-strip-bar Club Voyeur West because the RNC’s credit card was rejected. The RNC staffer reportedly said to Brown, who was sitting [...]
Wonkette pal (and your editor’s former editor at LA CityBeat) Rebecca Schoenkopf sends this note regarding Erik Brown, the Orange County GOP donor now taking the fall for the RNC’s $2,000 sexytime at West Hollywood’s Club Voyeur bondage-lesbian den of debauchery: “I know Erik Brown really well; we used to do a radio show together,” [...]
America’s #1 Republican, GOP Chairman Michael Steele, likes to “make it rain” at fancy liberal sex clubs. According to important new Republican webzine The Daily Caller, just last month Steele “spent $1,946.25 at Voyeur West Hollywood, a bondage-themed nightclub featuring topless women dancers imitating lesbian sex.” He dropped more than $15,000 at the Beverly Hills [...]
Infer what you will from this latest polling of Dumb America. Probably the simplest and therefore most correct explanation is, “Whoa shit, lesbians! Nice!!” [CBS News]
