Tag: lesbians

These Wonderful Old Lesbians Will Beat Your Ass If You Don’t Vote For Hillary Clinton

Meet Lennie Gerber and Pearl Berlin! They are THE BEST.

Rush Limbaugh So Mad Obama Creating Army Of Lesbian Farmers To Destroy America

Bet you didn't even know this was happening. Thanks, Rush Limbaugh!

Badass New Miss Missouri Will Be First Openly Lesbian Lady To Gay Up Miss America Contest

Don't you want to read a NICE story on Friday morning? Yes you do, CLICK CLICK CLICK!

Bill O’Reilly’s Falafel Thingie Distressed By All The Dicks In The Girls’ Locker Room

Bill O'Reilly, who maybe beat his wife, has thoughts on how transgenders in bathrooms are 'inappropriate.'

Crazy Monster Drink Lady Hopes You Appreciate How Much Your Mom Loves Dick

Did you hug your mom on Mother's Day and thank her for loving penis so much? WHY NOT, YOU UNGRATEFUL BASTARD?
Now they've even destroyed the sanctity of divorce

Supreme Court Lets Lesbians Be Mommies, Civilization To End By Dinnertime

In a stunning defeat for the backwater cousin-humpers of Alabama, the United States Supreme Court unanimously ruled Monday that the state's Supreme Court sure is dumb at reading the Constitution. The case stems from a nice lesbian couple in Georgia...
there's that appleheaded vagina mouth we love so much

Donald Trump Thinks Gays Are Just Terrific, Unless He Doesn’t. Who Even Knows?

Raise your hand if you think Donald Trump believes even half of the stuff that comes out of his mouth. Now if your hand is raised, use it to slap yourself in the face and ask yourself why you...

Kirk Cameron’s Moron Sister Promises No Gay-Bashing On New ‘Fuller House’ Show

If you are anything like All Patriotic Americans, you are at least morbidly curious to see what Netflix's new "Fuller House" re-up revival teevee program will be like. They are all growned-up now, and DJ Tanner (AKA Candace Cameron...

Hillary Shows America How To Lady-Scissor In Heartwarming Gay Ad

Uh oh, it looks like the New York Times was right when it was just implying how maybe Hillary Clinton and Huma Abedin play Mighty Morphin Scissor Ranger with each other all the time, in bed. And of course, everybody LOLed during...

Lesbian Superhero Houston Mayor Wants Gay Rights Ordinance Back Right Now, Dammit

Tuesday night, Houston took one giant leap backward for humankind, as the Jenny Jerkoffs who showed up to vote decided to listen to lying religious right mofos instead of their own good sense, and effectively killed the Houston Equal...

Jewishes Not Interested In Your Bathroom Junk, Don’t Care If That Makes Jesus Cry

While we have been made aware that this here is a Christian nation, it says so right in the Bible, and therefore all our laws ought to follow what Jesus said about transhomosexbians, in Leviticus, behold some heathen rebels...
Lesbian outlaws

Lesbians Terrorize Hawaii Supermarket With Kisses, Lesbianism

Same old story. Go on Hawaiian vacation, go to grocery store with lesbian lover lady, research various melons (the produce kind, not each other's), kiss lesbian lover on cheek, end up in jail for a couple days for allegedly...
A typical gay family.

Science Says Lesbian Mommies Are Better Than Good Christian Heterosexual Parents

HAHAHA, TAKE THAT, WINGNUTS. It is some new Science for us to throw at you and shove in your face and rub in your hair and whatever else we decide to do with Science. Remember last year, there was...
Christian who somehow has not been jailed yet

Meet This One Christian Baker Who’s NOT A Dick To Gay People!

Being a fundamentalist Christian who owns a cake-baking business or works for the government as the county clerk is SO hard. You have to get up each and every day and go to work and abide by super-unfair laws...
Narrated by Huma Abedin probably.

New York Times Just Suggesting Maybe Hillary’s Getting Some Lesbian Ass On The Side

Oh hey, New York Times Facebook word-writer social media person, what are YOU doing? Oh, just posting this article with these words written above it? Ah, we see. And what salacious wonders will we find when we click on this article...
And this time, they brought Jesus.

Duke Freshman Snowflake Babies Pretty Sure Mom Said No Reading Books About Lesbians

Hating on millennial snowflakes and conservative Christian whiners at the same time? SIGN US UP! So here is a story from the 8th-ranked-in-the-nation Duke University, where, IN THEORY, idiots aren't allowed to study. Every year, Duke picks a book...