Tag Archives: lena dunham

  A 100% Factual Article About Things That Are True

Some Jerk Trolled All The Conservatives About Lena Dunham What A Jerk

Separated at Birth?
From our good pal and Happy Nice Time People alumnus Kaleb Horton comes an epic tale of Mistaken Reading. Usually, the “fake thing mistaken for real thing” stories we most often see result from some poor doofus getting taken in by a satirical fake-news (or just stupid fake-news) website, like that one congressman who thought the Onion’s Abortionplex story was true, or the Defenders of Christmas who called for the head of a nonexistent teacher at a real school. This time, though, we bring you Kaleb’s story of how he accidentally fooled some wingnuts into thinking that Lena Dunham’s book Not That Kind of Girl included a passage on the excesses of capitalism. Read more on Some Jerk Trolled All The Conservatives About Lena Dunham What A Jerk…
  Some Men Just Want To Call The World Flat

Sunday Bloody NYT Sunday: Special Tom Friedman Rented ‘Batman’ Edition

Holy nightmare fuel, Batman!
Most of the news today is predictably awful, so we will just skim it, thank you. Good god, you people aren’t actually relying on Yr Wonkette to be informed, are you? It looks like the government of Hong Kong is trying to avoid going all Tienanmen Square on pro-democracy protesters, so that’s a good thing. The federal government is trying to reach out to disaffected Muslim youth in America to prevent them from joining ISIS and other terrorist groups, a task which is made difficult by the fact that the government has done so much to treat American Muslims like pariahs (and American wingnuts keep calling for more). See the treatment of NPR’s Sarah Abdurrahman during a routine crossing from Canada back into the US last year for an example of actions that may be even more likely than AP History to make people hate this government. Read more on Sunday Bloody NYT Sunday: Special Tom Friedman Rented ‘Batman’ Edition…
  I Am Mad About A Thing

I Take Birth Control Because I’m A Slutty Slut Who Sluts So Hard. You?

Okay, so, birth control. It’s this, like, medication-type thing, right? Like Advil for your aches and pains. Or aspirin so you don’t stroke out or have a heart attack. Or Flintstones vitamins so you grow up big and strong enough to turn a dinosaur into a car. Or Viagra so when you and your bros jet off to the Dominican Republic to bang some prostitutes, your floppy flaccid dick actually gets hard, but of course you have the prescription filled in someone else’s name because HELLO, when it comes to sex pills, you are all, like, I want “to PROTECT MY PRIVACY, given the potential embarrassing nature of Viagra.” Understandable, of course, because when you’re popping sex pills, it’s sort of no one’s business, right, RUSH LIMBAUGH? (Yes, that was an actual quote from the actual Rush Limbaugh. Feel free to mock that FOREVER.) Anyway, birth control is pretty much like that. It is a medication type thing that some women (basically all women, like 99 percent of them) use in a medication type way for medical type reasons, such as, for example, endometriosis, which is extremely painful and can be treated with birth control. Such as also for example not wanting to grow a baby inside your body, which can be avoided with birth control. Such as also too for example you are getting married and then going on a fabulous two-week honeymoon to a five-star hotel on the beach, and you do NOT want to be a crampy, bloody, bloated bridezilla, so you’d like to skip it altogether please, which is possible with birth control. Stuff like that. How. EVER. Read more on I Take Birth Control Because I’m A Slutty Slut Who Sluts So Hard. You?…
  how you gonna have a dream come true?

Happy Talkin Talkin Happy Talk (Etc)

In today’s edition of Things We Didn’t Already Crosspost Here, we have Klingon Nerd Beer for Nerds, Our Terrible Brackets (Jeff wouldn’t let me choose EVERY underdog for EVERY sportsball match, despite the fact I almost won ALL THE DOLLARS once exacta-ing the top two longshots, but then I forgot to box them, or I would have COMPLETELY FUCKING PICKED HARVARD), a Nashville recap that I didn’t read, but it’s Snipy! What could go wrong!, my masterpiece on Zac Efron’s BUMFIGHTS that all y’all have not fucking read despite my promising Lisa it would get a MILLION GODDAMNED PAGEVIEWS (I was drunk), and Snipy on Joan Rivers fatshaming that luscious Lena Dunham, which very well could have already been posted over here (feminism! bodyshaming! public health!) but I do not care to check. (Still drunk.) As a matter of fact, when Lisa/Snipy pitched the story in the chatcave I only approved it on the condition that SHE AGREE WITH ME that Lena Dunham is fucking beyoootiful naked, and only looks terrible in her terrible clothes, which are terrible. Lisa/Snipy agreed. Let’s all find out together whether or not she pointed that out, because I forgot to edit it. Read more on Happy Talkin Talkin Happy Talk (Etc)…
  sound and fury signifying nothing

What Is Everyone Yelling About Today? Photoshopping Lena Dunham For Vogue Of Course!

Yesterday, Jezebel offered a $10,000 bounty to anyone who would slip them the unretouched photos from Lena Dunham’s Vogue cover shoot. We immediately had to endure a spate of pieces about it ranging from the OMG Photoshop Fail variety to the obligatory feministy thinkpiece about how it was totally a lady-positive act to demand the unretouched pix make it into the wild. Read more on What Is Everyone Yelling About Today? Photoshopping Lena Dunham For Vogue Of Course!…
  urine big trouble young lady

Wingnuts Outraged: HBO Lady Lena Dunham Pees All Over Memorial Day

Say, would you believe that conservative blogonauts found something to spend Memorial Day DEEPLY OFFENDEDED over? Yes, we know, what are the odds? The shocking contretemps involved Lena Dunham, that terrible awful young lady who made an innuendo-laden video that compared voting to sexytime romps with a black man. We don’t know much about Ms. Dunham, but Yr Editrix is a fan. Now it seems that Ms. Dunham has gotten herself into one of those wacky scrapes you’d expect from the “Carrie Tyler Moore” character on that Girls Gossiping in the City show of hers, only instead of an embarrassing hipster faux pas involving whatever the hell constitutes a faux pas among hipsters, she committed High Treason by Twitter, sending out a message that quite literally announced her hatred for the troops, the flag, the Constitution, and All that is Good and Holy. We hope you are sitting down, because we will now reveal the contents of her perfidious tweet. It read in full, “Happy Memorial Day! I’ve already peed in two different Starbucks bathrooms!” WTF? TMI?  No, wait, Egad! Did that whore just trivialize Memorial Day? Quick! To the Outrage Signal! Read more on Wingnuts Outraged: HBO Lady Lena Dunham Pees All Over Memorial Day…
  once you go barack you never go back

Wingnuts Terrified: Black Man Coming For, Possibly On, Their Daughters

You wanna see something really scary? “First he asked for your wedding gifts, then your yard sales and now he has asked for your daughters.” Dun dun DUN. That’s right. The most scariest thing that could ever have happened has happened, right here in our own US of A. A woman made a video acting like she wanted Pimp in Chief Barack Obama to do sex on her young white body, and the wingnuts are reacting exactly as you’d expect: by rolling their eyes and going “eh, if we were libtards we would think that was funny we guess, but we’re not so we don’t” and then moving onto something important. HAHA just kidding. No. They are fainting in horror and screeching and wailing that mildly racy dialogue (if it were 1924) of young white women implying doing sex on Barack Obama will result in his landslide defeat. Let us watch them gnash their teeth and tear their hair, together, after the jump. Read more on Wingnuts Terrified: Black Man Coming For, Possibly On, Their Daughters…