• On Christmas, four DC cops were videotaped stealing from Toys for Tots. Dick Cheney will subpoena this video and masturbate to it until Valentine’s Day. [DC Examiner]
• Former Post executive editor Len Downie writes smutty fan-fiction about Ben Bradlee, our nation’s first lady. [Washingtonian]
• The Washington Post and the Baltimore Sun will now share stories, but only those about “certain Maryland news” (traffic on the Beltways?) and sports. [Fishbowl DC]
• Barry’s face will now grace Metro farecards, just like an actual fascist dictatorship. [WTOP]
• The cause of Bethesda’s terrible Biblical flood is still a mystery, but a sublime mystery. [Washington Post]

Post executive editor Len Downie reassures his battle-weary troops: MORE »

MORE »

• Larry Beinhart offers rebranding strategies to the Bushies. [HuffPo via Boing Boing]
• not-gay Kevin Spacey spotted at Camelot. [RCR]
• Really, no one likes Hillary’s anti-flag burning amendment. [NewsMax]
• “Look, the public doesn’t care or know about what Bob Woodward did or did not tell Len Downie.” True. [NYT]
• Hey, do you think the “White House Briefing” is written by someone covering the White House? Ha-ha. [WP]
• Gawker reads Ken Auletta’s piece on the New York Times so you don’t have to. (Thanks, Gawker!) [Gawker]

As pointed out by reader M.A., during today’s “Post Politics Hour” chat at washingtonpost.com, national political editor John Harris spent the first few minutes responding to questions about Woodwardgate (heh) with his best Scott McClellan:

John F. Harris: I’m sorry, but I don’t know about the matter to which you refer. MORE »

• There’s a lot of standing in the new Aaron Brown-Anderson Cooper CNN show. The upside (as it were?): ” [I]t was a perfect moment to check out Cooper’s backside.” His million-dollar backside! [SFGate, Book Standard]]
• The WaPo’s Len Downie: “[W]e upset many people every day with some aspect of our journalism.. .We are not trying to play it safe.” [WashingtonPost.com]
• “The Washington Post doesn’t do blind items because the lawyers really, really hate all the paperwork in lawsuits.” [Washingtonpost.com]
• “O’REILLY: You have leather in every shape and every color.” [Reference Tone]

• Novak gone from CNN? [TVNewser]
• Dan Quayle: “Non, je ne regrette rien.” [Gawker]
• Downie tried everything short of showing up dressed in Saran Wrap to keep Steve Coll from jumping to the NYer. [NYT]
• Rather will miss drunk-dialing Jennings. [NYM]
• Potential FCC guideline: “we’d like to explore bringing soccer uniforms up to the decency standards of more fully clothed American sports such as baseball and football.” [AdAge]